It's hard. Luvn you holding another. I'm finding it difficult every moment of the day. Idk if I'm broken in a way I jus can't let go or hurt beyond repair. I do know I miss you one. But to ever go another round with the easy you luv scares the shit outta me if it were ever possible. Time aches for you as I linger through life ashamed of what I've become. Seems I gave everything I had to you of all people. The only one in my eyes that I couldn't help but to lay me on the line for. You once asked me why me, refering to yourself. Why me? And all I could say is, I jus can't help myself. Ur Mandy! As u followed with another question of what's do special about that? I don't think you'll ever understand what you meant to me. What I seen in you and felt and still do tryin this day than prolly live inside of me unused as life will forever drag out without you. Your in my every thought clinging to me. Holding me back from every giving anyone the time they will ever deserve. Guess I truly did fall in luv with you after all huh? What I said was real. I'll luv you til the end of my time and no one can ever take that from me. Do you remember that? Can you recall how lost in luv I was with you? Yeah, now I'm lost in another way damn near begging myself to just let the fuck go. Yet I can't. I've tried. Literally told myself I'm better off because I know for a fact that you are my kryptonite. Only if you knew that the friend I told you I was hasn't given up. Only if you woulda believed in me the way I did in you. I promised you you'd always have someone, at least one person that card enough to be there for you. As that was never a lie. Shit just got sideways and I couldn't help but to save myself. You forgotten who I was to you. But I've forgiven you. There is no hatred in my heart everytime you cross my mind. Just a lonely feeling of living without you til the day I die. I do apologize for my part in the chaos we shared towards the end. I hadn't a clue on how to have the depth of emotions that pleaded not in desperation to stand by your side but because the luv that still remains for you is honestly yours if ever you