unfair

I luv u til u hate me, but it doesn't change the fact that when ur mad I wanna turn n walk away. Thing is if I do I'd miss out on the good times that never surfaced as the struggle still remains. I'm learnin how to luv again n this u should know jus in case I'm not up to part. There's a fear that u didn't cause behind the greatest I've ever been in my heart. Understand I know what it is that stand before me willin to test times luv here n now. N I'm surfacin to show my own will as who it is I truly am speakin without sound. I jus need to be tuned n played with a rhythm that pushes notes as if luv itself thru my veins. I wanna move with ur sway but I'm not sure I know how the movement will leave me if it were to set adrift before the truth of gain. As u want honesty to open up n live n stop this charade of defense that's unfair to u. I know, I should know better by now keeps runnin thru my mind not used. There's a monster within that I confide in that tells me how never to be hurt again. N I'm the one lookin like the azz cuz I listen to the unfair advantage causin the strain. I sit alone when u can't bare to be here with me n shake my head as if I don't get the point of no return. The moment where it's to late that closes the unlocked for with a click n I'm on the outside for I can't seem to learn. Change or find a single life rips thoughts apart way to often. As I choke on the battle inside to jus be n stop worryin bout the poison haltin luv pausin. They're no sense in bein this way, so I'm gonna let loose of a part time that u know as well destroyed me. N jus luv the feelin of havin u closer than I ever imagined s towards u I lean.

somethin went wrong

only if u could see my face fadin as time slips away.
fallin behind ur luv walkin into the distance of pain.
jus to hold u under truths touch jus once would mean so much.
cuz I'm still sittin hear shakin my head, madly in luv.
how'd this become when in the moment we was so beautiful.
I'm starvin n I can't seem to tell u how ur still irresistible.
only if u could see me now achin somewhere new.
as ur hand let go for some unknown reason changin truths.
u wouldn't recognize me if ur eyes ever rested upon my face.
I lost my use to feel anything comfortable as I'm in a daze.
somethin went wrong as I broke inside jus wantin ur forever.
yet strangers we became breakin under the pressure.
it's like e never happened n in my dreams u crawled back into.
jus wish the unthinkable to come from outta the blue.
the way u did back when ur eyes lit up peek in a glimpse at me.
I was everything I ever wanted to be collapsin as my heart was freed.
but if u an were to see me now u couldn't tell that I'm the same man u knew.
I'm twisted n in need of somethin as real as I have u to stand true.
til the end where I thought I'd wind up in Luvs tenderness.
somewhere where as I give I'm not half stepped feelin another loss.
guess letting go of somethin that's Luvd unconditionally jus isn't fair.
when depths of intensions stood up n showed they cared.
yet it was all for nothin is what I tell myself everyday.
but truth be told, I think about u hopin I can come home someday.
sorry for the pain that over ran what I was truly attemptin to do.
this is gonna be a long life as I'm back to wonderin bout only u.
the feelin won't fade from our yesterdays memory holdin on to my emotions.
I still feel u as naturally as luv can be expressed within the walls sensation.
but if u were to walk me by, you'd probably witness an empty stare.
it's shows a smile but lies to this world makin due livin in a nightmare.
I've said goodbye so many times n woke up whisper in ilu one.
quietly as kept in goin thru the motions feelin someone else for the moment.
I don't know how long it'll last before the end is no longer a vent.
I don't wanna go on with this torchered way of life in which ive landed.
cuz even she doesn't see the good as imma wind up empty handed.
I miss u n if this is read by the wrong person it's sure to come to close.
but there's only one luv of my life n she walked away so............

simultaneous gestures

slicing air slipping simultaneous gestures the as the slobbering tongue is to mute to spit syllables tamed by Luvs situation wedging the separation of birds taking flight to reunite screaming in silences stand searching to seek the sound to help the mouth take shape in the submissions false shelter shaving layers sitting still as the skill thins under the circumstances cuz the strain is deeper the the eyes can see depths straining to realize there is no safe cone beneath the changing skies.....

Losin

it's almost a beautiful place to be.
so use to lettin loose of lifes dreams.
with the comfort of wanton more.
one will find them self in their core.
hiddin from the touch reachin.
cuz lessons r never teachin.
jus the same ol kinda luv.
found n fadin away to the norm flush.
somehow the situation is expected.
as truths after a while r unmentioned.
good for so long to Losin time.
forgettin y the claim was ever (mine).
under the submission things pass.
n a face is misplaced basis or lasts.
yet in the middle of the bs.
everything changes that needs to be fixed.
in a place where it feel apart.
n its normal once again to restart.
sad in a way it sticks to the mind of y.
as the fight gave up n emotions hide.
Losin that feelin of completion.
as no one is gettin the proper attention.
to the exact point of a loss in life.
the step takes place so eyes can dry.
is an unfortunate coarse of events.
where right before the end, we vent.
after fallin into that special kinda luv.
fallin from it is chalked up as lust.
all cuz somewhere along the way the breeze blew.
I thought u knew?

so able

nuts in hand with self settled beneath the skins irritation of bein touched by lies.
told what's needed to be said n the head bangs as if a hangover shuts the eyes.
I've been back n fourth through thoughts that broke the most sensitive dude of a man opened n fragile to Luvs calm.
yet upward my own rose to a place so alone crashin behind doors in muted pause.
in those moments I rotated the train of thought right to left n find reality.
from the depths of stored on by feet that was never were suppose to squash dreams.
I was in my own with self silent n driftin into my heart tilted n shook like a snow globe.
on the run n leavin behind me hire I allowed self to crumble in hands that roamed.
so walkin stepped left right left info the presence of the unthinkable.
side was made n filled quicker than expected for my back was watched so able.
reachin for me I felt what I've missed my whole life long makin contact do soft.
n yet what to do with it I hadn't a clue cuz I was stuck with emotions still limgerin n lost.
Turin on it I fell even harder as it wasn't with me the way it tried to be cuz of me.
as a decision came to surface that punched me in that secret places of truths plead.
learnin what I wanted I spoke n it returned to my surprise to stand close together.
still here today I lean into luv that came back that gives so much more comfort than ever.
luvn the way I luv I'm collapsed to the beautiful kind of pain that eased me back to life.
settling within her I crawled as I never wanna see the day I'd ever havta claim another as mine.

u n i

taping in to what brings u n I to this moment of being here.
with everything against us n along the way there's been a few shredded tears.
our time together hasn't seen good times n yet we stand strong making dreams.
it's a funny thing when there's no strings that connects our reality.
jus u for me n I for u wanting that feeling of jus stay with me cuz id miss u.
finding that comfort of knowing someone came looking for a use.
we've seen the hardest of time come n we fought for what meant something to us.
digging in to realize there's more than a friendship that opened up to trust.
a hard road it was that confused u n I as frustration lingered in the air.
but I gotta say from the bottom of my heart I'm glad we made it as a pair.
ready to walk away every now n again never made it past a few hours of fuck it.
cuz deep down an emotion was shared that was irreplaceable by the bullshit.
things still aren't the life we wanna get to but what we've accomplished so far is great.
falling into place is something to cling to for we've seen the bottom n didn't break.
n at the end of each day it's u n I holding us so close to the hearts willingness to feel.
exploring that pleasure so rare where memories remind us that our luv is real.