within the hearts crack

I allowed the heart to crack.
Into a shape that smiled.
N as it was chippin away the stone texture.
It was broken beyond repairs matter.
The man within rose n bloomed.
To witness its own doomed.
Trustin an other to fill a void.
Feelins ripped loose as I found joy.
Tearin me apart lil by lil.
Til who I was stood silently still.
The head hangs in the balance of confusion.
Battlin a war that feeds the illusion.
Luv does not exist in eyes that weep.
Tryin to see clearly y time leaves.
Loosened by the pounds that beat my worth.
Listenin to the vibes goin mute to words.
I am jus a man attemptin to feel the gain.
Strugglin to be felt as if I was the rain.
As the opened gate is a lonely defeat.
Once the passion is layed at the feet.
Unrecognizable n beggin for mercies  pause.
I see n have seen the ends lost cause.
N all I ever wanted was somethin as real as air.
To be able to breathe what is considered fair.
Inhalin a females pheromones til the end.
Jus one in which I as self can bend.
Yet the inability of returnin what I give is absent.
Forcin the hole to walk thru me to decend.
Grippin the wrist of touchn go to settle on the surface.
Before the skin melts n im vulnerable to lust.
Seekin self righteousness playin me as a pawn.
From the early light of dusks dawn.
Im left with a war I can not win beneath the pain.
N im bout to even the odds cuz I refuse to go insane.