I've hated me more than you ever could bare the rush. So hold me too your standards all you want. Mine are higher than you'll ever climb. Even for me I'm hard to luv and that's no lie. I'll never reach my own potential trying to simply live. As to your likings I never had a chance to share what I've learned to give. There's too many mistakes to create trying to get everything right. So why would I do anything but attempt new ways to enjoy my life? I'm not a failure, I'm not at fault. And if I'm a disappointment that rubs you raw. I'm just doing what everyone else is avoiding that never pans out. And I've torn me apart in ways it sounds softer coming outta your mouth. My reflection don't lie and your blame has no stance. I'm not the problem and I'll never be damned. Human is human and there's no cheat code to appease others that play gods her in the real world. I don't believe you belong somewhere outta sight, and outta mind for middle fingers to uncurl. Don't make me place you over to the side with everyone else. I'm too far gone to return with help. Bcuz I've ripped pieces of me away that'll never grow back. Facts are facts. Add I've been trying to escape from beneath my own reasoning for far too long. Are we that much different or am I, in your eyes, forever wrong? I can't give a shit if you can't let me be me. My will is my way for it'll be. I'm my own way of figuring out the fiasco of my unwritten smirk. Believe it or not, I too have a worth. I'm tired but I do what needs to be done. Body is breaking but holding on to number one. Mind is at wits end and just wants peace. And thy heart feels torn with the way the pulse wants to bleed. Your hands pull with tug that pushes away a double blade as if a saw cutting through my intent. I'm holding in the sound that exposed you that'll never vent. I'm never the one witnessed as my best. It's a funny lil thing when everything plays out as what affects the contents of the chest. As I accept my bad decisions are the final drain. The dagger thrown back as if I meant to initiated the pain. All I've ever tried was to create a smile from within. Hoping it'll linger long enough upon my face so others can reciprocate it with a grin. But here I am, talking to my twin. Losing the fight and wishing he'd come from the mirror to show me the way to live. Then again, would you even considered doing the same? It's all coming down to a gesture of stale mate. You can be you but I'm too breathe from the depths of your mental trenches. As it's my silence of truths that are the things I refuse to mention. Protection at all cost. Not of me but for you so this world doesn't treat you just as raw. Maybe one day you'll see me before I'm gone. Hopefully before you step outside of yourself when even your life will get lost...
