momentary at best...

are you, out there? lost in a wave of hands claiming to wanna lend a generosity. as selfish intent of assumptions consume the mask of intentions infiltrating depths for critical deception claiming to hold down the fort that cannot withstand the outside world breaking the barriers. what? no animosity? no fight to never forgive actions that need held accountable to the choices that do wrong as who appeared is safe from the gestured has gone unpunished. for real? help. say it. tell me you're finished. I've lingering down that road a lil too long. as the softer side retreated for a piece of mind no one else could give. it's been too long, huh? sung songs just ain't hitting the feel of completion to drive the force to truly live? what's up? don't worry, I ain't as proper as my words reflect worth. I'm no more than you wanting to configure a resolution to the chaos presented to the unrecognized pain. Yes, it exists but don't tell if I admit it hurts. I've come to adapt to the realization that all there truly is, is me. as you is you. but damn if I find it irrelevant to enjoy life's ups and downs. are you, reading along? did you find me descending within and away from mindless supervision? losing rhymes in the verbal disconnection of running outta what's considered to be time. wounded and healed by silence and solitude, can you relate? too many questions? ok, I'll make words sound all the same. seems every other line is on repeat so you can follow along. am I wrong? what's your face doing right now? oops, that was another bloop, maybe I shouldn't make a sound. are you, with me? drifting in space to allows moments to pass oh so fast. one day after another as change is needed to let loose before it's all over. onward from a past not worth a fuck. in the now of where am I going into a forbidden forever. ohh how shallow everything has actually become when another isn't the enjoyable factor for the awakening of timeless has already begun. tell me if you're somewhere close. another stranger sneaking up on me from my blindside isn't a temptation I can accept. I'm receding slowly but it feels as if I'm falling beneath the level of comprehension. how is it everyone is only about self? hold on, wait. luv is the most selfish of all. it's seems I'm the opposite of what is considered to me the norm. as like is as invisible as the sun at night. what a life. are you even real? do you exist? to give a lil subtleness to the end approaching rapidly. drastically it rushes through sunsets to obtain what's left. hello! or are you more like me? hidden within. wanting to live. with so much life to give. just reach for a feel in my ribs. the chuckle vibrating my bones is real. shaking the ends of me loose. or is it I'm too far gone? boom. kaboom. I'm cracking and I don't want anyone to see what it is I've tucked away. look away. for me. so I'm not as vulnerable as I seem. as the great solo artist deprived by my own pointless solitude that makes too much sense. people suck. where are you? iv'e been losing ground every single moment since I've become aware of this thing we believe is nothing more than in the now. soon too pass. and then..... 

forgotten when those who encountered us vanish as well. are you there? the difference would comfort the confusion of perishing one at a time. or am I even here long enough to matter? am I fucked in the head? or, am I just supposed to pretend it's all for nothing when we're doomed to ache? in the aftermath of nonexistence, what's any of it matter anyways? we're all just taking turns until someone sticks around long enough for one another to die. are you, mentally losing your shit? your mind? is it ok? wondering where I am? no? it's ok. I don't know who you are either. so anyways.............................

Fitted ball cap

It’s my hat that’s holding my head together. My thinning cap hides my eyes when the head tilts. When the beat doesn’t match the expressions and just wants feel better. I don’t wear snap backs for the havta be fitting to the thought process to eat I’m built. There’s no coming back from the past when the more transformed into the future of me waiting out life to see the sun from under the bill. In the shade is ever I was casted so in the shadows is ever is cool to be. I have something to catch the sweat before it drips into my eyes. So I can witness what’s stands before me. To have a choice in the matters of entanglements attempting to redirect my life. I’m most comfortable when it’s turned backwards bcuz ain’t nothing that’s come my way ever been straight. Not like I have been when they get close enough to the monster wanting to play. So just know if it sounds back sound and the face angles to the floor, I’m avoiding luv.,I just don’t want it no more. Now tell me I’m wrong for hiding my secrets in an ol ball cap that no one’s seen the inside of. All my bs goes into my safe space stitched together with threads. Keeping my truths somewhere outside my head so my piece of mind I can trust. It’s dinette they cannot me read. Worn out thoughts will give a reason to upgrade into a new feel upon the dome. Everything runs a coarse like hole to ventilate stench fumigating from effete I’ve been. Released at its highest point my worries escape to complete the process of my mind being my only home. An had had more purpose than anything that’s ever made me grin…

The return of the cuckoo…

When you wake up one day and the version of you, you wanted to get away from reminds you of who you truly are and it brings you back to life. Bcuz all the smiles and good deeds in the world are outta reach. Bcuz being a better person is over fuckin rated. When that dog wakes back up and everything that hasn’t felt like a norm fades away for the comfort of the fight chases it away. As the calmer side failed to maintain a balance as self needs the shackles removed. No fucks giving flies a set of birds seen in the mirrors image for the memory to chuckle bcuz it doesn’t have to like diddly squat. Needing not to play along for peace when the mind flips the switch to misbehave. The thought lingers, I tried. The smirk moves, who cares. When the old refuses to give in to the subtle bs granted can’t even take. When. It’s past the time of allowing shit. When standing on morals fluctuates when weaving to the bob of flowing with the wind. When the mind finally snaps back into reality and faces aren’t familiar any more. As the growl from within hungers for a lil taste of insanity, wanting to play in pettiness for the game is easy for the win. Even those itty bitty butterflies float in the stomach when the cocoon opens up to release the cuckoo laughing steadily. Warped by life wanting to claim its creation. Knowing it was a genetic mutation instead. When the truths of untold secrets hiding up under the tongue wanna speak. Pour a double shot, tilt the head back and feed whatever energy has provoked the monster wanting nothing more than to be left the fuck alone…