girl meets boy...

g.  (smiling).

b.  (looking around, noticing eyes peeking his way).

g.  (thinking oh yeah, here's a lil wink).

b.  (confidence rises).

g.  (waiting to see his move).

b.  (sighing with a chuckle).

g.  (continues with convo with friends).

b.  (walks over to say)...

g.  Well... that was easy.

b.  To be honest, I didn't wanna waste a moment and just let you stand over here and tease me.

g.  Please, tease you?

b.  It's just what I took from the wink you put to use.

g.  I thought it might get your attention.

b.  I do appreciate you easing the tension.

g.  So now your not stressed? (chuckle)

b.  That's cute, that was my guess.

g.  What is it you'd like to know.

b.  I'm not sure, but for some reason I just wanna talk to you.

b.  I don't wanna fuck this up, if you know what I mean.

g.  This isn't a hotel sweet but have a seat.

b.  I was hoping you were gonna say a lil something like that.

b.  Ahh. (sitting down) damn my back.

g.  I felt that, sounds like you need a massage.

g.  Too bad you don't have an entourage.

b.  I'm not sure if the watching is something they would wanna see.

g.  With your looks you'd be surprised on how many women you'd please.

b.  Maybe but I ain't into the whole being in the mix of shit of throwing my dick in the wind.

g.  Lets go talk a lil closer to the fire pit.

b.  Sounds good, lets go.

g.  Ooh it's warm, I like to glow.

b.  (smiles from the way the light bouncing of her face) Yeah, I like the flame myself.  

g.  (in front of the fire she stands and says) this is the best this nights felt.

b.  I seriously havta agree with that thought.

b.  Would it be cool if I warmed you in just a brief moment to pause?

b.  Just to stop the small talk.

g.  That would help the cause.

b.  (leans in to hold her for the first time) mmm, now that's nice.

g.  This is nice. I have your arms around me with this night sky.

b.  You do know that I've noticed you hours ago?

b.  And I havta say, I'm glad that wink you gave, gave a chance for me to not spend this night alone.

b.  I'm not saying anything is gonna come from this moment with you.

b.  But when, tomorrow comes I could only hope we could get away and cut loose.

g.  I'm glad you caught on to my subtle cues because standing her with you is almost prefect.

b.  That makes me approaching you sound like not so suspect.

b.  Maybe tomorrow we can talk without all this going on around us?

g.  Are you saying the night must...

b.  No, I'd just like for us to not be a thought left in the wind.

g.  Lets get outta here as this fire is starting to dim.

(and from there it's in the makings of what could possibly be)

written by: kay and butch...

too evolve...

You aren't where you're from. You're who you are wherever you wind up. It's just unfortunate those before you haven't tried to give you a better way.  Born into the bs of mindsets with too much chatter that the clutter of the clatter smeared upon they're face expressed emptiness of their own cage. It's on you to become what sets you free from the restraints that have claimed your free will. And lost you may simply seem trying to find mental stability when silenty sitting still. In moments where making sense of strange situations as norms evolve from thoughts to ease the tension that claims self as sane. Changing the outcome from the entrapment others were never clever enough to escape. There's a beauty in the transformation to take place that alerts choice to level up. So in with self, so with self, self can fall in luv. To give a rare opportunity for life itself to be seen. All the while living outside the box that never repeats the same ol' dreams. To be is to escape the voices reminding self of who it is they want you to be because they could. Free isn't something others comprehend along the way of getting to what's good. Where we all start isn't where we're supposed to end. That type of mindset never focuses on life's beautiful lil tweaks that find that one friend. One that's buried in the deep within the hidden to move when even to body lays still. Life is to be rearranged to find the comfort of the thrill.

me is a term...

There go you trying to luv me again when all I need is a friend. And you can't be accountable for your uncontrollable emotions again and again. I never lied nor told you I'd keep you close to me.  So don't go doing too much when I'm just trying to live a lil before feelings mix with lusts on the outside of daydreams. And yeah, I could write you something sweet to make you nibble you lower lip. But who would I be if I lured you into knowing it was me to be missed? Go ahead and call me a monster or tell me I'm broken.  Just remember I'm not the one who's willing to give without a reason. Sometimes it's okay to be alone and still be able to live. So, ease on up with the tenderness that's free for the claiming of forever like it's possible to give. Short and sweet I'm not a woman and I like the man that I am. I'm not complicating you the way you're making this a li too uncomfortable to keep on lending you, my hand. Rest assures if you'd expect less and feel the flow moving the way it knows how too. You'd come around to realize the individual within me that isn't so easily exposed to the woos. But here you are, coming on strong like you don't have a chance to ever get close. And yet, you're standing before me all up in your feelings because I'm a time capsule awaiting a real friend to know me so i too can go home. Where would I be if you left and I was alone with yet another broken promise that lied? Hi. I'm not for the bullshit, but I thought I mentioned that prior to any interest came to life. Or is it, you believe you can mold me into a figment roaming in your imaginations wet dream? Please, there's no chance to capture me sexual desires if that's the angle of your mission to receive me. You failed. All hail. I still prevail as me without a glimps of who I can't be altered in to. Me is a term I don't give to anyone to use. Figure as much when you reach for someone not like those you've come across. Straight up and honestly speaking, this is where we pause. As I await on your untamed response to tell me what it is I need to do. Because men don't bow but we do bend slightly to show a bit of depths throughout a day calling for a truce. To get away from the weight of a world so relentless on demanding us to stay intact. So, if you could stick to the facts. It would be a sigh unheard as the possibility of me resting my head on your lap could be a thing. Just relax and be the woman that earns a friend the way I will when nights tend to evolve into bodies that cling. Until then, slow your roll and quit expecting a fella to allow you in. I already know what comes from the silliness that foolishness represents. Long nights and wonder that ain't worth the thought process it takes to redefine self. I don't need your help. I'd like to just be left to my own free will and see where life goes. anything less I can go find myself a hoe. Truthfully speaking I'm prolly not what you're used to by far. I'm me so be you and never forget who you are...

wave goodbye...

You went swimming in the deep end. And back up on the shoreline you left me as a friend. But do you know, I would've kissed you under the water. To give you my last breath and sunk bcuz you mattered? Lil known facts you missed leave the moisture still building up in my eye. And yet z as you've shown, you don't need me in your life. You'd rather cause ripples that crash like waves than swim back to me. Even though I would've been you float to give safety to your dreams. From beneath the surface, I drowned with you, and you didn't even know it. As you struggled for air, I too felt that shit. Bcuz that's what luv is in its natural intent. But you'd know that if someone else you could actually depend. Truths from lies are gasps of survival silently heard. In time to come gives words their creation of worth. As I air here in the aftermath still soaked and defeated. Having to let go of luv that went under in a moment of clarity. Without a reason sighed with sincerity. I watched the tide take you as I was forced to save myself. Got you didn't give a fuck shit me as you needed not my help. I'm not your hero nor someone who was supposed to cater to the selfishness. Your just not my person that will invest in my happiness. This is evident as I accept the sun overlooking the beach. Knowing there's a horizon unseen that'll replace the leftovers of daydreams. Giving a new purpose to a sunset song back. Knowing I'm afraid of the depths water that can engulf the heart so fast. As I'll be anchored in the sand where my toes can curl in peace. For here i can be me... 

after so long...

She called for her luv a grin stretched across his face. For dementia gave up halfway for her to resurface remember his name. And with a smile he spoke softly in her ear. It's OK luv, have no fear. As she turned to him with confusion setting in. With a who are you look staring back, tarring at his own warn out grin. Thinking of the memories within his mind he whispered to her, "who is do you think I am"? She didn't recognize him as she said, "Stan". If the pain had words, he would've found the courage to tell her so. But as he ate his emotions he smirked with a moan. Twisted up he felt years wasted on a woman still in luv with her ex. He could see the torment of life in her eyes as he felt every ounce of what was left. And he thought of the years she lived with the emptiness of who she truly luv'd. Because it was then he realized he'll have to go on without her as is forever crush. Yet the disbelief crawled up under his skin as he still after everything couldn't seem to turn away. Even with the blankness upon her face. The man within stood still long enough to witness her come back and recognize her friend waiting ever so close. She didn't know he knew as she once again slipped off into what appeared to be a daydream so far from home. As a single tear slipped from his left eye as he broke with the truth too overwhelming to hold in. So, he giggled and sighed just before the sun didn't shine. All my life. What a fool I've been in my time. The voices came silently as the night took control of who he was for so long. But now in every way there's an absence that feels the presence of being lost. As his head refused to hang because of a promise made some years ago. One that swore to never leave her alone. Not until it was forced by the unfortunate ways of this world. Holding on he did for he gave his word to his girl. With a no matter what openness to remain by her side the darkness claimed the room with the shutting off of the lights. He left hospital sometime before morning and never went back due to the surrealness of the lie of her luv that gave clarity to what was nothing more than a down and dirty fight. How could someone allow another to give so much when in the hidden intent there was someone else stealing patience displayed. As he came to admit to himself, the bitch was fake...