Afraid to just be…

It’s not that I don’t wanna fuck. It’s just that intimacy scares off hormones bcuz it might attach us to luv. It’s a mental awareness of getting to close is where I shut down. To keep you at bay as I attempt to avoid your sweet moaning sounds. As even in the middle of the nasty I collapse under pressure. Afraid to feel so I’m fighting the motion of buried treasures. And oh how I wanna be deep within you giving you everything I am. But everything isn’t an option so I withdraw again and again. Losing focus and trying to be in the moment contradicts the act of enjoying your body. As I look at you like, mmm, as the thought occurs to play it safe and remain a nobody. That’s when the beast I hide fades from the pleasure before me. Making it hard for me to regain composure to fulfill your fantasies. For you’re worth every second tasted and touched with a tease that helps you explode. I on the other hand struggle to convince myself I’m worthy of anything more than being alone. It’s not that I fear the interaction playing out. It’s the after affect of the matter that drives me inward to escape what I cannot say out loud. I lack the ability to connect as sexual intent pays the price. Half azzing my abilities so the cling you aquier doesn’t mind me not sticking around in life. Even though I wanna bury my face between your legs until you come undone. To be the one to set you free from the bs by stroking you with my tongue. It just isn’t easy when the heart says, no! As my cock somewhere in your depths wants to go home. As a fantasy I engage in the thrills bcuz I crave what you have. But as a loner I only luv me still as long as I last. I’m not useless and I’m by far not shy. I just have an issue with being more than friends as I cannot lie. I wanna do more than you could possibly know. But I’m in the way of us completing what’s to be shown. Only if I could break free from my own self destruction you’d get the whole package. But I’m me and you’re you so you’re shorted the details of passion…

The sigh…

Just one more kiss. So my lips can remember the feel for an eternity. So my emotions can consume the need. Please, it’s not begging. It’s just a real detail in the middle of aging. I truly enjoy the way our faces lean in to the comfort of being close. In moments where alone has found a friend to share the sigh in between breaths. Yes! I crave your mouth. The way motion moves the life in my chest. There’s nothing more I could ever want. So call it luv or label me a fool. For that’s what I am for you. Standing as one individual waiting on the pressing of passions expressed. Without it I’m just a mess. Lost and longing for the thrill to speak to me. Fading into the memories daydreams. That ain’t the life I desire by far. The emptiness isn’t the a necessity of the heart. But me and you? That’s as exotic as the mind can imagine us put to use. So just feel my inner intention come to life. Sucking on the moisture of a sapiosexual’s reason of why. Why try, why dig into contents beneath the surface. Finding pieces of what makes me the better part of me wanting to be seen. All I’m saying is, don’t leave. I haven’t found what defines my intentions once we sat still and stared into each others eyes. As the action simply said, Hi! With a sigh that will last a lifetime and that’s the truth. For you my defenses call a truce. As the wall within collapses to let you in. I wanna taste your grin…

I am…

Falling through luv and landing on my feet. The beast is I for I am the beast. Without surrender and there is no regrets. In a mindset of make it into the now and stick around or step aside bcuz I don’t place bets. Glitches faded and fixed the issues within. I hit the ground standing up with a grin. Lifting myself from the dwelling with a better understanding of what a friend is. Even though I’ve never truly known one so I live. Emotion eats the heart in due time. Thoughts hate memory that don’t continue with life. So why try to believe anything will last. We all walk our paths as others come and go to create a past.  The outcast awakened to find fingers pointing at the difference they couldn’t relate to. The freak on the loose in the middle of everything bypassed to regain self being put to use. I am free for the dream died in the deep. All there is beneath the surface is just me. With room that isn’t empty yet vacant by choice. My time is endless until I cannot make anymore noise. I’m in the presence of who I am as the outsider drifting along. Unwilling to play the same ol games I believe I cannot go wrong. I’ve been to the bottom and I don’t belong there. Bcuz for me without another I do care. I was the hardest thing to dig outta me and I ain’t going back in. I wanna live. For the grr in me is the one I’ve come to be. Living I rest, for beginnings have ends and that’s when people leave. And yet I enjoy moments that build up on my mind. One day after the next I laugh at the hype. It never finds the now so I blink and I’m alone again. It’s just me in here as I’m a specific kinda man. Playing on the inside and out, I the weirdo don’t need another to exist. As silence is the words unspoken upon the lips. The creature of sanity unseen by eyes rolling is I that changed for ya better of I. And for it (I) don’t need a reason why…

Men…

Men lose pieces of self when luv turns the cheek. Emotions within isn’t supposed to be provoked by a woman who was nothing more than to leave. Pulling, tugging on who he is as a mate in the world just bcuz she can. Men have enough weight on the shoulders when all we want to do is to stop pretending to be a man. When a female isn’t the comfort of his escape he fades into the back of his mind. Losing focus in stares bcuz women cannot comprehend all of the other bs in his life. Men hurt too and it isn’t easy to submit to a friend worthy of trust. There’s a wall that protects the most sacred details of being free to luv. So to open the gates for a face to be the symbol of the desperation called hope. How he feels isn’t to be taken for granted or it’s back to living in the empty fulfillment of being alone. When she twists him beneath the layers of armor sighs are released right along with her. Bcuz deep inside is a fragile individual that wants the ease to realize worth. As a tear may fall when no other is around. To shed self from the deception of a foe in disguise lying out loud. Men ain’t weak but we sure ain’t immortal to say the least. It’s peace we seen in a luv’r that is so much more than a freaky beast. As fellas upon the planes we walk we cannot come from depths to show our true contents. Especially when we do we get ripped from ourselves when we’re simply attempting to living in time spent. We too get trapped mentally in a place we wish we cold flee. And unlike women it’s not just self men havta compete with as everything gets buried along with the thought of being free. For if we don’t stand firm everyone around us will believe we ain’t cut out to take our rightful place. When all we need to partake in the madness is a real friend that understands what it takes not to live with hate. As men look at females in the modern era as loose cannons wanting equality when it fits their needs. Just to point out the so called facts that some things are a man’s responsibility. As if they’ve ever seen a real man hold on to his sanity hidden behind eyes that close. Lifeless without passion is a man and yet it’s used against him by every naked body enjoyed with heated moans. So how is a man to give a woman the tenderness of his touch? When he finds himself to be in a battle to remain who he is bcuz she claims to be more of a man than who he is tainted by her skin laying flush. Just for him to havta get back to who he was prior to the chaos upon get fingertips. Men fall and men drift into a dwelling wonder of the capabilities of a woman’s lips. Slicing scars on the heart of a worthy compassion willing to be more than steal. Men do feel and we fear the uselessness looking back at us in ways we may never heal. We aren’t sponges but we absorb it all. And sometimes when meeting someone new we need a moment to thaw. Like a time capsule waiting to witness something we’ve never seen before. So we ain’t subject to having our use used by feet stepping on a floor. Men havta be the ones to suck it up and hide weakness from a society so relentless it tests him at any moments notice. As we lock the doors for a soothing set of hands that isn’t bogus. Men. We havta defend woman and self from them. It’s a merry go round of pointlessness when the the result claims good men. Quietly we just wanna forget every name we’ve ever been…