No more…

I failed self. My heart don’t work. Fuck no I don’t need help. Nor does it hurt. I’m free from the feeling of emotion. There’s no sense of devotion. Lost some say I may be. But at least I don’t pretend to live up to imaginary dreams. It’s me that forgot about the depths. The mind asks is there anything left. As I’m no one to complain of how things turned out. I’m alive and confused by the silence as I can hear my heart pound. It’s a different type of soothe. For some time now I’ve been on the loose. Watching faces come along to fade. Each one wanting the likings of me to claim. Yet I haven’t in me to live up to expectations that aren’t my own. I just wanna be left the fuck alone. But not really, but I do. I’ve been called many things as I like the solitude of a truce. The pain ain’t worth the memories that repeat in the head. Every time it’s damn near like I fall as if I’m dead. A walking shell that cannot reciprocate an interest. Shit just got old so I’ll keep space between others and my distance. As this is the way I drift off into a peaceful place. In a destined pause that eases with the escape. For a lifetime of never giving in. Knowing relations are nothing but an endless trip. I don’t wanna wave and pretend to be missed. It’s better to be friends until they leave just the same. The irrelevant outcome is always hate. And I’ve had to recreate me after baring my inner makings. There’s nothing here that is willing to adapt to another taking. I turned on me once and it fucked me up. So I came to a conclusion of fuck luv. It’s overrated and only lasts so long. Destroying the contents buried in every beautiful song. I can’t and I won’t. Not when everyone somehow in someway tends to fold. I can’t seem to function to play the part. As I sigh in relief I refuse a kiss that’ll bare a mark…