Lingering on…

I remember the comfort of laying between another’s legs with my head on their lower stomach. And the flavor of a midday lunch. I recollect the skin I enjoyed the most. Not once when it was near did I ever feel alone. And I can recall how it felt to allow my heart to run free. Oh I relive it like it was nothing more than a dream. The way a smile lit up my life to the nasty naughty things I tell no one. Until the day came that I had to admit even I was done. It’s as if they’re trapped in my head. Lost in a thought and left for dead. I feel the shape of curves that awed the beast. There was a great pleasure on me being on my knees. Testing who invited me to open them up. Mmm, it was a must. And the satisfaction of the luv from a luv’r had no limit. At one point in time I found myself breathless. Caught staring in moments that ended too soon. Oh how the tongue did things the way the hips could move. As even the tightest pussy captured my intent. I reminisce a little bit here and there just bcuz I insist. It’s my life and where I’ve been that has created the temptations that at times did and others that didn’t play so fair. And I damn near hate myself bcuz I actually cared. I seen friends awaken before my eyes. Losing each one before I could run and hide. I’ve cried shallow tears and I’ve died inside my very own heart. I had forgot who I was as I had fallen into motionless arms. As the scent of a woman aroused my will to do so much more than daydream. But it was the softness of a touch that set me free. So light I could only wonder after a whole of how it felt when fingerprints leave a mark of hope. I was emotionally paralyzed once upon a time ago. Drifting with the memories tucked away from the pain of gibbering gums. Even though to think of the beauties in which I’ve had my fun. I believe after it all I’ve gone completely numb. Just to go back to snuggle up one more time. Knowing it’ll fade before I thrust the grind. Although I cannot complain for I know who it is I’ve shared pieces of my life with. From the chuckles to the ends that tore slits within. The good times were worth every second spent. For my hands have ravaged the likings of a few that were with the vent. I have lived and I have luv’d. I played with the sounds of sweet lusts. Bonded and broke chains that tugged on what went wrong. As we all have a blink to figure out where we belong. I hold no grudge and I have no hate. I did what I did to the concept that bared them as mates. Made my way through their inner passion and found their vibes. It’s just too bad some never had it in them to truly match mine. Only if is a term I cannot use. Yet, I fondle the imagination of the left overs that gets me in the mood. I can still hear them saying my name in a whisper and that says it all. Even though they had to move on as I emptied the vault. With the gratitude of it being me deep inside. Moving in motion with the satisfaction every so defined. Damn how a kiss lit me up. Anymore I’d rather not press the notion bcuz it tampers with trust. As that in itself calmed the nerve in a certain situation. But even if  it seemed desires was just a lonely infatuation. To be placed in the back of the mind. To become a thing of the past that vividly never lies. I’ve had my fun and I’ve buried myself. Yes I gave my all to fall when I needed help. With compassion I wanted the need of another to live forever. Truth be told relations were like the changing of the weather. From the warmth of breaths on the neck to the heat of feeling so fuckin alive. To the chill the alters the fight into a frozen, why? The ups and downs have fulfilled my days. Looking into eyes on another level that settled the expressions displayed upon the face. Just to wipe off the silliness and return to the real world. Not a one was I able to say was my girl. My fault or theirs in the now I peek back. Realizing I wasted a few chances the way others looked at dating as a draft. Getting close enough to soothe truths in a cuddle made for two. Allowing the configuration of a deeper user tell the truth. And poof! Gone with every tick of the clock clicking in an empty room. The what was eases the eyelids shut. To rekindle the flames that had two bodies curled up and flush. For the sight of what self has seen has been a dream come true. And now I’m on the loose. Unable to redirect who I am in anyone’s direction. I’ve already been too many other’s perfect imperfection. With a palm to embrace a cheek. Then to open handedly feel the sting. As slaps across an azz wasn’t the only one felt. What I can’t remember is the thrill of how I came to melt. Of all things I’d rather not misplace. My eagerness to be involved lacks emotion’s demand to escape…