down the earhole sittin on blasts wow!

Harsh n explosive drownin out all other sound.
Direct contact made down the earhole so round.
Tunnelin n burrowin deep in the heads pound.
Sittin n pickin apart what determination has found.
Words repeat in an echo that volunteers an awe.
Cockin the head sideways tryin to shake a noise so loud.
On blast mutin what can not be shut up by nouns.
Attacked by vowels fallin quickly like fog settlin the clouds.
Ready to be at peace with throwin in the towel.
Attemptin to rid self of all the ridiculous mouths.
Droppin pain in syllables released so utterly fowl.
Tuggin at the expressed emotion from the inside of thy braw.
Changin the face of happiness into what appears to be a frawn.
All at the same time u really think u can pull me down. Wow!

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lettin in the idiots........

Opened doors fillin empty space within.
The crowds hard to figure out with a grin.
So many enterin n exitin whats worth their time.
Shoulders rub the hazard of lettin so many in.
Packed from wall to wall hiddin foes sins.
Sooner or later trouble will definately pop off.
To many egos linger freely for their own cause.
Turnin a good time into a battle to keep the doors open.
N self is at fault givin those of selfsh behavior poisen.
Thinkin every friend is who they say they r.
When actions shows character doin their part.
Inside trust is changin format to keepin me alive.
Hurt by the idiots out to get whats considered mine.
Faces changin in the nights light that tell the truths.
Lies of lips swung as if the saloon door was mute.
Im open for business yet doen sizin for the better bitter cause.
All r the same as they dance away thinkin hold the applause.
The structure of sound that carries past the fun is definin.
Silencin the music poundin at the heart thumpin.
Actin a fool for no appearent reason they smile.
Comin n goin r individuals that last a short while.
Only the lifers sit n stare at the ignorance settin the mood.
Wonderin y the hell some r allowed to enjoy the use.

I wrote this thinkin about how my one that lets so many in to her trust zone n gets the short end of the stick everytime. Jus put a spin on it to create a scene.........its not actually a bar but the heart.

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millions of me in pieces strung out for different reasons to luv u. never simultanious they rapidly fire with ease at the sight of truth. respondin to pleasure in every sense they stand firm for ur use. reactin with a reply to a simple touch from an endless passionate truce. fittin like a puzzle with fragments within urself completin the who. imagine how many emotions cling to u that could never abuse.

Millions of me

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waitin on patience

Puttin in the time waitin on patience.
Divin into worths claimed surveilance.
In it for a lifetime of luvs presentation.
Showin the character of selfs reputation.
Makin waves splashin n crashin down.
Swimmin in her veins length i round.
Back to the thumper beatin elligance.
Moments within time makin the difference.
Slowly earnin emotions given to be known.
Jus for her to reslize i am full grown.
Outlastin a smile in a frame hung.
Madly truly deeply feelin i have won.
In front of a sunset in her eyes.
Side by side watchin each n every tide.
Givin meanin of friendship thats never been seen.
Round the curve of her hearts long awaited dream.
Sailin in the breeze standin as still as a stare.
On our way set adrift as the perfect pair.

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still

The saddest thing of livin with a friend.
Losin the comfort in times end.
Feelin lost sittin ever so still.
Memories clingin to a rearranged thrill.
Moments made suspended behind the eyes.
In a dead stare lookin at frames in a sigh.
Misplace n missin that one like no other.
As a lifetimes cut short without an other.
Empty void left to live in the shadow of luv.
Jus to be felt ine more along side a touch.
Roamin in a half step for purpose is gone.
Fallin from the edge cuz its oh so wrong.
Friendship past comfort no longer embraced.
As someone more than a lover has escaped.
Til death parts becomin the bitter sweet.
Alone with recollection of the hesrt achin weep.
Helpless to the fact that absense consumes.
In the rest of old age sleepin with what came so soon.
Broken inside cravin the sound of ones voice.
The loneliness pains the loss of words deployed.
In the ends where devotion comes to s hault.
Self ramains in another time stuck in a pause.
Where everything stood so still.
Needin n carryin the only thing that still matters that was real....

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use ur head

Gotcha! Now jus like I like.
Don't shy. Speak into the mic.
Gimme vocals. Stretch the chorus.
Use ur head. Its jus us.
That's it. Show ya skills.
From top to bottom. Open ya grill.
Grip the steel. Give game.
Release the point. Finally tamed.

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in between the middle

How can u ask for to much when u don't ask for enough. When's met in the middle surrounded by the edges. Please comes in form beggin for selfs worth cryin out. In between the chips of the hearts stone wedges. For whom is the battle meant for as one fights for face. On point allowin self to be subject to an others intent. Power of relations is a game emptyin the will. Where does one go when the time comes of emotions spent. Is one enough to withstand the test alone in confusion. Lettin all that done or not bein done rule compassion. Pokin holes in the bottom of the guts knowin right. Crossin over beyond limits where there's lack of passion. Unheard as helps abscent in the stable minds callin. Speakin for the one within for its gone that far. As all else has been side stepped for an others own reasonin. Unwillin to put in the work that makes the difference in parts. Hello, can u hear me bleedin away as I drip words. Shuttin down on my own happiness for alone I can not walk. The regret of of a decision for the rest of my life isn't worth it. Yet u hold the key that opened n could lock away my own faults. Clingin to struggle of mutaul grounds somewhere of now. Pain is reversable with a lil bit of interest in a shared life. Where's a level head gettin at the givin n givin something back. Easin the work load that is sliced by the stainless steel knife.

Helpin

N who says anyway is the right way?
When every1 has their own enterpritations.
Who wants to change who?
Failin to unethnical frustrations.
Y is it someone tries to awaken an other?
Helpin them to realize what reallity has to offer.
Who is it that knows more that helps?
When both parties can help one an other.
N how can one be wrong if the mind knows?
Over the heart to understand situations.
How can we learn if lessons aren't put to use?
Through the simplist thing as conversation.
N who's willin to reason with patience?
Accpetin no1 knows everything so young with a head a twirl.
So whom is it that thinks their way is the only?
Not even older folks have been all the way around the world.
Whom is a question asked to untame the minds stubberness.
Levelin a peice of somethin greater than self.
Y we chose to remain right all the time is silly.
When all we need from time to time is a lil help.

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Lemme feel ya

Glide with me n wind up in a frame.
In form groovin to the flow the same.
Closer than friends could ever be.
Release a lil sum sum settin self free.
Slide up on the rythms movin feet.
Make ur presense felt past the moment.
Bouncin into tomorrows bold fix.
Shake a leg with my souls seek.
Movin to our own unique kinda beat.
Dance ur way into space needin tamed.
Lemme feel ya swayin to ur game.

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Movement from the hip down

Together in motion strides step by pairs.
Left right left the walks worth a smile that cares.
Side by side with a friend like no other.
Better with than without a luv that never smothers.
Hands grip the sensitivity along the stroll.
Intensity built for a path yet to be known.
Feet lead the way that the heart guides with direction.
Never trippin one stones thrown that affect perfection.
Sun set relaxin toes that wiggle from the pitter patter.
Wrappin legs in more ways that one is what matters.
Movement from the hip down gettin where goin is.
Windin up in the presense of cuddlin limbs met at the lips.

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Walkin with time

In due time is the understandin of life goin all out.
In time is where the interpritation is heard so loud.
Without words rattlin the knowin in time to come.
Showin in its own time of what's earned not won.
Along side of the learnin when self knows all is only time.
Gettin the point finally made as time allows the mind to guide.
Walkin with time lessons creep with reasons path.
Becomin one with intesion before time claims its wrath.
Its all in the matter of time we grow into maturity.
Yet its how we take the time to listen to the remedy.

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In need

In need to ease my fight.
Somethin please make things right.
Idk what I'm doin.
Or where this life is goin.
In need of comforts ways.
Seekin answers everyday.
Wakin to the riddled man.
I'm failin within my hands.
In need callin to the heavens.
Minds open like seven eleven.
Waitin for a clue jus to help.
What am I to do with even self?
In need of somethin normal.
Sharpened points on the head on a bull.
Ramed n poked by lifes chuckles.
As words go unheard n muffled.
In need I'm fallin apart.
In tact by wills strength that's chard.
Lookin for sonethin but don't know what.
Maybe I ask for to much.....

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Matters flow

Grabbin at the back of the head.
Clawin n diggin rockin on the edge of the bed.
Confused by actions fallin short.
Double sided blade slices the core.
No way to reach the inner snag.
Minds tumblin on what's to be had.
Losin control beneath the eyelids.
Changin emotions in between every flip.
Matters flow fillin creases rustin.
Seems streatch as threads r bustin.
Over ridden by the shuttin of down.
N some how there's a question of how.

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Different ways

As free as the souls can be.
The body sits feelin its dream.
Flyin as high as the spirit can soar.
Grounded physically wantin more.
Roamin the minds opened up.
The bones wanna move with a touch.
Heart taken n claimed by luv's ways.
Yet muscles await movements tamed.
Emotions live n r so alive inside.
As still as the relaxin me fights.
Different ways to get the fix.
Individually findin what's on the list.

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A way

Workin on tomorrows plan to help her once again smile.
Today is where the motions r put together for the extra mile.
Here now in a way lookin forward to wakin to her lonesome side.
Under her wing snug enough to feel the luv is where I reside.
Tryin to make a differencein a way made to ease a relaxin gain.
My time in this moment is a process surrenderin pain.
New ways that giggle satisfaction guarantees best.
Out n about is me gettin to her enjoyment in her chest.
Day in day out findin a way that most of the time is spontaneous.
Knowin my own goofiness is rubbin off for I'm contageous.
Jus givin self in a way so she can find for herself happiness.
N I'm in her sights as laughs forms upoms her sassiness.

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To u

Back to u everytime my day seems to helplessly cave in.
In the comfort of ur arms I'm wrapped n holdin.
There's a luv unbreakable that makes the difference.
Makin sense of this world is u smilin with diliverence.
Ur always right on time when ever I begin to fall in need.
Wippin away emotions runnin on the down side of cheeks.
To u I lean for a piece of mind worth havin in my life.
This is only one of the reasons I had to have u as my wife.

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Where hell will be paid

Out comes truths about the time where hell will be paid.
Drippin from the souls dyin need of fillin its emptyin cave.
In the end as nothins left but words cuttin the abused.
Rage in form where luv has no purpose lightin the fuse.
Eyes changed in a devilish way that two has been lost.
Havin no meanin in the torture breakin silences cause.
Pain reflects time without communication comin undone.
Pulse triggers blows burstin in the veins frustrated grunt.
Crucial conversation loud enough to wake the dead.
With no way to retract what has a slip of the tongue said.
Opposite sides facin down what could never be seen.
Hidden to comfort a lastin emotion worth the dream.
Outside twisted realism conflicts with reasons name.
On the line is put the break fallin suspect to the game.
Never to remain as once was so very joyous to live.
Freinds fade in the moment with yet so much more to give.

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Snitches

Snitches opened mouths tellin all.
Balancin good n evil in the eyes of the law.
Unliked by most earnin stitches formin scars.
Equalizin right from wrong doin their part.
Civil matters gettin the bad caught up.
Away they go off locked in chained cuffs.
Citizens in the struggle of the mix.
Exhausted by the hands of the dumb shit.
Makin life pleasant so surroundins r comfy.
Frawned on by those so crooked their rusty.
Protectin the amendments made by our fathers.
Keepin eyes alert to the outside world carin they bother.
Nosy to others in a game of last man standin.
Dialin up help digits as fingers r landin.
Jus tryin to live within the concreate jungle.
Stayin true to gods way of self righteous's bundle.

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F A M I L Y

Fuck A Member In Lies Youth.
Frustratin A Minds Illusion Left Yellin.
Forgettin Alliances Made Inside Lost Yesterdays.
Freinds Against Mature Intellegence Yelpin.
Fragments Aimed Masterin Irrational Lips Yappin.
Future arrangements misdiredectin lifes Yare.
In between F A M I L Y Lays letters connected explainin........... an obligation!

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Free to drive

Top let down feelin the cool breeze.
Winds blowin releasin she with me.
Down the highway so complete.
Backwards on the seat I relax with her lean.

Wheel tightly gripped with pleasure.
Off we go to find the wonder of whatever.
Under the skies of beautiful weather.
Rollin on to find our spontaneous forever.

Tires snug with the asphalted road.
Hands in the winds endless flow.
Where we're goin we jus don't know.
Tryin to get there we flee extra slow.

Sun sets down upon our day.
A full tank of gas to let us stray.
Free to drive listenin to natures escape.
Shakin loose from society unaffraid.

Radios on with a few favorite tunes.
Smiles a chucklin made for use.
At peace deliverin self to truce.
On a highway to comfort the perfect mood.

Onward creepin along lines disapearin.
Deep in the country I stoped steerin.
Loosenin the squeeze of everyday fearin.
Destination yet to be found nearin.

Where we go time seems to stand still.
In our automoblie lead by the grill.
On a ride driftin on a breath takin thrill.
Windin curves unwindin jus over the hill.

Breaks unused acceleratin into the unknown.
It feels really good to be full grown.
Rubber spins a feel leavin marks shown.
She's by my side I'm never to be alone.

Out of sight at one with life.
N beside me is my wonderful wife.
Everythings at stake of us claimin mine.
Watchin the beauty of sight upon the eyes.

Trunks loaded with our blessed marriage.
Babies flew the coupes rockin carriage.
Raised is ours livin behind in heritage.
Speedin away wavin bye byes we pledged.

Peekin a wink back n forth starin.
To late to turn back from freedom pairin.
Outlasted patience luv we're wearin.
Now its us as emotions r glarin.

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Ends with beginnings

Comin n goin is faces untrusted.
Frames on walls needin to be dusted.
Again n again situations flip flop.
Waitin for it all to finally stop.
At ends with beginnings that never started.
Watchin eyes of the broken hearted.
Times of change that need to remain the same.
Repeated frustartions stall the gain.
Foot down stomped with power.
Lines over ran inflickin a taste so saur.
Drained pockets fail to comply.
Wonderin on why one continues to try.
In words unheard truths r spoken.
Windin up on the other side of hurtin.
Twisted rage fills the empty hollow.
Questions rise defeatin what follows.
Balance of respect jeopordisin freindship.
Emptyin space filled by an others lyin lips.

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Threads freyed

Stories at the ends of ties.
Told in the release of a knots slide.
Realization unbinds relations.
Tellin a tale of age old situations.
History claimed by pasts trail.
Periods of self buildin character.
At the slip findin whats unbareable.
Loosened snug free to take form.
Endin up on opposite sides of a door.
Walkin the path before ever known.
Breakin away from what's been shown.
Threads freyed beyond repair.
As neither party tends to care.
Driftin down the road of blame.
Torched by the heated flame.
Pulled apart for ends to snap.
Gums motionless from the endless flap.
Over comes the start with a sigh.
Jus bein in the mists of tears that decline.

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Last one standin

Last one standin in the immediate line of fire.
Sheildin what's left of luv's untamed desires.
Holdin ground n starin down the irresistable fate.
Stompin on the gasoline lit into risin flames.
Intesity burns the will to the least bit survive.
Is this the turnin point in my over achivin life?
Where a man grows from within the pain.
Damn near outta juice from the unmentionable strain.
Here in the present breaths r deep n heavy.
Boundaries r brushed aside so very easily.
Diggin chests r findin more of the frustrated core.
Opened up to what's on both side of the door.
Last one standin must seem to show they care.
Tongues twisted makes moments utterly unfair.
Protectin luv with the minds unfortunate truths.
Puttin gentleness in words of misunderstood use.
Images of self reshaped by a dyin betrayal.
Chipped n reformed into an others portrayal.
At the point where all hell breaks loose.
Losin a friend callin a most needed truce.
Rises purpose from the hearts unconditional meanin.
I don't wanna be left in the rest of my life dreamin.
Regrettin a decision made rearrangin paths.
Unable to add up a choice with the aftermath.
Last one standin fightin the bettle of creation.
Layed down before us to invent our own reputations.
In eyes that notice the real callin of the souls touch.
Pressed together for a lifetime forever flush.
Led by the guidence mistaken for selfishness.
Hearin filth slanderin names off the lips.
So clear n stated to interupt a beatin heart.
Damagin emotions that have slowly begun to resemble scars.
In the way for a dime a dozen exadurates.
Reinventin self once again as worth fluxuates.
One more time n again its said of how it is.
Y can't one crawl outta her past n losen thy fists?
Last one standin is a man calm in abuse.
Restrainin from the fight of a verbal noose.
Hangin self is unimaginable with what's at stake.
Within I wonder if I can indeed argue the debate.
Only firin back when the level head needs to be heard.
Speakin to the point clearly without a slur.
My own is on unstable grounds that shake.
Wearin an unseen superhuman chokin cape.
Confusion strangles the mindset of certainty.
Not knowin what she's doin cuz she's destroyin me.
Somethin so pure this world has rarely seen.

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Hurt

To be broke.
Letters gag a choke.
With a luv inside.
Collapsin the mind.
Closin up.
Shyin touch.
After givin all.
Inward I crawl.
Down goes me.
Breakin my dream.
Still needin one.
Never close to done.
To shut emotions off.
In a still pause.
Waitin in frame.
Hopin to hold the same.
Pain hurts my face.
Invadin luv's space.
To crack n chip.
Away with lips.
Fightin back for me.
Standin up to be seen.
Final blow slappin sound.
Sting my words r bound.
Holdin tongues flow.
Crackin ever so slow.
To crumble within.
Damaged grin.
Reboundin at best.
Diggin in the chest.
Wantin the luv.
Hidin the fuss.
Rearranged me.
Deletin scenes.
At least tryin.
Drizzlin n cryin.
Holdin in the confusion.
Hearts defusin.
Sizzle stem cut.
Lit again to rush.
Back into ur arms.
To heal the chard. 

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In luv's trim

What is it I do to u?
Why do I remain in use?
Who am I behind ur eyes?
When will I know in time?
Where do I fit in?
I'm watchin the expressions in ur trim.
Who is it I'm suppose to be?
Whats the feelins u seem?
Why the emotional ride?
Where's the meanin u hide?
When has now begun.
Runnin down luv.

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Freinds

I can be ur friend but I might get jealous.
I'm kind of a control freak cuz I can.
For some reason everytime I find a friend.
I tell myself their not as a good of a friend as I am.
No one can take the place of my best friend.
I'm all I have as I have me if u know what I mean.
We're inseperable til the end of never to part.
Me n my buddy me talk about everything endlessly.
I like me so much I don't bother with anyone else.
I know I won't lie to myself ever like if I could.
I'm as true to me n I know it without a doubt.
I'm freinds with me n my friend like I should.
So I'll think about u tryin to become a friend.
But jus know me n my pal is one in the same.
If its me ur interested in imma havta talk to him.
For my bestie is who I am n we r claimed......

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Figure someone

To ask whom one is.
Spoke from the lips.
Shall never be asked.
Lies r an endless task.
To figure one ways.
In actions day to day.
Words never equal the same.
Heard yet seen much different.
To figure it out is suspence.
The fun in the keep.
Of an other so deep.
Time tells a story so fine.
Wait for the moment to unwind.
Realization repeats itself.
Playin the game that's delt.

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A single squiggle

Holdin down a run of letters in a row.
Back to back to back which one knows?
One will be used to start a conversation with self.
A b c all the way to z's end could begin to help.
Jus ones needed to get words arranged.
A single squiggle with a curve to be obtained.
What's to follow falls into place as the tongue rolls.
Constanent or vowel for the moment never put on hold.

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Color laced eyes

The eyes upon me are the one that judge me.
waitin to witness the actions of how stron I can be.
Watchin me break is not an option I can live with.
Suntil the day I die I sling the piles of porin down shit.
Broken shovels make it so fuckin hard to breath.
Searchin for the ends at the bottom of the cheese.
On strike from up in a expoldin stinkin flame.
Waitin its moments unable to be put out in this constant rain.
Soakin clothes that makes it harder to move from the chill.
I dig for the answer to find the last once of will.
With stares I'm claimed by my own untamed character.
Standin alone with peices chippin a lies miracle.
I'm still restless in my head pealin away the sugar coat.
Planted in a mountain that reeks barely afloat.
Within realities reasons of what has been seen.
Surrounded by the waste of lifes untold dream.
A seed sproutin up from the manuer gettin trampled.
Needin a single ray of light to grow as an example.
There r colors that lace the windows of the mind that notice.
Givin purpose beneath the struggle jus tryin to live.
For them my all fightin for them will never hide.

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In an other

In an other some run into.
Forgettin the one who gives them truths.
N memories break from good times.
When the other tries to find a talkin mind.
In someone that makes them feel they matter.
As a friend gets lost in what's not their chatter.
Set aside as miles r put on the heart.
Feelin jus maybe they've come that far.
Where conversation is somewhere else.
Like what the mouth has to say has been delt.
Old n over, needin something new.
Communication breaks down of use.
In an other both turn but only one forced.
Shut out for reasons unknown by vocal chords.
It happens for its the way life works.
Someone is always unable to be heard........

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Scars will form

Under the sharpened edge awaits a cut.
Its gonna happen no matter what.
Holdin on to the need fingers will slip.
Hearts on words always seem to trip.
Beneath the blades dangerous slit.
Held together is clinched with a grip.
Scars will form showin the pasts pain.
Speakin like children of who's to blame.

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The curve of luv

Last time around the curve of luv's case.
For the first time runnin down the face.
Fillin pores over ran by the drippin river.
Chilled jus right to freeze emotions shiver.
Cliff hangin on the edge of ends dangle.
Shoved from the sliddin appearance mangled.

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PLEASURE

P before L followed by E AS its tailed by SURE!
Pieced left to right like a corn stalk gettin licked.
Break it down n look closer to SUR n she has the cure.
Beggin P.L.E.A.S.E. with whats left rubbin on the clit.

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Freindless

Without a single ear to hear me.
I can not be heard nor lean.
Upon a shoulder to listen.
As my word r whistlin.
My deepest pains to laughter.
Freindless I don't believe I matter.
Speakin in silence my mouthdoesnt move.
I rely on my fingers to push me through.
Spreadin lifes way in my time.
In a form as I decline.
The closest people to me ignore it.
Take for granted my on human wish.
In need of someone who cares jus enough.
As I to fall to peices on my crutch.
With a bond of truth that helps my mind.
No conversation avoided as the eyes dry.
My presense in this world is unfelt.
So I keep to myself n don't ask for help.
Yet I'm breakin down n no one knows.
I'm suppose to jus put on a show.
Jus one individaul to give a lil interest.
For my walls r cavin n I'm defensless.
Who's has my back when I need it watched?
Am I alone or am I seein spots?
Smires in a crowd of people who turns away.
Cheeks r all I see damn near everyday.
Losin myself in a battle I can not win.
Tears r beginning to flow from within.
Comfortin my face where a hand should be.
Drownin in hurt in the middle of a dream.
Its so quite outside my own head.
Talkin to the man in the mirror instead.
Feelin completely overlooked in solidtude.
I don't wanna feel n forgot my attitude.
The image I am is only to be seen.
Inside I'm much different than a plead.
But how can I get back from beggin please?
Body aches from puttin in the work.
Blackness coverin the heart from feelin burnt.
The cryin has become a nights release.
I to am guilty of an emotional freeze.
I'm at fault for my own sorrow.
Wish when I awake it will change tomorrow.
I can't find a soul that willin to speak.
Tell me as I do others as they r not weak.
Maybe I'm a loner til the day I die.
That won't even make me feel better tonight.
Strength is deterioratin so fast.
N I don't know when this will pass.
Everyone seems to lack the concept.
Luv is real n if one can accept.
Sittin I nthe corner of my room.
Askin what is it I have to do?
Spent I'm drained n thoughts repeat.
I'm close to what is considered defeat.

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REASON!

As kids we met. Then all of the sudden you were gone. Poof. The wind stole you. I got so lost within so many bad judgment calls. With every decision I had no will. I only cared for my three children that I had along the way. And time kept moving. Until Facebook, January 2010... I came looking for you. And finding you I did. Amazed of what you appeared to become. You were beautiful. You seemed happy with your family. So I backed off for I came searching for a reason. I was single and wanted to know why I thought of you for years. In the next couple of months I felt somthing missing. Even with someone in my life at this point. So I wrote as I do. Letting time slip away from what I would never know. You still married and havikng yhour last child in may you accepted my friend request. Not knowing who I was. Months played out as you scoped my profile, thinking there was something about me. You just didn't know what it was. I tried love for the first time and failed at 33. Then out of the blue there you were as conversation was found. We were like kids when you found out who I was and me knowing I was actually talking to Mandy! I remember when we fell in love. The word was so satisfying and the feelin of completion we felt. Life had finally begun. Starin at the past comin back around. Emotions clingin to one an other. Who would of thought we had a chance. My one in a million taking a moment to find me. It was like it was yesterday. I see u on my couch falling asleep watching me cook for you. So comfortably you and I both knew this was it. Love! True, real love. After a walk on which we both got lost. We found one an other. Jumping in head first and whole hearted we climbed inside each others chests. Found home and didn't care what anyone thought. I remember hearing your voice for the first time in years when you called. The sounds put its mark upon my face that insisted on the rest of the body to follow. So it did. Giving every once of happiness I never got drained catering to you. It did something to me the day we reconnected. November 28, 2010.
Somehow it was spontanious to lunge into the embracing arms that wondered for years. Daydreams of where you went stuck in my mind for so long. And you were here talking in conversation to all people, me. Mandy and Butchie. How sweet the sound even gives my ears a tone so easy to listen to. Over a coarse of days we couldn't get enough. Lost in the joy of standing side by side. Nights spent told us this was our moment. It took less than a month n we were living together. Ready for the world. The giggles. The passion. The desire. All as true as air giving life in between a kiss that I let feeling come undone upon. To touch you gave more purpose than life itself. Everything was so clear for the first time in my life. I had to wed you. Tax money early 2011 I gave you a ring that meant the most to me. A symble of our love. Unseperable we lived within the depths of the deepest peice of our core we could of found. It was fate the way we played and enjoyed our keep for a lifetime. Soon after we moved into a place a bit bigger and not so much us. A trip to cedar point was one memory that will live within me as long as I live. The night before Kings Island we had the big one. Something changed.That's when it all seemed to go in the wrong direction. Miscommunication and lack of understanding plagued our relationship that the heat didn't help a bit with. Falling apart in august of 2011. Two weeks before your own birthday. You took off with your six and I had to move out with my three. It was the worst thing I ever had to endure. Losing my dream to something so silly. Knowing what we had. For two weeks I never gave up and reminded you I was here to stay. Words nibbled on the your love for me. You came around the weekend of your birthday when we found another house more suitable to our lifestyle. All was good for we had what we wanted. One an other. Time ticked and you unraveled from time to time on me. I heard everything I never wanted to hear. Down to the beating heart pausing in a panic.  I seemed to be an asshole misunderstood. Nights out with co-workers, I wasn't invited. Why is still one of those things. I don't know. I felt the need to try even harder. Quietly dying inside. Just to love you did it for me. This happened a few times over. Yet I stood my ground to show you what love could do. May came with a special place kin the heart. The 18th of 2012 clinched our love so tight. We were husband and wife! My efforts that eased from me for you payed off. A returning weekend at cedar point gave us a moment to simply feel the joy. Not long after losing our home we took a blow. Losing memorabilia and materials. Staying in a hotel and family for two weeks. We didn't give up on one an other finding a house. Paying the first months rent and working of the deposite and some cash. We had each other. Falling so deeply in love. Further more and more everyday like never before. We lost two vehicles and ate very little the next few months. October filled the mind. Battered by your tone. Crushing my love. Electric shut off as we scrambled to survive. We were good for each other yet it was falling apart. I was stubburn and you spoiled. The turn of 2013 came and we looked up. Still living side by side. Your health seemed to turn in January but came out you were okay as times were falling hard. You in pain and I struggling to find home. Slowly creeping I gave until I broke. Ik couldn't take you running down the pills. I knew what thdy were for but you were out of reallity. My dream was giving up as I cried like I've never felt pain before. Asking you to forgive me because I couldn't do it. Words speaking, I love you more than you'll ever know. With all my heart and soul. With everything I have to give. With every emotions I weeped appologising after our fight that I couldn't do it. Half asleep and dealing with the pain with meds you needed sleep. So I layed beside you. Holding you. Feeling the one thing that gave me more pleasure than I could ever ask for. My one! And yet I felt I wasn't enough as you were a zombie like mess. I was broken. My dream broke my reality......... Mandy broke my heart again. Thoughts came from our time together as I wanted to be by your side forever. Thoughts that pulled me back to us. In our beginning. Ooh how I thought if we could just get past the hard times and how it all fell apart. It was then I realized what I already knew. I couldn't live without you if I tried. Life wouldn't have the same reason. I didn't know what to do. I felt lost beside my best friend that plays by her own rules. Unable to shake the possibility of us dying before love. Neither of us want to move forward without one an other but I couldn't do it this way. I've given to much of self to wind up watching the end of my love falling to depression and confusion. Your not as head strong as I. But I'm the only one that has ever been as real as lifes gift giving a chance likne no other. What was I to do? Play witness to you demise. Realizing it wasn't me that can help you. I did my best right? Or was to stand by your side with so much on the line with the love of my life. My one. My Mandy! What is it you think I decided when I decided to right this?...... AILOWY! I remember..... do you?

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Some fuckin help!

Dag nabbit. When's it gonna change.
Same ol shit suckin on the gain.
Troublin the minds clearity blurred.
For real? What's goin on behind wotds,
Another day down n repeatin itself.
I jus need a lil bit of some fuckin help.
Def ears blow like the wind straight thru.
Has the heart feelin wtf is the use.
Puzzled I'm confused I'm my state of mind.
On point catchin on to all of the signs.
Nag nag nag broken records I am.
Yet I can't help but to walk like a man.
Stable mindset framed. Its the only way.
Gettin at life every single day.
Stop already. I'm in need of some fuckin help.
I feel I'm far from ever bein felt.
Grown n knowin I have what it takes.
No matter how much bull shit lays on my plate.

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Swellin in rage

Diamond plated steel grawlin with a hunger.
Bendin bars surroundin poundin like thunder.
Release me screams in its moans beneath the surface.
Avoidin contact by all means cuz it hurts less.
Swellin in rage reachin for freedoms reign.
Scars hold together the bloodsheded stains.
Unstable hatred compells behind the eyes.
N through it all the feel is all mine.

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Dead foot

All on ones own, no help from an other.
In ties relapsin, blank face y bother.
Erased emotions, plain n empty settles.
Alone in between kisses, driftin on plucked pettles.
Balance is interrupted, out to find a friend.
Lost within the hollow, all seems to play pretend.
No one is connected, dislodgin gains trial.
In plain sights view, dead foot in a mile.

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Screetch..........

Mangled screetch in a crumbled mess.
Twisted bones snapped from their best.
Taste of blood pours from the pain.
Losin life trapped within muscles strain.
Quick collision never seen comin.
Panic over rides emotions gruntin.
Waitin for help time seems to be lost.
Fightin in a moment stuck in a pause.
Consciousness fades with wills strength.
Closer to the other side with each blink.
Pulse begins to slow the flows race.
Chillin temperauture lowers the rate.
Blackness calls for shortness of breaths.
Deflattin the rise of an empty chest.

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Sizzle

Matches made are created to give unconditionally.
Flicked into a flames burnin desire intentionally.
Sparkin a start of what is to be fates will guided by luv.
Lightin the night n heatin the days of completions trust.
Givin sight to eyes that are blinded by the depths solitude.
Gainin life in the warmth of rearrangin ones attitude.
Struck with a followin sizzle a single strike changes everything.
With this light smoke filters through cracks chokin the same ol thing.

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Amountin to never enough

Never enoughs a weight woundin the mental stability.
Lies turn luv into a sense of frustrations enability.
In retreat the clashin lack of communication differs.
On the short end of the stick from lips that blister.
Bein told the opposin action isn't the way it seems.
Losin focus on reallity over powerin dreams.
Eyes protect with info seen in the cracks of a sway.
Wonderin if the mind has become somewhat tamed.
Flush with a face that hides secrets untold for what.
Endurin every blow struck earnin keeps to the lumps.
Unable to equivulate to what is ones suppose to represent.
Fallin to the endless battle of provin worths moments.
Pourin heart fades incompleted as the feelin is ruined n numb.
Never to amount to the honesty unshared by luv.
Resistance claims the pain as the heart grows cold.
Slowly defeated by impacts that tell the reasons fold.
Pages turnin freinds that do not appear to be real.
Alone n solo at the time that ends breakin steel.

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Coming

Time is patience for its ease coming unwound.
All for the minds thoughts spoken without sound.
Story tellings finest letting loose and pushing along.
Settling the nerves of where one truly belongs.
Now is then in tomorrows past the endless point.
Meeting ends in a window are answers that never void.
Today waits with questions of the tongues twist.
Slowly creeping hiding the tightened clinched fists.
What's to come shall be the way it was meant.
Different than what one knows as of the ongoing recent.
Nights hide from the days as reversed clings.
Bound to catch up to the matters in which will spring.
Connecting confirmations coded quite unique.
It awaits the hands click to strike to feel complete.
Distant and lingering in the winds flowing breeze.
Just out of reach claiming lessons learned to teach.
Getting closer than the tics that overlap upon the clock.
Never giving in until face to face with a dime that's drops.
Coming to know all truths needed to make conversation.
Holiding grounds displaying act of posponed communication.

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Pleasin curlin toes unspread

Carwlin onward, passion is set deep in ur eyes.
What u do, my goodness, u could never hide.
Knees skinned n scrapped, ur so good enjoyin ur game.
So far down below, doin what u havta til the drip is drained.
Playin n feedin in, fantasies fulfilled come to a head.
Puttin in the work, pleasin curlin toes unspread.
At one with the reaction, blow time away is fun.
Filled n stuff, words r moans vibratin a numb.
I watch as u havta have it, deep in ur throat.
Chokin ur fantasies, gaggin a thrustin poke.
Eye liner runnin, drippin in a stream from the sweat.
Irresistabe tongue, roundin a bone that's fetched.
Slobber made to slide, my nerves r comin undone.
Bound n satisfied, I wiggle for the suckins won.
Tasty gush eruptin, lips feel the warmths grind.
Lovin ur practice, gettin better each time.
Ur so damn good, now release me from my restraints.
Imma give u what's u got commin startin with a spank.

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On the backside of jill

Over n beyond bent n leanin on a tree upon a hill.
Jack got his when he climbed on the backside of jill.
Dirty lil secrets played out as she took him whole.
He had his way with her sweet juciy drippin filled hole.
Screamin jill gasped for air n moaned so very nice.
She allowed her freak to come out n got fucked jus right.
Pants around jacks ankles jills dress pulled up past her thighs.
Panties dropped under the shade hiddin from the heats sunshine.
Long strokes penitrated past her lips in a peek a boo game.
Deep enough to flush away the hormones drivin her insane.
Pounded hard he spoke filth guidin in her untamed ear.
Bringin forth jills fantasies n smackin her ass causin sexual tears.
Slidin a slip inside her tissue like treasure jacks burst came.
Pullin her hair n callin her all sorts of desireable names.
Explodin jill got it like she had never had dreamed before.
Earnin jack a place within the depths of her misbehavin core.

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In the mix

Under to the deep meditations restin place.
Away from opposites that clash everyday.
Slippin further mindsets change n is free.
Illusions r as real as a tramplin stampeed.
In the mix of of strangers standin alone.
Within the colonies individualism that roams.
Together on a concrete pavement as strangers.
Beneath the shade of urbans jungle dangers.
Differences step in every upbeat direction.
Circlin vultures stare with a scensin detection.
Eyes roll the head spinnin out of control.
Tryin to get far from a civilized pavments toll.
Driftin thoughts r on the edges end.
Shoulders bump as avoidance bends.
Turnin the bodies frame around about facin hesitance.
Pushed careless through the sea like crowds resistance.
Walls of stone surround the presense of times.
Inward retractin statements blurtin out lines.
Rude disbelief strolls on a sidewalk bein stomped.
Crossin intersections hurryin to win what's faught.
Survival in a maze forcin ignorance of selfishness.
The core slides sideways of somethin feelin less.
Standin ground n shufflin feet keepin up to speed.
Givin as taken jus to get to owns righteous dreams.
Behind the truths of selfs actions changin within.
Adaptin to reality of the mess topped with gold trim.
The need of more scatters comforts phase comin undone.
Gettin a piece of a percentage is for which we lunge.

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Changin me

Searched from the inside out.
Tryin to figure out what I'm about.
Peekin in when not payin attention.
Findin my own misdirections.
Changin coarse for its needed.
Self becomin whole when depleted.
Diggin in n watchin selfs attractions.
Jumpin in with interactions.
Loosenin the grip growin up.
Allowin me to feel a thump.
Learnin n teachin I'm my own best friend.
Patiently gettin to whom I was meant.

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Thump thump

Thump thump. Thump thump.
From my chest spilled like rum.
Double beats excellerates fate.
Buzzin emotions vibe a rate.
Boomin sound stretches to escape.
Deep from the hearts space.
Explodin passion lettin loose.
Rivits swim for ur use.
Ripplin waves set to sail.
Hangin over the edges rails.
Floatin behind an endless flow.
Pounds the motor of luv known.
Splashin moves the movement.
Bangin with water slapped improvement.
Down river without a paddle.
Strokin on a backstrokes saddle.
Thump thump. Thump thump.
U give good luv.

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Straight atcha

Yeah I did it to u.
I purposely gave u proof.
How do u like my way.
Now u havta live with it everyday.
Uh huh it was all me.
Openin ur eye to the scene.
Givin purpose to ur wonders.
All because u asked of a lover.
It is I that changed ur face.
Expressin luv n the way it tastes.
I take blame its all my fault.
N I meant to throw my heart at u ever so soft.
I gave u reason in the way I stand.
Directin emotions comin from this man.
N I found a giggle when it was sent.
Because I enjoyed watchin u bend.
I meant to see how u would respond.
All with a magical wond.
All that was needed was a chance to share.
N a prayer to pause u long enough to care.
Point ur finger, its ok interest I've shown.
Jus to witness u realize ur not alone.
Comin undone I enjoy who u r.
Can u blame me, u unlocked my bars.
So i had to do it for I couldn't help myself.
We both needed a bit of help.
Ur jus gonna havta accept my ways.
As I do urs day to day.

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One precious need

Ur all I needed to get away.
To step away from my endless days.
Far away into another time.
So far steppin in stride.
Ur the one needed for me.
The only one that's fulfilled my dreams.
A one of a kind, a livin luv.
Ur a kind sweet sway swept with a touch.
Down to ur gifts that blows my mind.
Indiviual gifts in which I can not hide.
U r a precious gift sent to set me free.
Pullin me from where I need not be is u my precious.

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Luvin attention

Wet sheets sinkin in.
Lips leak drippin grin.
Easy touch rubbin walls.
Showin luv moanin calls.
Diggin in tastin pleasure.
Stretched thin findin treasure.
Flickin tongue on the run.
Flattened rub now u come.
Gettin head over flowin.
Grippin bed now I'm growin.
Inside slow deep penitration.
Filled whole without complications.
Long strokes claimin gasps.
Hands grope landin grabs.
Nails dig draggin scratch.
Really big never matched.
Throat choked givin all.
Pinky poked drippin balls.
Climax delivered releasin tension.
Orgasm triggered luvin attention.

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The victories urs

Roll with me.   Playfully romp.
Tickle tickle a goochie goo.   Bottom to top.
Top to bottom.   Over n under.
Enjoy ur time.   As the night gets funner.
Pin a win.   The victories urs.
Heat the moment.   Leakin from pores.
Over powered I'll give a fight.   Hold ur ground.
Ur in control.   Forcin out my chucklin sounds.

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Its u i crave

All of it, down to ur unseen crevices.
Every inch, u have my repectable services.
I need u bad, it makes me mmmmmmm.
Ur cherished rythm thumps with luv.
Lettin loose is emotions claimed by u.
I got intensions bein put to use.
I'm here at ur worst to gain ur best.
In ur heart im sunk in ur treasure chest.
I'm so far gone beyond words sprung from lips.
All from a taste given from ur kiss.
Proovin me, its u I choose.
My one, my only, I'm owned by u!
To the last drop of luv in yrs to come.
Til lifes gift takes me away, as my time done.
Its u I crave, always have n always will.
So listen to these words as they spill.
Their out for recognition to be handled.
Alone with u n sweet scented lit candles.
The complete package, yes u r.
Ur smile is the key to my willin heart.
I havta have ur smooth presense, here.
Sharin a compellation of acceptance in fallin tears.
Follow my movement, sway with ease.
For the comfort of us, I beg u please.
Tendin to ur needs, I bend n cave.
N if u want, I promise I'll badly behave.............

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