on my way

i looked and waited, yet played in the meantime.
walked alone and with another working, i never visualized.
stood still long enough to keep things moving.
i fell once to show i knew how to love and it was soothing.
selfish intentions grew within knowing it would end.
always searching for that one i never thought imagined.
true to only self, i lied to ease my own pain.
telling fibs of a love i did not share, for it was my life to be tamed.
playing a self centered game of it's all about me.
trying to find my groove to lay low and live a love so free.
i am human and been on both sides of love as it time and time again came back to never.
i damn near got broke once, yet i surfaced stronger than ever.
more clearer than i was the day before i learned.
been three strikes and out and never to return.
i was a man consumed by a woman's sexual touch.
asshole was my middle name numerous times over and such.
cheating my way along as i gave them all my manly given talents of lust.
waking up i found myself wanting more than i was giving, somewhere along the lines of trust.
i left a bad place in time and re-amerged a man sometime later.
tried out a few lovers that went bye bye as memories fade with her.
one in which i could feel and another i gave my heart.
yet coming out of the storm as the rain cut loose and given a fresh start.
i was sent someone i've dreamed of to the present day.
i am mearly a man and that is more than i was yesterday.
growing, i reinvent me as i learned from my past.
now true to someone other than self at last.
i can sleep knowing i found my groove on the other side of lust.
it wasn't long ago i gave a real attempt at love.
and i to fell short even though it should have never been more than a....
i felt one other the way i do now but this one i have is so much better than a...
to compare them she would win by far.
my all time favorite one of all that i've come across earning scars.
so i guess i've only loved one til now.
making it two with a possible that never got off the ground.
and as i sit and confront feelings that i've experienced in my time.
i realize i'v found the perfect woman for me that fills me inside.
seems i had to do a few things before i was allowed to have her as my wife.
showing the man within has helped complete happiness in my life.
finding him has shown i am the man i want to become without a doubt.
and it is noticed everyday i awaken to a beauty in and out.
i am in a groove in love, with my one.
far from the man i claimed i was.