Respect me...

Don't ever tell me goodbye. And don't even play like your leaving me. The forgiveness will never find you skipping away. You just won't exist to my wants and needs. And if I give you my heart know I trust that much. As I'll have to ask for it back before I can move on. But that'll be something that I'll be forced into. So, just accept me as a norm. Or like the wind you can blow onto the next man all you want. I'm the type to never get bent outta shape or even get mad whatsoever. I like knowing the facts and acknowledge not just anything will last. To be more than a lover craving to be together forever. That sounds as funny as you'll havta be a lil more clever. That shit ain't all it's made up to be. I've already made it past that phase. And no, I don't ever wanna win. Just be, live, breathe, again and again. Quick fixes ain't a game played without the knowing of touch is all there will ever be. If that's what you are, I'll consider the interest intended. But be direct if it's the digging of emotions you seek. Bcuz I've been around corners and bends that lead me to the now of standing here, unfriended. I don't say goodbye unless I consider you dead. Useless to what's going on in my life. If I havta come back to this point of having this conversation with someone else, you won't be in my head. I'll have a clear mind. So, choose wisely of how you wanna go about this. Think and get back to me if you must. Just don't be surprised if I don't entertain what comes from your lips. Bcuz, in this moment you should know to speak on something we both can trust...

Damn it…

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Heeey! What are you doing?

Me, really?

Is that this weekend?

Nice.

I don’t know. I can try to make it, but I can’t promise anything.

Alright.

Sounds good.

Later.

(click)…

Damn it. I believe she likes me. I hear it in her sighs as she breathes. So why not just go have some fun? Just go feel the sun. Call her back up and tell her, "yes". Don’t leave her to wonder like she’s second best. Nah. I can’t lead her along. Why do they always get attached? Why is it always so very fast? I should go but I know. I prolly won’t. And what if I don’t? I don’t wanna be chased. It just ain’t fair to the way her smile stretches across her face. Damn it, give in for once! Quit being afraid of a friendship leading to luv. 

(silence)

She’s gonna get away if I don’t give her a lil attention craved. Why must I save myself from the eventual pain? 

(phone in hand)

She’ll forget me soon enough. I’d rather her find someone worth her opening up. I ain’t no one she truly wants to know. Just a fixation of someone she’s soon to have known. Yeah, I'm not accepting the invite bcuz it will help her settle the interest. That way I’m not a tingle lingering in her chest. It's ok. It’s the way it hasta be. But damn it if I don’t enjoy life when she’s near to me.

(putting phone down)

What do I do? How many times have I side stepped a woo? I can’t keep doing this every time someone wants to get close. Just go! Why not her? It’s not always gonna be people taking turns. Fuck it, just create some space. Just walk away. Do that shit you’re famous for. Miss out on the joy of wanting more. But don’t blame anyone else when all the good ones are done. Bcuz you know you’re dead wrong.

"Damn it!!!"

Again, with this shit. With the tugging of the possibilities that conflict with my norm that feels the twist. How many faces will it take? How many bodies will be felt before there’s a comfort in their name? Honestly speaking, I could give her a chance. But that wouldn’t be me to bow down to romance. And I don’t wanna go that far back in so why even entertain the thoughts going through my head? Maybe bcuz she’s more than a good time wanting her pussy fed.

(picking the phone up)

###-####…

But what if? Fuck! Is this? Nah, it's just a bit of fun. Loosen up and go. No. Let another fulfill that crave she longs to have in a friend to be more. I'm not opening that door. Not even if I allow my chance to be in her days. Talking through her nights until sleep rests her face. Alright, now I'm thinking about it a lil too much. Digging too deep like it could actually become luv. But how many good ones have I let get by me at this stage in my life? Yeah, but females ain't just asking any ol lame to spend some time. It's always something else they're wanting to witness in a man. So, what! Don't pass up on another one again. Surprise her and show up. Just don't fuck. Don't feed into lusts that lead her to bare herself. And at no point give her a reason to wanna think you're avoiding her bcuz she wants to be felt.

(sigh)

Only if she knew that I do wanna enjoy some time outside my head. Without the strings moving the contents within my chest. Damn it. I could use a moment to unwind and breathe. But, I. I'm not someone that belongs in her dreams. I'm not what she thinks I am. I'm a lil different than the average man. There's no way conversation could be as open minded as I have come to be. I've never met anyone like me. But is that why I'm going over and over this when no one else is around? Talking to myself out loud. Or is it, she got to the point of interest, and I cannot help but to consider her invention to mingle for a bit? I wish I could just hear where she's coming from her own intent.

(pausing and thoughtless)

IDK. Maybe if I knew. It would be nice to put unused time to use...

honestly speaking...

There are things a man gets used to once he opens up. Unspoken mentions of truths that move barriers from the depths of what could be luv. As the silence in his voice is the proof loosened up by expressions unable to hide. With a tongue that whispers so smooth to speak straight to a woman's mind. It's in these moments where he gets exposed the most. And if she isn't aware of the makings of a man, she'll in her own miss him reaching for a friend so he too isn't alone. There are tell all's that finely detail the presence of a man's intent. Shown with look in the eyes that simplifies his emotional defense. The guard crumbles into pieces slowly to allow his use to feel the sensitivity of a woman touching his skin. Taking the burden of a world so abrupt the furthest from his thoughts. It's when she creates a peace within him is when he can confide in her as he can comfortably surface to be seen without applause. In raw form, just living in a space two can share until time runs its course. And without saying a thing, it'll forever be something special to the point of always wanting more. There are glimpses of how a man shows imperfection that quietly define his own unique design. Giving a certain type of female an interest that wonders of his sighs. The kind that are caught up in the waiting for someone exclusive. Just so he can truly live. Just to breathe without ridicule. Too be wrapped up in a crave with a luv'r who isn't so cruel. Proving daily that actions are what they are. Witness to consistency that matters in attempting to coexist with another who comprehends there's more to relations that that of the untamable heart. There are many things women miss in a man's delivery due too they believe they know what a man is. The facts though correct the stillness that constrict a gal's intuition to accept a man in the way he finds a genuine tickle in the ribs. Men do not know a woman in and out but are willing to see one come from the hidden realm of her own. Likewise, she needs to ease back and adjust to his dominance to lead a home. The security in the balance is in the softness of a woman and the grit of a man. There are things that must take place as roles are filled so the nights can experience bodies that land. So, in the awakening to the sun coming back around, the have a chance to be. Knowing a man cannot be controlled or belittled without repercussions of turning away. As he acknowledges to never betray her honesty that's deserving of luv's soothe stretched across her face. For he knows not of what a woman's inner makings. Portrayed is self with no claim to entertain the confusion of genders lost in the faking. Motion settles only to rest in the safety of arms. It's the small things that build common grounds that play unselfishly with charm...