Sitting still…

Sitting around wishing you’d call. Deep under the influence as I fall. I’m behind closed doors again wanting to talk. But your home. What a loss. Your voice would make a difference right now. Just to hear you speak a sound. Oh wow! How I need you to tell me that of me you’re proud. As tears found me earlier today. Sitting still in my car dripping from my face. Craving your laugh to help me feel safe. Mama, I miss the way you made everything feel like there just wasn’t a thing called pain. Like waking up was gonna last forever. And since you’ve been gone it’s an all my fault. It be nice for once if time would pause. Bcuz the way I looked to you I have three looking at me and all my flaws. As strength somehow finds its way to show up when I need it the most. Even though at times in love I felt so fuckin alone. But I set myself in your vision as I’ve finally made it home. Sitting here in another version of your very own clone…

Into the distance…

Run. Keep moving. Set adrift if you must. Life will follow you in your choosing. It’ memories live in your head as everything comes back around. After the new wears off and the night consumes sounds. Once time remembers where life went and wound up. When running outta thoughts to cover up what was tatters what the tongue put on hush. Go. Create a reality that forgets as if it can. Age will catch you as who you are you will never understand. Losing pieces along the way. Replacing details behind the eyes that change expressions on the face. With every glitch that forces self to return in a solo sense. Alone time will be every so intense. Reminiscing over different places the heart drifted off too. Chasing a dream craved by all means. When you quick to adjust to a fresh start I’d stick a treat. Soon enough you’ll look back and realize what you left behind. For someone else to come along and find…

Belonging within…

Being a part of something is not a norm for a solo artists. From the other side looking over for a reason to be is the hardest. It’s the feeling of not belonging that soothes the beast. Keeping even relations at the far ends of thrills that are cheap. There’s an emptiness that keeps the inner workings of the mind safe. A presence of knowing commitments are to self that simply isn’t subjected to hate. As luv turns ugly in eventual moments yet to be. Forcing eyes to look into another  ever so deep. The outsider. The misfit. The black sheep. The nitwit. Different from the heard moving in motion that doesn’t make sense. Pointless is adjusting to the chaos of mindless emotion all while awaiting the painful suspense. The break just isn’t worth the loss of memory that replaces life with gaps. Always and forever sticking to the facts. So to remain on one’s own is the only pure mindful way to live. Setting aside the details of what an individual truly has to give. When it’s the happiness within that thrives needing no one to participate on a daily. The calm is the key that unlocks worth that’s never half azzed or lazy. To be in true form is the joy of existence doing whatever comes about. Without restraints to restrict words coming from the mouth. Free in one’s own natural state shall be the reality of the center of the universe. Knowing self is truly alone and unattached to the attraction of another’s body’s physical curves. Present is the thought process of obtaining the inner friend. One can only partake in actions along the way until it all comes to an end. Never to be a member of ownership when it’s an affiliation at best. Who we are is how we are contained within our own chests…