My girl...

Whenever u come around something within me moves. So please don't go... It's too fuckin hard trying to find someone like u... I'm not begging I just know the struggle of solitude can do... Especially after coming across someone like yourself that works me loose... It's rare n it's something craved in the silence when behind closed doors... So stay n see where life will go bcuz i want more... I'm willing to open up if u truly are who u appear to be... Bcuz i know if u are real what i have to give is free... We can go back to ur place if you'd like... Where doesn't matter as long as ur close as i continue my life... I could use a individual with ur demeanor allowing me to feel not only ur skin... I want in as deep as i can go as we sink... To share a friendship unlike anything I've ever known... Truth is i don't wanna havta leave u the fuck alone... To lay by ur side n awaken next you u would just be nice... I could get used to the thought of u coming around on the outside of my mind... My arms aren't for jus anyone to land in... N I've been waiting patiently for a raw sense of humor laughing to live... So feel me as i press myself up against ur world... I know ur grown but I'd like to call u my girl...

When it's over...

 Once it doesn't hurt anymore the chuckle begins its changes... The numb wares off n the face rearranges..  After the pain can't be felt trying to remain a factor to live by... Somehow we all return bank to life with a different state of mind... As even thoughts switch up what lingers on the head... Allowing old memories to finally go more than play dead... When sighs reach a comfort of relief aa if the visions have been removed... The lost awakens to a survival privilege earned defining who's who... In a moment where the lips have forgotten the need in perversions tasted by the tongue... One comes full circle back to the precision of self having a better understanding of luv... After the affects ware off of the heart truths are invited to enjoy time... Living with a stillness of peace. Within the individual unable to hide... Knowing they'd have nothing left to hold on to from a prior endangerment... Eyes open to witness the options of possible engagements gaining pavement... With the first morning of a true fresh start the mirror can rest at last... Yet the friend in the visual is a reflection of growth needed to adapt to laugh...

Trapped within...

I'm down here. I need help.

Throw a rope.  I promise I won't hurt myself.

Are u listening? Can u hear me?

I want out. Please!

It's empty this deep. Eyes are all dried up.

Just tears of life. Wasting in the pits I'm shoved.

There's no one to fight anymore. I'm alone.

All the pieces are dull. This ain't home.

I've tried to dig. But the edge got further away.

The higher it went the lower I buried the pain.

Now there's just a hole. A void.

My echos bounce. Someone, hello, I'm paranoid.

I'm All there's left. I've forgotten the sounds of the voices screams.

Head is hollow. Heart just wants to be free.

This far beneath the surface makes it difficult to breathe.

I'm ready to go. Past my moment to leave.

I think I've done my time. I believe I'm better now.

Fill the creator. Lemme swim or drown.

I can't stay here. The solitude it too much.

Depression is my only friend. I just wanna be luv'd.

Is there anyone echo cares? Willing to relate.

Don't r.i.p. me just yet. My tombstone needs not the sealing of fate.

As the silence is so loud. In the dark is where I've been found.

Toss me some hope. I'll climb right up.

This is a lonely death. I want who I once was.

Shovel me a lil dirt.  I need another a chance.

I'm more than this. Please, just give a damn.

I can't touch the top. I've fallen too far.

My walls are closing in. I mean u no harm.

In the trenches i reside... Solo n roting.

Lend a hand. The end is plotting.

I don't have long. Get me outta this place.

Save me. Change the expression upon my face.

I have reason. I'm sick of the dwelling.

Hello! I know u can hear me yelling.

I'm not the same. I'm worthy of a cause.

Alive is what I crave. Never again to be lost.

Bring me back from this fade. Take me with u.

I'm inside of this monster. Trapped within.

I cannot move. I'm afraid I'll never be seen again...

Disregarded...

 Tears never fall from their eyes... Not once did they ever feel at fault... Maybe it's because we man noting to them... Like some drifter lost along the way collecting flaws... As the pain left behind slowly tares at the heart... Helping luv deteriorate from the inside out... Showing us how we were to peel them from our smiles... Creating a wound to bleed by thy tongue that caters to the sound... They refuse to acknowledge what they simply cannot admit... Not once turning around to comfort a friend that was there for them to take advantage of... With emotion dying they could care less of what happens to us... The loyal ones who are willing to give a lil bit of self to better another for a chance at trust... Yet the betrayal speaks of words unmentioned in shared moments that mean nothing at all... We're no more than a blink until the next stranger comes along... No one ever wants anything but the chase of something that's somehow better... N it makes it difficult to believe in anywhere to belong... From hi to goodbye the memories were a false presence yet to tell the truth... Causing a bitterness provoked when an honest convo woulda eased the mind... Though for some reason they like it when the hurt takes control... I must be a power trip to hear us being torn from our lives... To be curved to alter realities unwanted for we had the one we wanted so we thought... As time gives us a change that defines a guarded fear... Constantly asking self if anyone is truly interested in a passion so raw... A desire barely touched by hands yet to be molded into something rare... They destroy our hopes n shatter our dreams... Use is against ourselves until there's nothing left... N like magic their gone the save way they came in, yeah, they leave...

U know what u are too me...

 To pin u against a wall n work my way down through ur moans... Suckin n kissin on ur body until i taste the way u across me as ur one... The intensity of the crave to feel u move makes me hungry asf... To spin u around n slide in to ur gasps wantin to cum to my pulsating rush... Oh the feeling of u wrapped around me as i reach around u to grip ur throat as it's u i need... Forcing ur head back so our lips meet to feel breathes in perfect sync... Having my way n annoying how u react to me doin as i please... Jut to throw u on the bed n go back down on u with ur legs spread to bee seen... In a take me mood where u say fuck me hard... I'm weakened by u as my kryptonite allowing me to savagely play with ur heart... In a moment in which we roll around trying to move with the way the bed rocks... Sliding down n grinding out an orgasm that jus won't stop... Cum for me baby... Get that shit as u luv to hate me... Fuck yeah, feel it deep within u as u explode to the motions freeze... N i flip u to lick u softly jus to ready u with my tongues twirl on the loose... Having one more round so u can feel me gush to the rotation of ur hips in tune with my grins grove... To stroke u with a thrust of pleasure until i cannot handle the feel of u any more... As i bust n growl with a grunt wondering how in the fuck we wound up on the floor... To hear u chuckle n look up at me lookin down on u as I'm still inside of u... Knowing u know what u are too me as real passion is put to use...

Dead man walking...

The feeling of failure drives the mind insane... Drilled into thoughts gathered is a use put into place... There is no deoending on an other for their actions one cannot control... As there's just no gauranteed  to believe in building a every lasting home... When the heart has been let down by damn near everyone that's gave a memoir to life... Retracting is a better option so a sure thing is more than a hype... With a lacking of trust that someone can grasp how emotion is second nature to the survival mode... Relying on self is the bitter end of difficulty cutting the lace edges off of a lil thing called hope... In a solo act taking on a world filled with words that need to be hushed... There is no catering to anything other than staying course usable to feel any type of rush... For the only thing that resembles joy is succeeding with one step at a time... Doin it alone so things will for once evolve at some point somewhere in the middle of a forever grind... Living in moments that do not resemble others versiin of normal is the hardest part... Tbe sacrificestirs depths wanting to die when seeks never meant anyone any harm... As reality is an unreal mindset stuck in gear demanding a chance to somehow come back to around to smiling again... Bcuz behind closed doors there's a never ending eagerness to make it with only two hands... Keeping everyone at arms length due to self is afraid to lose another round... N tgat in it's own makes touch so foreign the skin clings to the breeze that rarely makes a sound... It's like finding self hypnotized by racing to the edge before it's all said n done... Attempting to manage a way joy hasn't a worry if ever things changed to allow a like to sink into luv... The struggle is merely the shield protecting all things along the way... Calming how petrified goin down claims pouring tears try desperately not to hate... One simply cannot afford to hit the bottom by an other's doin... So there is no significance in a familiar face wondering where self is goin... Chuckles rain on curiosities reaching for a piece to reason with a sigh... As self turns a check so lips do not meet staring into another set of lying eyes... Willing to do it without the comfort of passion just so everything stays intact... Watching days pass with an ache that could use a lil more than what's been known I the past...

Discarded...

 How does it feel when someone doesn't luv u bank.?. When u havta leave all the memories in a broken fickin past... Is it u believe if u tru a lil harder they'll see u did who u are.?. N yet everyday u fade from self worth as time tics away with the pain gathered in the heart... Yipping out the hope to be with the one it cannot refuse... Eventually not being able to shrug off the disregard so disrespectful tears endure the abuse... As if there's something wrong with ur friendship waiting on their end to decide who'll it is u are too them... Creatimg thoughts said to be crazy n besides the point of intentions hiding behind eyes lost in a so caked gem... When touch is a lil different due to the frustration of losingout on life... Can u comprehend before is too that tha they couldcare less if u live or die.?. It's real n then the delusions settle into the mine... As emotions take commit control n fight to survive a battle u cannot win... Have u ever say alone in a dark room trying to hold it together prior to an end comin.?. How'd the struggle change ur mindset when the cut dug deep enough to kill u while u we're still alive... As they snile n watch u fall from who u truly are... Having everything about ur world torn completely apart... Did u ever think you'd amount to nothing once ur vulnerable side allowed sensitivities to thrive... Did it take u long toconvince yourself to confront the issues I which they lie.?. N have u ever felt the blame placed upon ur shoulders that was too heavy to carry alone...  When the last time u thought of where in the fuck is home.?. As the helpless dwell consumes pieces that makeup the design of luv under attack... Drifting from where self belongs when hands aren't held in a grasp... Did u loose yourself in the makings of a future that had to chanc as u had to adapt.?. Tell me what is was u did to deserve chuckles directed to hurt the puritt in ur laugh... Have u let go even though u remember it like it was jus yesterday.?. U adding the onmy once you ressurect yourself from the rubble scattered in millions of opposing directions to be claimed...

Lil thought...

 It's the confiding part when sinking secrets of ones own design into another...

That's the issue that cannot be trusted in the palms of unknown hands...

Though details are the key to knowing someone in a world that cares for nothing but itself...

N even if one's gotta determine if within another there's a deeper depths than the shallows so self can truly land...

Over thinking...

 Been goin back n forth with the thought of hmm... N yet with so much to consider before ever getting to emotions i keep coming up with nah... Faces find sights n words go unspoken due to a splash of details that claim who it is i am... Though the imagination caters to different situations where others stroke the curiosity of how the mingle would find a chuckle of hahas... As life keeps moving for there's things that need to be done... As the mind drifts of an unknown friend when time spent alone has overlapped into the more lingering nights that calm the nerve... Yet, time sleeps with the empty heart as if there's something missing where toes can't reach the bottom... Needless to say i have luv for self but i believe hope still clings to a more subtle worth...

At the edge of change...

N what if time was letting go.?. Releasing me from my solitude where I've spent so many yrs alone... N if the heart was winning the battle... Not caring of the loose thoughts in the head that rattles... Damn near feeling a closure to a lifestyle that needs a change... What if i was curious to the feel of ur name.?. Touching my lips n shaped by my tongue... If i were stepping out to take a chance to trust... At the gates of the chest jus wanting to know ours safe to take a stroll... Would it be cool if we jus talked within respectful tones.?. Bcuz i juts might be at the edge of wonder to wanting to sink into an embrace... That is if lives line up when we invade each others space... So if i were to say hey jus once... To see how smiles would curve to the sound of likes lacing into luv... Is there any hope that ur anything like me.?. Able to live free n on ur own breathe... Bcuz an if is bigger than a lil two letter word... N the power of a moment could mean the difference in actual worth... As hands are remembered as the soothe that creates sighs caressing the skin... What if i could truly use a friend.?. If u knew i was real n did my time on my own... Learning of who i am si i know who would better me in a special place called home... Jus think for a second of if i were honestly coming back to life... Of all the raw depths that is anxious to give me as mine... If i was standing at the line teetering back n forth on the possibilities before me... Do u believe you'd be willing to get in my way n become more than a dream.?. With every motion on point with the way i move... Being the one in my eyes feeling me through... Reaching in to accept pure intent that has awaited a mate... Would u be brave enough to show ur face.?. If i had no baggage or loose ends attaching me to some bs yet to come forth... If i stood as me jus needing someone to want me more... In a present mindset done with the single life... Could u find it in u to no longer be jus a silhouette in my mind.?.

In depths...

How deep would i settle in ur eyes if u thought of possibly losing me.?. Would ur tears build at the edge of a new found life in which i didn't exist.?. N where in ur heart do i fit in to ur comforts if i vanished from ur dreams.?. I'd like to know if I'd be missed if there were no us felt within grips... So is the feeling real enough to imagine hope fading in a moment to specify truths.?. Will a void create a worth that digs beneath the norm of who we are.?. Recharging the serge to never bring forgotten by a friend... Where's the switch to turn off the doubt that occurs in time to come that triggers alarms... Do i keep goin without u or is there a depths for me to swim in.?. I ask for I've held hands with strangers who drifted back into this crazy world... As I'd enjoy seeing the fear of ur passion slipping away... As a twisted certification where u cannot hide that for me there's no other girl... Staring me down the way what matters is having me close enough to be able to touch... Is there a soothe in even bringing up my interest of my own use.?. Giving u a piece of my mind so we're on the same page... Bcuz without u, i wouldn't know what to do...