s there I sit

Lookin down n I see a pulse reaching for my mind.
Yet I don't understand why it doesn't bleed when I cry.
Maybe its jus not my time to end what's been given.
N a thought rises with my eyes lookin back at the livin.
As I can feel the thump running under within the veins that r bent.
I question the answer that i can't be my own friend.
How in the hell did I wind up turning on due time.
I cringed at the notion of what's never gonna be mine.
Over achieving is my motto above all comin up short.
Yet a step forward is two in the rear way off course.
There's a slow shift counter clockwise in my head.
As I peek in on what can possibly be next.
Failin to live comfortable I stare in silence.
Endin each n every good thought with endless violence.
Forcin the veins to pump for a way to make it.
As the heart feels the weight of the same ol shit.
Who am I in eyes that snap a glimpse of what I can not do?
Seems deadlines r met jus to allow me to be proof.
I'm never gonna reach the other side where life is at ease.
So here I sit jus a man left with my dreams.

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