Livin in fear

Scared of luv walkin down the front door.
Maybe me on the other side without my own core.
Left sittin in the madness lost in her eyes.
As I'm rejectin emotions that fear another life.
Somewhere in a changed atmosphere shuttin down.
Without the truest one I've given my cloud.
I trimble from the futures untold side of home.
Will the lock keep me from dreamin til I'm old.
My bones shake a silent chatter that aches.
The clock awaits for memories to be saved.
Thinkin im lookin through the windows of my life.
What is possible to be once mine as my wife.
Its not my choice to remain for I am here for a reason.
I'm jus patient to see what is to come season to season.....
N I'm losin my mind before my own knowin.
Yet its actions of the face repeatin the showin.
Cuttin like air whippin through the skin.
Am I here for as long as she remembers the meanin of her grin?
As comfortable as I'm allowed to be in my time.
By here side before I'm shoveled to the side.
Burried in the past where I came from so long ago.
Where I stand sometimes I jus do not know.
Its hard to decipher the intel in the hearts confusion.
Am I the one or a simple conclusion.
Its almost as if what I'm doin makes no difference.
Am I a fantasy to good to be true or lack of patience.
I'm petrified of startin over for another end.
No one will ever replace the shape of her faces bend.
As I am I am what I am tryin to be a man.
N I'm fallin short of truths unguided plan.

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