Lost my own

Tested and beginning to fail.
Rated on a 1 to 10 scale.
I forgot how to be me.
Yet I'm living the dream.
Bending for loves existance.
Laying down defences.
Putting an other before self.
But I'm needing some emotional help.
And I'm not being heard.
It feels like my head is beginnig to turn.
Switches throwing flags right and left.
Nothings about me even at my best.
A two way street has become singled out.
Seems its me sitting in a drought.
Me doesn't exist anymore.
I've lost my own indiviual core.
Pared up for one sided relations.
Some things are hidden with irritation.
I'm falling backwards slower than the eye can see.
Motionless trying not to blow off steam.
Yet no one stands for me and my purpose.
I'm beggining to feel worthless.
Having less meaning as days tick by.
And I haven't a clue of why.
I've noticed actions speak loud.
As words fall out of an over flowing the mouth.
Me is abscent and distant within.
Fighting a demon that won't allow me to grin.
Post dating emotions hoping to find self tomorrow.
But what are the odds of filling the hollow?

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