Days in between controlling thoughts.
Gathering imformation as its caught.
Time turns hands that begin to fade.
One loses focus trying to avoid the games.
Laughters quit to the silence of night.
Feeling the defeat of the hardest fight.
Tamed emotion forced down so deep.
For if spoken they sound expensively cheap.
Rotating life spins out of control.
Feeling of no importance n played out as old.
Breaths feed the heart that consantly pumps.
Skipping beats with a throat that lumps.
Mindly matters orbit in confushion.
Causing endless unwanted illusions.
Side ways cheecks facing away.
With tears that fill empty unfilled space.
Numbered before ever having a chance.
All the while attempting to enjoy the dance.
Rolling eyes rotate seen since birth.
Another day one bites the dirt.
Thunder breaks sound of rains hatred.
Pouring out is words tasted.
Past is the presence once was.
No matter what one actually does.
Moments of purity ruined by expressions.
Destroying the truist of intensions.
Pain creeps like the storm letting loose.
Catching glimpses of all the clues.
Patience is as the wind can blow.
Haulting how one will somehow flow.
Breezing by sweeping away the gain.
As the face is left bitterly stained.
Cold chills shiver in the heat of battle.
As the tongue must always win the battle.
Easing off of the relentless undesrved abuse.
One simply feels they have no use.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Cold chills shiver
Friday, July 27, 2012
Fake expressions.
Lending hands I can not reach.
Smiling grins with stained teeth.
Ditry soap wrinsing away contact.
Fake expressions is it exact.
Words false blurt out resistance.
Intensions seen is ignorance.
Spoken syllables taunt the will.
Character left standing oh so still.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Stance
Switching possitions as feet posses the stance.
Making decisions before this world has its chance.
Under submission I turned in a self inflicted glance.
Losing fiction my reallity is wanting to dance.
Lonely mission impossible my eyes relate to balance.
Deeper incissions are reflecting my pasts rememberance.
Bursting love
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
To receive is to give
Something willing. Without being forced. An act of unity. Drippin purity from the pores. All one ever wants is unconditional love. Someone who has them in mind. Joining forces to complete one an other. Til the end of time. Needing a feeling beyond loves understanding. Calming the nerve. In comfort of showing cause. Beleiving every word. Connections finest. Fitting in with ease. In return one will receive. Taking care of an others needs.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Note to self
Jus a lil note to self.
Pull up ya pants.
Tighten ur belt.
N act like a man.
Shit is hard indeed.
Yet keep in mind.
Pennies will meet.
In due time.
Jus a thought to help.
Guiding u through.
When cards r delt.
Stand honest n true.
Be about it everyday.
Don't shy away from the struggle.
Stroll wit a sway.
N don't wear a muzzle.
Lace ur shoes.
There's only one way.
Don't forget to make due.
Remember the gain.
Its not about u.
Will never be.
Put urself to use.
Don't blow off steam.
Hold character in hand.
Firmly show intension.
Love when u can.
N did I mention.
Be urself always.
Know who u r.
Ur a hell of a man.
Play ur part.
It could be worse.
Do u as time ticks.
Fight for the worths.
Grab a grip.
Give without receiving.
Ur not suppose to want.
Have faith in beleiving.
N have fun.
Wheres the?
Where's the initiation in a marriage so true?
Where's the two as one taking care of each other I do?
Where's the line when bondaries are erased?
Where's time taken will as its being misplaced?
Where's the need to give as one recieves?
Where's the meaning in the word believe?
Where's the fact of knowing an other cares?
Where's the point if a void is unpared?
Where's the reasoming in best freinds for life?
Where's the unconditional in husband and wife?
Where's the emotion suppose to turn?
Where's the patience in lesson learned?
Where's the words spoken when ones affriad to speak?
Where's the honesty as letters are tweaked?
Where's the need to please a partner?
Where's the desire when waiting makes it harder?
Where's the confusion run as the mind starts to think?
Where's the questions answwer when there's a missing link?
Unconditionally real
Would it matter if she ever knew?
Or even if words spoken sounded so true?
Would she see the reasoning trying to get through?
Eyes speaking of completions lonely view.
Silence for phrases written to unwind.
Here is a mans relentless battle cry.
Is it unconditionally til the very end?
Hiding selfs joy in suttle wines that bend.
Would it matter to drain a conversation?
Constantly saying her refusing irritation.
A man needs as well as a woman breaths.
And there's no room negotiation on his knees.
Is there any way for her to know two is one?
When pieces are void n on the run.
Finding empty patience deep within.
Slowly left feeling utterly numb.
Is it in her to give as she receives?
Or is it she's been abused to much to see?
A real man before her waiting for his.
Returning to the images in his dreams.
Matters of the hearts desires are most definately met.
Yet tension builds as emotion are spent.
Will she notice if he never tells a soul?
Or if he asks will she repent n lose control?
Mentions of inner self has been told.
N actions tell him the movement is cold.
Never to be as she repeats.
Someday I will, as motions stall so bold.
Will she ever realize what it means?
To take hands married within rings.
Making sure he gets his as she does hers.
Or is a lifetime in her mind define her own creed.
Is it a matter of true love not giving in?
Or is it better off for where she's been.
For his past molded him as well.
Maybe that's another story to tell.
Receiving
All or nothing.
Getting a lil something.
Giving n showing.
Hoping someones knowing.
Piecing in loving.
Falling short on some things.
Opened for the living.
Halfing a stepping.
Wanting it returning.
Meaning is deceiving.
Pleading for selfs yearning.
Gethering taught learnings.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Somewhere with u
To wind up somewhere with u as ur hands are pinned against the door.
Moving in on ur comfort n invading ur untamed xxx hardcore.
Just to push up on u as lips taste the hormones pouring from pores.
Feening to tease ur secrets dying to come alive as they want so much more.
Pressing my body against urs until we wind up on the floor.
Uncontrolled n playing a game that could never be a bore.
Unlocking ur most selfish desires by opening all ur doors.
Returning to the basics.
Holding on through the hardest of times.
Leaning on a friend that eases a stressful cry.
Finding the meaning of loves will coming alive.
Walking more than the purpose of toeing the line.
Becoming the unmentional looking up at the climb.
Rising up for the strengh within is beginning to shine.
Returning to the basics of the wind blowing a grind.
Coming out from behind the storm chasing a laughter that's mine.
Yet still without two nickles breaking a dime.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Fake stillness
Unwanted smiles sizzle a frustrating frawn.
Raw lips chard to forced lips on a clown.
Fake stillness reeks of the pain within.
Unsettled words held from thoughts of sin.
Passing a moment not worth the irritation.
The eyes speak of unholy temptation.
Swallowing pride before the truth escapes.
The face is stain of emotional debate.
Confusing reallity stretched so thin.
Dragging out the day until lights are dim.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Dragging out purpose
Unfinished demensions.
I seek eternity in the mind.
Possiblities with intensions.
Visions seen through a glass dime.
Imagination overload.
Speeks its undying cause.
Desperation unknown.
Silent yet without a sinlge flaw.
Capacity meltdown.
Brainwaves trigger illusions.
Direction unwound.
Fighting irritating delusions.
Possibilities gravitating.
Dragging out purpose.
Orbiting the wellbeing.
Conflicting a toss and a tough tuss.
Caught in the middle of
Down when lucks run out.
Finding away to make do before what's left goes south.
Caught in the middle of nothing and everything.
Knowing only one thing.
Falling is a concrete surface.
One the human body can not hurt.
Bouncing back is a must.
For time is not over nor have I lived my fuss.
Looking up all seems so far away.
Life flowing I am still here to stay.
The fight is not at its end as of yet.
And my wills happiness has not been met.
So the climb is as relevant as air itself.
I'm going to make it for I have my health.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Mark the line
Enough is just over the line and its not hard to trip backwards as you wind up somewhere else in time.
At the edge of luv is easy to slip from as equal invisible steps are hard to climb when the eyes are blind.
Toeing a tip is teetering in the balance of becoming one with an unknowing sense of trust.
Falling down as strength shows interest on the other side of lonelyness and a mark in the dirt is on a hush.
Find luv
Do like we do.
True through and through.
Be like we.
Dreams filled and free.
Luv with touch.
Dust to dust.
Opened and floating.
Roaming and knowing.
Live to give.
Pick and be with.
Land in a hand.
Stand as lifes grand.
Pause for a cause.
Toss the applause.
Find meaning of mind.
Unwind and be kind.
Wait for patience.
Make it and escape.
Potrait
Mounted and staring.
Framed in glass.
Colors and profiles.
Capturing the past.
Smiles speaking.
Clothes fresh.
A single nail.
At a families best.
Hung for memory.
Remembering the day.
Happiness shown.
In its pace to stay.
Knowing the truth
Opening doors locked.
Thoughts cling and flock.
Suprising intension revealed.
Honest to what's real.
Keys to the hidden used.
Knowing the turth.
Willing to attempt.
Secrets neeeding to vent.
Tucked away for so long.
Desires righting a wrong.
Behind the knobs I explore.
Deep within the core.
Awaiting me to free.
Now at one with me.
Ttfavor
Somewhere in the middle of.
Searching for a focusing dust.
In the distance eyes zoom past the mind.
Squinting a stare off upon the horizon.
Trying to find a vision of reconnecting.
Peeking into times never ending.
Everything ran away out of the known.
Left patiently seeking and its being shown.
Watching the days come and go.
Restlessly waiting as nights move so slow.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
After a lifetime of knowing
True love dies together.
One is always holding on.
Pleading for forever.
As the end is being torn.
One day the balance is broken.
Someone will be left alone.
After a lifetime of knowing.
Holding a bag of bones.
At the ledge of turning back.
Forced to remember what's left.
The heart will be attacked.
As feet stumble to step.
There's a line of letting go.
In a sense of no more.
Carrying a love shows.
Abandoned and on a lonelt tour.
Where touch is abscent, love is there
Contact with never being touched.
Something I never ubderstood until I was honestly loved.
I found reasoning in reaching without landing.
For when a woman loves its outstanding.
Close enough to feel her silent presense.
Opening to the unexplainable residence.
Carressing a flow felt by breath released.
Locked eyes that have found a way to please.
Lingering stealth love has filled the heart.
Without ever pressing body parts.
Fingertips as still as the nights moon.
Patiently drifting with the mood in the room.
In the way love sinks in to the soul.
I can feel her walking with her sexy stroll.
Never once grazing a quick tease.
She has me begging inside pretty please.
Physically left alone to calm the nerve.
Yet she's by my side as I see her faces curve.
In a moment at one without a genlte stroke.
That's how I know I love her as she glows.
Where shade hides the face
On the other side of the sun. Trying to find a moment when the body is done. Where shade hides the face. Leaning forward to the easing great escape. As the moon beams reflect what the fire can not see. Cooling off time behind a rock made for feet. The dim holds for as long as the day break comes a searching. The horizing sizzles in the mornings desreving. Leaving legs running into the dark side of dreams. Hiding within the cracks unwoven seems.
Friday, July 13, 2012
All mine
Fading slowly away into a place like no other.
Where the calm of simplicity soothes the beholder.
Temptation is irrelavent here where I drift.
Patiently relaxing under a cool suttle mist.
Imagining pleasure where pain has no place.
Everyone is the same and is abscent of face.
Losing tough with reallity I am consumed.
At ease deep enough to smile at a civilized zoo.
Somewhere all my own in my own little world.
Taking a moment to twindle my thumbs and fingers a twirl.
Gone without breaths air has no purpose.
And there is no need in ever being nervous.
Here I am in orbit pausing in comfort.
Heart flowing without even a puncture.
Lally gagging just because I can.
I am content here where I don't have to feel like a man.
At self with self by self being self for self.
Not worrying about having good health.
Just able too slide to the side as I glide in time.
Its a beautiful place I call all mine.
Backwards
I try not to hard to be in this situation.
Lifes sneaking up with its immitations.
Wrapped around my mind is a barbed wire fence.
I cant escape and there no line of defence.
Pitty me not for am what I am.
I just thought as a man I could withstand.
Dreams of a better place are fading fast.
I'm hoping all goes well and allows me to outlast.
The suffering with a side of torment.
My well being in slowly cracking with the bend.
Falling behind is a frightened state of mind.
With fingernails bent backwards in the grind.
The sky is coming down quicker everyday.
Walls collapsing and I am affraid.
Tomorrow hasn't a chance for the first time ever.
Searching for a simpler way so clever.
Never to return to this way of life.
All I'm trying to do is make it right.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Life of a loner
For a man so easy going.
There sure isn't a soul that'll flip a coin.
All can do without his presense.
Makes him wonder, where's his heaven?
Calm with dialect that's straight forward.
Yet no one hears his words being told.
Lonelyness is his only option.
Unable understand why his own closed caption.
Left inside himself to live as a loner.
Yet he doesn't cry as a moaner.
Strong and beaten emotionally.
Over ran with a thing called reallity.
At the least bit its fair to say its frustrating.
But he can smile fake grim that's perpertrating.
Lone and stuck witht houghts all his own.
A man sits and waits for his time to slow.
In need of help
Pride. It will destroy a man.
Weakness. Is it not the way he stands?
Failing. He rots from the inside.
Angered. Going after the thoughts in his own mind.
Self. Never asking for he's got it.
Debateable. Slowly losing his grip.
Controled. Falling by the second.
Changing. For times are hectic.
Mouth. Sealed because his will won't allow it.
Tears. Building pressure as he's stripped.
Overwhelmed. Causing so much confusion.
Ganging. Needing help to heal his erosion.
Hate. Drowning out the pain creeping.
Insane. Driven beyond the battke of thinking.
Suffacating. Words are lost in between breaths.
Relentless. Only wanting to rest.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
3...2..1.
I was sittin in the dark @ 234 in the mornin.
Lookin at my 1.
N I realized I forhot about my 3.
N the individual I've become.
It takes 2.
This I know.
But its come down to the one in me.
N I got this for I am a man that's grown.
No more follow the leader.
Its time to get back at it.
3... 2..1.
My minds on the run.
Passin time is not an option.
My thoughts r gathered.
N I'm here once again.
For I know what matters.........
234 am
234 am.....
N I realize shit ain't right.
Lookin through pictures of betta times.
n it dawns on me I'm loosin the fight.
235....
N I'm searchin for another line.
Now 236......
N sleep is callin out to the night.
Still in the same minute.
Droppin letters as the clock ticks.
Its 237 n I know what I gotta do.
This has got to be fixed....
Monday, July 9, 2012
Blank stares claimed by thoughts
Its that pit stirrin up emotions.
Shakin hands with the opposite side of motion.
Blank stare claimed by thoughts.
Over runnin will guided by the sense of feelin lost.
Somethin like failure peekin in windows.
Blockin the light of lifes shadows.
Somehow knowin right from wrong.
Yet unable to stop dancin to its song.
Its the worst of the best turnin out.
Watchin everything near walk in drought.
Rememberin patience like a lost friend.
Fightin off the inevidable end.
Diggin in n findin a chance to survive.
Hopin self knows what it means to bein alive.
Its a passed leadin into what's upon the shoulders.
As dirt feels like rocks fallin like boulders.
Painfully makin reality obvious.
Temptin to ignore how serious.
More drive than yesterday we break.
Stronger than who we were for owns sake.
Its a head hung without givin inner termoil away.
No matter what shade the skies escape.
Conflictin with potential the core pleads.
Tryin everythin to stand upright from the knees.
Prayin for a miracle as waitin is the only option.
Hands out for the smallest of donations.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Void
With n withouts.
More so than it counts.
Wantin what one likes.
Drougths on the mind.
When's with enough?
Or without being stuck?
How's does fair come to play?
Missing needs everyday.
All craves their own.
Yet intensions are slowed.
All because an other resists.
Unchecked on a list.
Or getting a fill.
With pure will.
Stringing someone along.
Is so wrong.
When getting their fix.
And even so one insists......
Living in love differently.
Never seperately.
Having ones own way.
Belongin in a sence of sway.
Giving & receiving together.
Someone always makes out better.
Lines of willingness true to form.
While the heart wants its torn.
A love so true can starin the brain.
Wondering why they can't endure the same.
One will soon begin to hold out.
Needing an equal without a pout.
To level the playing feild is a must.
Otherwise the mind thinks its lust.
Shutting down quietly before face.
Hiding all resemblances of the trace.
Standing strong for it emotions to live.
Silently fading with so much to give.
Unique lovers sharing a picture in a frame.
Mimicing one an other still in the same.
Easy it is not to feed into more.
Passing time isn't an option
Time to time
Love me til u can't love me no more.
Then tell me do u still want me in ur core?
On some real shit say I'm the one.
Then turn around n make my heart wanna run.
I'm jus simply stating I've been watchin u.
Only if u knew the truth I knew.
U see I can say I'm unconditional.
N I see it in u til ur luv folds.
I've shown the only side of intension I eva had.
Yet time to time I feel as if repeated questions make me sad.
I believe you've got some things to learn.
I can hear it in the tone of ur words.
N ur actions r not quite in it for me.
Not the way I do what I do to please.
Girl, here I sit wonderin if u truly get it.
For I give me to u cuz u r the shit.
But its not about me when I entered this.
Yet somethin tells me you've concord my best.
I'm jus saying I see u as u do u.
Forgetttin time to time who I am n that's ur fool.
Wake up n witness luv goin down in the heart.
I'm doin so much more than my part.
Listen n speak not for words r irrelavent.
N yes I believe ur heaven sent.
All I wish is to receive the way I release my joy.
Enjoyin someone the way they should without a void.
99% of what u do is on point.
The other .01 is worth zonin out to a joint.
Honesty can change things either way.
That's why my words written here will stay.
Hidden from ur eyes for u pay no attention.
Oooooh n did I forget to mention???????......
On my bday.... july 8 2012
Never about me.
Isn't that the way its suppose to be?
A man giving his all he can.
But when's it time for him to receive, damn?
Never asking for anything.
Wanting so much from a set of rings.
Commited to the smile of an other.
In every sense of the words that surround lover.
Yet lacking moments shine through the cracks.
Showing just what it is they lack.
Unwilling or just not as far gone in love.
Where in the hells a birthday touch?
A minds not on me the way mine thinks.
Putting someone else first as her heart sinks.
Maybe I'm over doing it.
Or possible don't say much of my own fix.
Yet I say enough that's forgotten.
And most of all jus ignored as in my head its rotting.
Everyone has what they like.
If one would read they'd understand it in the way I write.
Iits my birthday and I'm a bit disapointed.
But that's what one gets for bendingdouble jointed.
Uncoditinally I express with passion.
With every word movement and action.
Wish it were the same on both ends.
For I've found my truest best friend.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Dancin with the breeze
My luv floats for u in the distance of wind.
Dancin with the breeze jus to see ur grin.
Needin to land n feel how it is to stretch.
Recievin the only thing it knows as its best.
Carried through the in between the way.
Silently movin n attemptin to see ur face.
Cool n driftin calmin condition with an ease.
Aimed to do nothin more the simply please.
Watch for how it makes its way throu ur eyes.
N tell me how it feels when my luv sinks inside.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Disapointment
Pain falling. Drippin on the skin with a sizzle.
Hurt installin. Floodin out the floatin drizzle.
Emotion fadin. Bruisin the hearts stability.
Ability hatin. Brushin away attempts to reality.
Cries unbareable. Secrets told with intent.
Feelins terrible. Sea sick of the swallowin indent.
Masks worn. Disappointment showin faces.
Ripped n torn. Appointed defience leavin traces.
Suferin hatred. Pluckin nerves opened up.
Sucked n baited. Rubbin thoughts with a shove.
Surrounded by sound. Unable to unclinch fists.
Round n round. Tables turnin on the minds disc.
Never endin struggle. Relentless hot breaths build.
Crumblin to rubble. Defenseless to the upward hill.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Misguided
What would ya do to show someone u luv em?
Would u cherish em then hurt em?
Using the best of both worlds for self.
Confusin emotions that doesn't help.
What would ya do for a luv that turns?
Showin u how n if ur willin to learn.
Causin upside down frawns that spin.
Relapsin the kindness spreadin thin.
What would ya do if u were put on the line?
Disturbin interest in a lone state of mind.
Back n forth with selfish intension.
Lost in the thoughts demensions.
Passin time for it tells.
R u strong enough to wait on intel?
Pickin ya up to drop u harder than the last.
Seein if u have what it takes to grasp.
Indecisions unclearified through actions.
Holdin on to the passion.
Trustin luv that changes faces.
Could u withstand the traces.
What would ya do if u had no control?
Watchin an other fold n unfold.
Takin the blunte end of unreason.
Left thinkin n constantly dreamin.
Could u stand strong for the sake?
Or watch a mimic immitate?
Destroyin what could be so real.
Wonderin what is the deal?
What would ya do if escapin is not an option.
Would ya be able to accept the distraction?
Tuggin day to day away from the purity.
Rearrangin the simplist thing to insecurity.
Would it be difficult to to keep hands steady?
Or find an ease in bein mistreated steadily?
What would ya do if stability was unstable?
Turnin the stomach behind the navel.
If the heart ached behind the eyes.
Could u still claim that one as mine?
If cupid misguided for one doesn't get it.
Is waitin on em worth the bull shit?
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Partacing facts
I'm fucked up and I refuse to say why. I think I watch to closely, then again I haven't a clue so I hide my cry. I see you doing you and I sit back with purpose of violence. I know my part and what I know is silenced. No one is to partake in facts. I wonder in a giggle. Who do you really think I am? Am I suppose to ease back with a shiver? Do you know my intensions? Over seeing me as a man. Its a puzzle tryin to figure out angles. Unique as rare can be tangled. I forgive for I love. Do you understand why I stand the way I do? Yet I shut up. Do you even have to answer that? I am because of you. Listen to yourself. What if I were in your shoes. Would you feel the tension within? Or does it even matter? Why do I have to put it that way? Misunderstood is the curve of conversation taking place. Is this the way it is? How does one bounce back from the turn of disbelief? Its got me needing to act out in relief. Why? I amgetting lost in our time?
Monday, July 2, 2012
In a glimps
Showin interest in a glimps.
In an instant with crawlin lips.
Trust settin still enough to notice.
Start to finish in the mix of bliss.
Givin time a chance to cure.
Refreshin pulses now secure.
Simple little thing safe and sound.
Never breakin smile own the frawn.
Dashin hearts landin in arms.
Caught softly in a lovin charm.
Love existin n comfortably relaxed.
Here forever willin n wantin to last.
Somethin in the way
Somethin in the way.
It's there in direct aim.
Particles of pieces fittin.
Placed perfectly sittin.
Here is now at once.
Packin a sticky punch.
There's somethin upliftin.
Movin with a shiftin.
The unguided way of presense.
Clear as undesturbed luminance.
Somehow findin empty room.
In full unconditional bloom.
Somethin is goin on.
Feelin the ability to be reborn.
Danglin in the desire.
Heated by the ghost flames fire.
There's somethin in the way of unspoken.
Pleasin the silence of words not choken.