a standin man

being ready. not all of us are at the same time. some learn more rapidly. some more in shorteer amounts of time. not our fault. some are jus more advanced then others due to experiences theyve endured. its real situations. some think they got this. some know they dont. breakin down with actions teellin on them. crazy.... people. mind frames set either on idle. others eady for the taking. n some havnt a clue what their in for.. i get it. have for some time. i know why i do what i do. maybe time is key. n i believe this is it. i know. i want this. yyet not eveyone can keep their mind on the bigger picture. if im wrong please forgive me. i am human. learnin to be happy. tryin for where iv been was dark. i am so ready! some have it in them. some say they do til it comes divided. unable to get past issues one didnt cause. words are the cheapest thrill life has to offer. repeated patterns speak of the hearts will. in its good interests. makin all the right fair decisions that may occur. some fuck things up. good things that could be it. some see it happen. see it comin. i guess im one of those who knows what to expect. im no good. all i do. for what. jus how i feel. only for so long i can give it a go. n its not me givin out. im strong enough to make it. others around smile as if they can. u see, im free. in body n mind. im free as a man can be. let loose by self to feel somethin other than hate. i give me n some ask why. jus cuz they dont get it. i figured this shit out. hmmm. some chop another down for self infliction. affraid of bein hurt. some pick away til theres nothin left. as luvers fall into peices at their feet. fightin. communication. mature minds know whats bein said. findin the good n addressin all that conflicts with the will to make it. open eyes feeds strong minds. yet a gentle heart balances the fight. all i ever want is this to last. i give everything. on my knees. eyes focused on what some consider a prize, but a partner as i see it to live. my capabilities are so much more twisted if i lose this. cuz if this isnt it. im done. people in general have their breakin point. if wantin somethin bad enough, they will indeed snap. happy i am. through n through. yet i look into eyes that fade in moments of dyer need to keep it together. failin the test within themself. losin home. im jus sayin not everyone has it in em. n i dont wanna write anymore. ever..... this is a blow that will crush me. n like isaid. i'll be done if..........i am a standin man takin one blow after another as they bounce from my will. cuz i know n have found somethin that is rare to find.... not everyone gets this oppertunity. but its gonna take more than me to get this done....... as 1! as i pour me out with tears i refuse to cry. u know some r willin without bein asked. n its shows. belive me, it shows. n others do it for a lil while n let time take their willingness away. i control my will cuz i know what is i want. everday i give me. all of me. n yes i consider myself a man. yet i have much to learn. but i dont feel i'll ever be more than the moment. n idk why..... its like some people dont really know what it takes. for many different reasons they are to into self to give a flyin fuck or see someone as they drain the day away for the good. i am human. willin. i dont need to be asked. i do it cuz i can. allowed. here is a man standin, damn near without much more to say......