claim the end...

Once you’ve bored yourself with me after giving me a watered down version of what you say you have to offer. Moving on to find the next thing that’ll never make you happy as you pounce from this one to that one looking for another luv’r. It’s been nice to have known you. Now shove off and float face down. Goodbyes are forever and like ghosts that don’t exist, there’s no coming back to life. Listen to the way it sounds. Dig your grave and lay with the snuggle of dirt as I cover you with the luv in which you came from. Be as still as the disbelief you’ll cause my expressions trying to redirect luv. Just don’t be afraid to find you someone who didn’t expect you to grow. A sucker to tell you yes, as if you’ll be satisfied with the bitch you’ve created him to be before you leave him alone. It’s in the way of modern women is why men just wanna fuck. Just long enough to be superficial so that the solitude is to comfort the trust. But say it with a smile that you can’t reshape. I'll shit a good smirk that no longer speaks a familiar name. Come, get what you’ve came for so I can pass some time. I like being single in between the bafoonery of fake gestures that mount up to worthlessness that create the obscenities of my life. You’re a plaything as I’m supposed to need hurt when you go away. Although, the only thing that’ll bother me is giving up my freedom until you’re done acting out your game. So, who’s getting played? I’ll have my cock in more than your face. You’ll receive a cheap emotional thrill prior to looking onward to what else is out there. And I won’t care. I’ll fill your void so I can touch you in ways you tell the next fella he’s the best you’ve ever had. I just hope you cum and go fast. So I can get back to doing what I wanna do with myself. No, you’ll never be felt. You’re not the type that knows what it takes to earn a friend. So do what you do and claim the end…

I'm not me...

It’s who I’ve mutated into is why I must go. I’m not me by you as this I know. I have to leave you here with the ghost of me. I don’t like who I’ve become none the less. There’s a version of me that I’ve forgotten how to be. And I’m going back to what makes sense to how this reads. Somewhere, I’m not a stranger in my own reflection . Bcuz it’s me when I’m with you that I forget to mention. So I’m loosening up emotions too get a better feel. So I can accept me for someone who’s real. Alive and in the mood to live. I have more of life to give. To another that isn’t you when they define my luv. I’m giving up on you prior to there's nothing left of me to trust. I need the friend within these writings that cannot hide. I’m tired of doing time in my mind. Going over the possibilities that possess my will to survive. I want to do be me again. And I cannot do that here in the making of a monster with unstable hands. It’s me or it’s you. All I want is to call a truce. So, I can fit the molding of me as I fade from growth or actually bloom into worth. For this place is stagnant as fuck and I feel alone. But it’s the missing person I cannot locate that I've never seen. Due to it was me I halted to please your dreams. I’m not happy. I stopped laughing. I’m not a twisted mystery waiting on a magician's trick to change me. I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating from this person mimicking who I am. Of this imposter I am not a fan. I gotta go. I havta find my flow…

let down...

I can’t even get into my heart, what makes you think it’ll let you in? It doesn’t trust me and you’re a stranger. Imagine the solitude that comforts the texture within. I’ve tried to relate with the feel but I’m on the outside just wanting another chance. I guess averted puts you in the mix of wanting to dance. My emotions are stubborn enough to kill me before I’m to ever open up. That alone should tell you what you’d havta be for me to convince myself that you’re any different than the eventual pain that turns off luv. I’m a man and I hate being tougher than any hands that’s ever touched me but I’m I'm forced to stop. I went too deep and learned a few things about me that have been in the makings of having a use. My mind knows what to do, it’s just my thumper doesn’t need a so called friend to pull the plug on forever prior to it living the proof. If I’m broken in your eyes, I’d suggest you leave me be. There’s no easy way to get you to free me from the shackles in my dreams. I’ll agree with you bcuz my pulse is a flatline to say the least. All I know is how to stand on my own two misguided feet. Call me a let down and shuffle yourself into a new reality without me to somewhere you can get what you're so deserving of. I’ll remain here, moving slowly to the rhythm of my own beat vibing with lusts I can’t trust. But I won’t havta open up my chest as if I have the key. My vibe can’t be felt as I refuse to lead. I will I ever follow another for they’re on their own path. It’s ok though bcuz relations move so fast. One day joy is a serum to dive in to as the next is words that don't know the meaning of hush. As the drowning tears chase away the memory as loose fingers throw up a duece. That’s when the endless cycle returns to unchain the melody lost in between the ribs cage. Creating an expression that can't be faked in which is smeared upon the face...

simultaneously in motions...

No one actually luvs anyone else. They luv the feeling they get when they’re holding another. As thoughts roam freely through the mind, emotion rises to the occasion. Making it easy for free will to do things for another. Things happen and primes move on to express what’s going on within them to someone new. The cycle repeats by claiming luv is shared when in fact no one can truly feel any other creating their own version on desire. There’s not one single individual that isn’t in luv with themself. For there’s multiple types that can help self to ignite a feel of joy. But without the inner makings taking part there’s simply nothing there. Self hasta be aware of the phases we go through on our own. Allowing a fresh start with a stranger to feed the endorphine's hope that it’ll last in an imaginary forever. We’re delusional to save ourselves the pain of being simultaneous creatures. Willing to interact to gain access to a better version of who it is we hide from a world that has no mercy. To luv who we are is to show others we’re capable to treat them as we treat ourselves. Red flags can give indications to leave certain chameleons alone. As we face off within relations attempting to relate with a friend who’s gonna leave one day. When it comes back around, the curtain closes for the world to see. And the mind folds into chapters trying not to forget lost dreams...

To you, I don't exist...

Don’t come to me when I won’t know you’re near enough to touch me. If I cannot awake just know, what I’ve come to accept you as is written in stone. My calling isn’t your excuse to say goodbye one last time. If you’re not here don’t bother with the half hearted bs you hide behind as I lay as still as still can be. Worth doesn’t come after the facts of use that was never shown. We’re not even associates so claiming we were ever friends would be yet another bold face lie. Don’t ever cry for a stranger you didn’t care to know. I won’t be to awake at the wake you need to be absent at. Verbalizing that, my truth is I’m better off knowing you don’t exist. For outta my head you’re finally gone. No more memories, no delusions, no bs. If I’m free don’t appear before the ones I luv. You don’t belong in the same room mourning their loss. Have some fuckin respect for once in your life. You don’t deserve to witness my last moments of what everyone will remember of me. You can’t comfort anyone in my life. And you're regrets don’t matter so live with them as I sleep. I’m not weak I just won’t have the capability to defend myself as you whisper in the crowd. Like the breeze you flow so just fuck off and enjoy out living me. It’ll be a smile I’m sure you’d be proud of. One last laugh at my expense is what I do expect. Do you and leave me alone…

I gained me…

For you to miss out on me is for you to be willing to miss out on me. And you’re not here with me where I rest as you reside over there somewhere living the dream. I often wonder if you’re just a lingerer lost, only allowing strangers to touch you long enough until you relocate. Maybe you’re just a selfish individual who hasn’t found that friend in the mirror missing. Writing the smile on your face so you can live under a spell so devastating. It’s possible I was just a moment shared that was merely a stepping stone to comfort your feet. As your life is for you to spend, in which ever way it gathers its means. I once held you in my grasp that’s listened to the feel of you being gone. As no one as of yet has gotten past the wall that protects the memory of you that’s gone wrong. Missing from this newly founded life is you not missing a single thing about me. If you did, it would be known and there’d be a joy that sets my emotions free. But that’s all in the getting over someone that lied straight faced to a friend in ruins that never had a chance. My brief interruption wasn’t much on an impact for us to continue our dance. I’m just an afterthought to the one my heart couldn’t help but to choose. As it was I that was refused. Belittled and befriended by the ultimate choice of preference that you were in my eyes. And now all I have is time. To wait out this life trying to get you off of my mind somehow. I’m no one to you, I know this to be a factual, although it’s profound. For I’ve watched others come and go in your presence and I can’t help but to be confused. It’s always their fault with the same outcome as your flaws luv to be the recluse. I see you the way you don’t see me prepping what you can’t admit to yourself. I’m the only one that was there to help me, I simply wasn’t felt. If we're the lesson I needed to round out my mind. I learned a lot by entertaining your true intent so I could better comprehend worth’s reason to why. I continuously played the part at least one more time bcuz of who I was, as I was someone no one could get to. It was a must for me to endure the meaning of compassion as my composure had to create a sense of use. I was untouchable until I opened up to a luv’rs smile that had nothing to give in return. But oh, how it hurt. How you gave to me the one thing you didn’t realize you had to share with me other than the way you flirt. Betrayal. It was unveiled. As the old me was unalived. For you were no longer mine. As nowadays I cling to the experience bcuz I came from it a reasonable man. With the knowledge of participation being everything that lasts as long as it can, while it can. I obtained me in the journey of luv awakening the stagnant version of myself that was never asleep at the wheel. I live as I'm alive and I've got me now, with the consideration of another wanting to partake in something to feel. In a sapiosexual way where physical sexually is a plus. Without you shunning me and me willingly to seeing how far you’d take me in a detour as you still insist on a woman is someone to trust…

Halting compatibility…

Drama is like buzzards circling over your head. Looking down, patiently waiting for their time to feast. Wanting communications to be dead so bellies can fill on others demise to say the least. It’s your way or no way on a verbal scale of who can talk louder so the breaths scent of differences is to be attacked. As the volume within conversation never fail to ignite frustration. I’ve done the math and far back and watched you destroy relations within inner circles with infuriation. Irritated by others in their own mindset is a trigger for you as I’m well aware. Being a half a heartbeat left from your pulse being activated in real time only drives a wedge.  Say you care, but deep down you know even the surface of your face changes as you walk good intent to the ledge. I’ve come to witness the realization that you do not possess the skills to coexist through mutual respect. You’re so offended, no matter who speaks of an alternate version of frustrations come about. Tones flip a switch in moments where conversation turns away from twisted content on the tongue of a serpent spitting venom through sound. It’s always a combative issue with you. Halting compatibility as others refuse to get close enough to fully accept the script you have to tell as you to play. As I myself am toeing the line on removing you from my sanity that’s questioning me due time, I entertain the chaos I swore I’d never allow to take place. You can’t relate in times of toxicity showing its azz. As the severity of your own creation is bypassed when your fingers point at others believing you're a lost cause. Your past is still embedded in your every word spoken but you insist you’ve changed to become a better person as you’re honestly trapped in your flaws. No on's perfect. No one is going to go sing with the shockwave after so long if dealing with your kind. It’s not that you ain’t worth it, it’s just your presence interrupts their peace of mind…

self aware...

Luv is final as it will die. But after the fact of moving on as if being reincarnated, what is it you’d wanna remember for life? Or is it, who is it you’d wanna be remembered for? Once you’ve turned and walked outta someone’s need for more. Whispers will follow you as to remind yourself of who you are in the now. So how is it you tend to act in ways in which will make you look back ever so proud? Character isn’t a functional character here in the makings of coexisting. Emotion fades like vanity as both become horrifying in time due to there’s only the entitlements of resisting. Eventually we must face ourselves with a slew of truths gathered along the way. As in the afterlife, where moving on we take with us what we can never escape. Mentally we’re aware of our own dysfunctions of trial and error. But at some point, what we’ve learned hasta be present in how we move before Paul becomes the barer. The good moments will pass to resurface more than a few again and agains that regurgitate goodbyes. So why do we allow what will transform us negatively into a monster telling versions of lies? We’re not virgins who are new to how things can play out. As tongue need not be one sided in the downfall of hope clinging to the beat of the heart pounding so loud. To enjoy whatever comes and goes is repetitively insane. So, is self just waiting on another irreversible ending to place the blame? As to be in between worlds that resemble relations is supposed to be the correction phase so we attract the likeliness of a likeminded individual that’s lived through their own shame. There’s no need in squandering the brief self reflection that creates a better sense of who we claim to be just wanting to avoid the pain. Bad decisions linger from one universe to another. If you can relate, that’s one person’s perception of reality to another’s as we slither simultaneously through spaces void to touch every single and multiple luv’r. Tension exists through distasteful tongues that tell tales of who self only claims to be. Or is it, the truth is everything words penetrate to remain emotionally deep?

The nurturer and the caveman…

Why not be the emotional aspect I try to express? You could be the representation of who I am as the man in me is safe to fight this world away. My softer side can live through you as you’nt havta get beaten down ever again. Be the peace that compliments who it is I need to be. A replica I cannot show for the weakness of a man is measured by his stance confirming leading the way. With someone like you I'd have a confident confidant to watch my back if I’m to need a second wind to acknowledge another angle I may have overlooked. I’ll be the bad guy every time if you’d use your femininity to sooth the feel of you I possess inside. Know that you’d exist in my mind and be the reason I should open up. There’s a gentler version of myself only a certain type will ever witness. For I’m not everyone’s plaything to toss about my secrets and details. Level up to privacy and protection from your own natural intent. Be the woman as I’ll be the simplicity of what a man truly is. Just like me before you, like me bcuz there’s a good chance if you don’t this will never work. That’s when the respect breaks down and a friend mutates into an enemy. And there’s combative egos that I have to deal with daily that I don’t want to entertain as it is. Having another disruption isn’t a desire but a nuisance I simply cannot allow. I’m ok with you enjoying me as I become a safe space for you to evolve. As I make the hard decisions so your feelings don’t cloud your judgement. And if I get a few of them wrong you’re not to blame. For you’ve merely stepped back to coexist for our strengths to be active. You’re a nurturer by design. I’m a caveman gaining wisdom to share. Nothing more, nothing less. These terms if accepted could gain a real friend for life…

Woman vs woman…

Face shots. I know your ego is sore. My blank stare is an idgaf. Creating your gestures of discomforted expressions that shows I’m under your skin. Just by being me I win and I don’t have it in me to play that game. You’re triggered and I figure ours your issue displayed across your face. As the silly side of me wonders what you’d do if I were to whip my around in your direction real fast. To see if I can get you to jump off the ledge in your mind. Bcuz hope you’re looking at me confirms I bother you. So for the giggles let’s say I give a lil tudage when I look you up and down. Are you just wanting to hate me from a far? Or is it, there’s jitters beneath the surface that you wanna get off your chest? Mood swings. Are you feeling a certain type of way? Dies my presence infuriate your mindset. Bringing hate along for the ride of emotional distortions. Why are you glitching? Becoming a different version of who you were before I walked in the room. Is your silence that gives you away. The reflection of e in your eyes not entertaining your childish behavior. The only reason I noticed you was bcuz I needed to bypass you. I don’t even know you. Haven’t even thought about it. Your demeanor is just off. It’s a violation of the moment we crossed. Bitter sweet. You’re ugly and I’m living it up. Complications of my best life AB’s the worst response. I wouldn’t wanna live inside of you. To be trapped behind that mug is prolly why that smear on you wear is worn upside down. I’m not that important to you in the way I could care less to even sigh on your behalf. Girl please. Go find a sunset to be mad at…

Stepping…

I ain’t moving. Stepping to the side isn’t an option and I’m not the type to be drooling. But I dare you to turn away. Bcuz life with or without you will be popping as I get on with my day. Bring me struggles or attempt to drag me down. If you’re willing to tempt me to hold you accountable I won’t frown. Do your thing and watch me live. You or no one else will ever be more than life can give. We can enjoy it together and find us. Turn likes into the possibilities of luv. But I ain’t half stepping myself to pease your insecurities acting out in verbal violence. Be a woman in your own way and this thing we do can speak in silence. I’ll tell you once on what it’ll take and that’s ask the details you’ll ever need. It’s on you from then on to be my peace. Otherwise, the first time you overstep your space I’ll step over you getting to going where I intent to end my days. I’m not hung up on emotions when I have an existence craving everything from the mountains to the oceans waves. Who’s with me matters to a point but anyone who comprehends the truth of use will do. If no one wants to be and let be I’ll drift on the planes as I move. Being alive ain’t shit to me. I’m comforted by the ease that comes with the pleasure of doing what I want. So don’t get you hooks into me for I can’t be caught by vanities crush. As wherever can be home at any given moment to sit for a while. Trust me when I tell you, I don’t need to to smile. I’ve been doing it on my own for as long as I’ve been alive. But if you wads calm down and breathe I have the time. We’re here and the mood fits the scenario for the scenery to fill the void to relax for a few. But I ain’t afraid to speak on inconsistencies that I havta waste a breath on as if you’re new. I ain’t down playing you, I’m just gonna be honest from the get go of anything ever transforming from strangers crossing paths. Bcuz one day we too will pass. Until then imma be real with myself. I’m the only one who feels what I feel so it’s me that’s the only one I seek help. You’re just an additive to make life more of a soothe. So live loose. Stepping could be a good thing or a final page. I know who I’ll be to you with the expressions upon your face. Words need not demands but whispers flowing so easily are a must. If it ain’t natural I don’t want your type of luv…

Realizing worth…

What of the moment I realize I couldn’t hate you even if I tried? Would you cry for me in my honesty created by simply loving living life? If you were the happiness added to my own accord moving with the breeze. Could you see me witnessing you without being on my knees? I’m accountable bcuz I’m the only one I cannot cut out of my mind in which is where you live regardless if you stay or not. If there was no softer side of me without you would you believe there’s no altered reality for me to make my thoughts stop. As you linger in my head on and endless quest to ease the way I feel. How would you respond if I told you this is real? But I havta remain me. Without the lies that you’re forever as we adjust to truths of ghosts of dreams. False hopes aren’t a part of the usefulness of your touch. And it’ll take me some time to even dip my toes into luv. No matter how deep you wanna dig into my chest. It’s easier to ride a mentality to relate to interests to invest. So we ain’t regretting a loss and referring to a past lost. Bcuz we forgot to pause. Help yourself feel what you can’t hide. I’ll be the witness to how we play out in the middle of life. Slowly floating down the pulse and eager to ease into the heart. Let’s just say, I know my part. You don’t havta remind me of my intent at any giving point to reassure yourself. If you see me, accept you’re more emotional than I am but I can be felt. I do feel only what I can as you do. We’re never gonna be on the same wave at the same exact time so. If you knew of the words I don’t speak of. Would you see through me and realize it’s not just some lust. For who you are to me is for me to know. As I’m who you’re gonna imaging me as someone you hold. If you’re a come and go I’ll be sitting with the memory until I adjust. The realist shit is moving targets eventually take an arrow and fall for luv. To hear names softened to intensify intent. So what if I come to a crossroads where we normalize our scents? Could you, would you, should you, believe I’d be content to walking with you? Until you’ve alerted my mind in which you’ve entered to work loose. If I admitted you’re behind my eyes doing things I didn’t was imagine again. If I just wanted to be a man. Of the response I wonder. Bcuz from the threshold of the next level everything changes. And comforts fades into the hands of a luv’r holding on for how long? In the beginning I never thought of the end until I realized I cannot go wrong. But what if I am? Who’s gonna hurt more after we land? Imma go my way and you’ll find another to fill your days. That’s the way it goes so who’s truly claimed? It’s then when remembering slowly becomes vague. But the remains of an us will remind us from time to time of a face. Trapped in age is someone from days to years ago. But what if I’m not afraid to live through the many different types of moans and groans? Taking a chance to better life. Getting past the mental illusions of the early hype. If you were a friend what would I miss out on if I said nothing at all? When your voice could be, would be, should be, ricocheting off the walls. In my truths I teeter on an us. Upright and laying flush. But if you knew these details of my pulse that crawls through me when you’re near. You’d know I’m at the doorstep inviting you in without fear…