1 of those things

its 1 of those kinda things. 1 dat u cant explain when words r exchanged. built up 2 b released. said jus right as theyre finally set free. on thumb tacks from both ends of da vision displayed inside a luv driven mind. tryin 2 find da time 2 grab hold of da thoughts as if plucked from a dream long ova livin signs. smaller than life. its 1 of those things where all else can go fuck itself b4 ud give in. findin a friend 2 live n spend some valuable time with. it is what it is. n it is 1 of hose things dat when u get a grip. ur on 4 1 hell of a trip. a drug of some sort. givin u 1 of those feelins u wont soon abort when aboard. bleedin out ur heart quicker than ud want. grabbin hold like 1 of those things wrote down in a poem that says it all. hittin da sweet spots expressed in da eyes of a lover. touchin somethin within dat if not careful it could hurt. its 1 of those things when u hold it u jus kno. willin to grow old n enjoy lifes lil flow. spilled upon sheets of paper, words cant come close 2 tellin ur tale. and even if it tried n gave it a spin it fail. its 1 of those things u cant erase from ur face. bcuz uv become 2 luv da taste. its one of those things.

twiddled phrases

on deaf ears as i speak.
words unspoken through the teeth.

unheard and never read.
sometimes i wonder if they ever will before i'm dead.
groups of thoughts streaming out.
screaming in silence out loud.
tongue over worked and under used.
twiddling phrases til it's no longer confused.
it's a trigger effect dreaming it's way through slurs.
drumming a beat that can't be heard.
moving to it's very own rhythm.
with it's very own unique system.
letters groped as formed into hooks.
digging into the nothingness, listening to an unwritten book.
minds been playing games and looking at self.
to riddle a line that just may help.
who reads jotted down expressions in a world gone wrong?
no one has ever said life is too damn long.
the spoken diddles plucked from within live.
more than i, as even i won't give in.
busting eardrums of those who choose to give notice.
slipping on the wet spots putting things into focus.
clingy little blogs.
bringing feeling to an half done song.
satisfying a place in me where i hide along side my mind.
just to be published in time.
voices falling short.
missing valuable chords.
abc's unable to touch a single life.
restricted to becoming old without ever knowing if sentences can cut like a knife.
freeing the one thing we should never hold in.
yet i am still unable to grin.

for a living

i haven't found anything quite like it as of yet. nothing seems to settle the nerve the way it does. there are many other things to do with my time. i can't put aside doing just anything for a living. but mediocre is not me by far. stuck in a warehouse is not my cup of tea. office politics is for the birds. i don't think i can kiss azz very well if it came down to it. you see, the things we do day in day out are what we experience. it's these things that makes our lives. good or bad. enjoyed or troubling. what we chose to do is our choice. this is why i can't climb aboard any lame azz job. the way i see it is we all have one life to live. and the path we walk tells the story of our lives. making good time in something you enjoy is important to me. in every little thing i do. me as the same as you have one shot at every movement and descission we make. so why not live the way we want? why not be able to wake up and want to live? this is not just an employment factor. everyday life is amongst us. and everyday is another day that looks as if yesterday is creeping it's unfair self too damn close to the comfort in which we like to live. money is always an issue. if it wasn't we could do about anything and go about anywhere. on deaf ears as i speak. words unspoken through the teeth.

all blown up

pen dead.
inked dabbed n bleed.
livin in a reality no1 undastands.
stabbin @ da way folks stand.
spread n smeared.
checkin self everytime i glance in da mirror.
diggin in 2 da sheets.
paper learnin shit grown men cant seem 2 c.
fine print all blown up.
grown n waitin 4 others 2 learn from their lumps.
linkin phrases.
freein bittin tongues jus in case.
beatin down letters.
feelin so much better.
visions unheard.
verbalized silently, listenin 2 words strokin da brains open nerve.
visually unexpressed.
splatterin spit cuz its whats bein missed.

bars on the heart.

gettin use 2 somebody is hard.
cuz if it doenst work, some1s left with the scars.
bars on the heart.
with every moment spent, fallin so far.
face down and beaten and chard.
doing only one part.
lookin for a new start.

in da heart

where is home?
dat place dat makes u feel da way u felt b4 u were grown.
whens the last time uv been there?
back b4 maturity cared.
whens da last time u felt its complete package.
b4 life sent u on a rampage.
whens the last time u cared 2 share it?
n laugh about da bs.
home is not just walls that dont talk back.
its in da heart n dats a fact.
walls only pretend 2 listen.
holdin hung pictures missin.
where do u lay ur head?
rested comfortably in ur bed.
catagorize ur life.
do u feel cut by the knife?
or do u feel complete?
ready 2 look 4 a new home in da streets.
so wheres ur place where ur happiness rests?
dat place dat gets ur best.
passin tests in time.
in windows of whats been left behind?
grab hold of ur thoughts.
c what uv caught.
can u carry on the road uv chosen 2 grow?
moseying along side everything uv known.
is home truly in the heart?
if so where, which part?

is it real?

u eva stood back n looked @ da 1 u luv.
da 1 u fuck.
da1 u call da 1.
baby doll, hun.
is it real nuff 2 last o so long?
b4 everthing goes wrong.
da 1 dat makes it more than worth it.
fixin all da bs.
puttin 2 rest da mind.
fightin thru da grime.
walk away.
go astray.
is it settin in?
pretend it doesn't matter 1 bit.
get back wit me @ da end of da day.
when uv worn out ur stay.
tell me what uv missed.
make a list.
if u can answer dat uv got it made.
n there's nothin left 2 say.
yet if it somethin else u wish 2 take by da hand n save.
whats stoppin u from leavin 2day?
standin damn near alone.
can u find what it is u seem 2 wanna hold?
clear da mind n step in2 ur other selfs shoes.
da subconscious 1 dat lives dat life so true.
will u miss all within ur grasp?
do u really wanna play in some greener grass?
left droolin 2 have it back.
realizin ur better off without scabs.

r u game?

r u game? r u ready 2 speak names n get tongue tied n place blame y we're here 2day? r u willin 2 throw away ur shame n give in? give way n allow eyes 2 gaze in2 simple interactions n light a single flame. r u ready 2 explain how it is u feel when u play in da rain? can u welcome my stay? say my name. is it da flava u r willin 2 taste? chasin n closin da space between our unique ways. can u handle bein driven insane? do u have it in u 2 escape? breakin chains n savin face in da name of bein misplaced. 4 a lil while, while we roll round n misbehave. enjoy some long heavy pantin n sustain a moment 2 b enslaved. what is it u crave? dont pretend 2 save it 4 another 2 tame. in between luv n war we have much 2 gain. losin control tryin 2 maintain. r u game? r u feelin whats 2 gain of lips 2 taste? vibin in a pulsatin game we can absorb each others exchange of internal space. n as i now stand b4 u a man on my own silent stage. wantin 2 here ur every last moan call 2 me sexually as we relate. im jus tryin 2 play in ur world where ur safe. come out n give da healin a twirl @ everthing uv neva known, as i wait. r u game? lest play tag n smack azz. go crazy n give a flash. bare all n jus let it b ok. is dat good wit what it is u dare 2 find? meet me in da middle of da room. bring ur game n tempt urself 2 do what u do. let loose n find ur groove. lose part of u n feel da smooth silky moves. free all dat ur use 2. open up n soon ull feel somethin new take ova n show u who u really r. step outside n give it a whirl as ur makin it hard. sexin deep nuff 2 heal all ur unwanted wounds. ud find urself easin 2 sleep. driftin as if it were good nuff 2 believe. bring ur game n lay wit me 4 awhile. i can guarantee id make u smile. these arent jus words givin in. but me standin b4 u wantin in. wantin more than any other has eva had. of u, yeah im wantin dat. r u game? cuz 2 gether i dont think we can go wrong. b brave. walk on da other side n write a new song. 1 dat can b sung 4 yrs 2 come. til luv rounds da corners n points, formin what it is u woulda givin a life time 2 rub. hold, tickle, n show a lil more than da rest. it could jus possibly b da best thing u couldv experienced. game is not what im spittin. jus tryin 2 fit in 2 ur situation. rippin lines. pullin da hook out so u know i aint trippin. r u game? do u c me goin insane tryin 2 grab a hold? do u know what id do 2 watch u unfold? wrap urself round me. bcome 1. it could b fun.
c if its in da kiss of da beholder feelin da energy within u hold.
cuz im sold.

clown paint

clown paint. smudged n ruined by patterns bein traced. evil clowns expressed across a silent face. teeth like razors replace a pleasant smile. tucked in a misplaced file. lost somewhere in time. colors tastin of the unwanted grime. smears rubbed the wrong way. feelin the pain slowly settle in everyday. slapped, leavin hand prints on happy faces. abandonin the heart in open spaces. blues crossin boundaries in2 the reds. n there's neva enough bein said. another saddened clown broke n stuck lookin like a joker. without a gig feelin like a loser. a clown without a true expression. eyes a gazin in his direction is ju 2 much attention. drawin new lines 2 hide the disfigurement of the shapes upon his face. scarin away every1 cuz he can't pretend once the contacts been made. leavin runs spreadin his efforts beyond slaps thumpin. tell him what 2 do as if a mim or a puppet. as his giggle has been taken n replaced with someth
in that has killed his will. lookin strung out n ova dosed on pills. needin a good make up artist 2 put the shine back in his eyes. strokin a masterpiece that will neva cry. speekin without sound. feelin the discomfort of his frawn as it was flipped upside down.

(unfinished diddles)

when i c u imma giv u a kiss luv would b proud of. feelin dis thing dats formin in2 sumtin more den a crush. try not to blush as i try not 2 lose control n rush. n we can dat lil thing called luv.

hold n wanted in a way ull kno iv missed u.

on da battle field of luv n hate i found a worthy opponent. an individual dat refuses 2 lay it down or quit. holdin her own in a time of feelin out da moment. shes knows her capabilities n doesnt have 2 control it. checkin mate when time comes down 2 all but hate bein spent. yet knows how it can get when luv is abscent. watchin wit a crisp eye so a steady finger can fold it. layin down her trump wit a stroke of her wrist as she unrolls it. upward revealin what she truly has 2offer as da looks she gives says shes tired of da shit. ready 2 step up da game as if her eyes told it. she holds da cards of her own fate n knows it. spreaedin herself thin 4 no1 who doesnt deserve it. she has a mean game face dat plays a mans mind in ways they wish they had it. shes a perfect fit n a hell of a fix.

i gotta imagination ur givin a new outlook on. rearangin my tought process. n is on goin. ur playin a wicked game wit me. hide n seek til i want nothin but thee.

buncheees

jus so u kno, uv become more 2 me than any other.
n we've only jus begun as new found lovers.
yrs, it feels like iv known u 4 so long n its only goin on jus a few short months.
misplaced, re-emergin 2 pull me from a slump.
replacin the past wit everything iv was lookin 4.
u fit 2 a T, n im wantin so much more.
a woman version of me, givin it right back.
uv touched somtin in me, now im unda attack.
settin down where no1 has eva relaxed in my heart.
i neva knew it coulda been u by far.
complete, satisfied wit all u have 2 offer.
some1 who's way about, id neva smother.
i feel u deep in my bones, n everything wit u feels so right.
ur somethin come true, somethin outta sight beyond da skies.
as if we were meant 2 b, n i dont believe in such miracles.
yet uv got me goin crazy, uv become irreplaceable.
idk how u did it, but i neva wanna lose what we got.
buncheees n buncheees, u get @ all da right spots.
its u as a whole, da 1 i c me makin plans wit.
fallin further than iv eva wanted, needin ur kiss.
2 touch ur smile wit my lips, gives me even more purpose.
n 4 ur hand id bend ova backwards n run in circles.
luv, i can feel it when u come 2 mind.
luv, in u iv finally found my kind.
my other half, da piece i was born without.
bunchees is da word dat comes 2 mind, as i say it out loud.

perfect fit

grown. knowin when 2 c the realization it situations n keep it movin. findin a groove n expression feelins long nuff til da emotion stops showin. doin ur own thang cuz life refuses 2 wait 4 guarantees dat seems misplaced somewhere in da unknown. back n forth, tuggin n pullin u further away from da thrown u wish 2 hold. growin cold n givin in every now n then when faces smile b4 they lie n unfold. emergin 2 show truth n pain as da fool within flees back in2 its shell far from comfort. defensively protectin da stablility of da heart as it feins 4 another chance 2 endure luv b4 it once again hurts. learnin more of self fallin silently behind da days night as loneliness tells da dark secrets of da heart. playin games wit da minds blinded thoughts of ova emotionalized way it all begins as it starts. slowly creepin n hopin things cling 2gether close nuff 2 bcome more than whats been expressed in da passed as we try not 2 rush. thing is waitin is a game none of us really wanna play n we gotta know now 4 our own selfish reasons of som1 bein good 2 us. lookin 4 sumtin in some1 dats like no other, spendin seconds of days stimulated n satisfied. real n understandin dat every1 has their own walk, stridin along side dat special 1 dat is no longer hidin. peekin from da shadows cuz they've been abused in 1 way or another by some1 trustin no1. all in all people r jus dat of flesh n bone, cut deep n broken 2 heal til they decide 2 grow up n think bout what it is they wanna get done. neva forgettin encounters dat changes us all yet prepairin us 2 b stronger 4 da next round. standin up pickin our heads n eye off da ground, listeinin 4 dat 1 sound. dat 1 dat makes the pump in our chest feel so alive. a certain voice dat kills da pain n keeps us all feelin all those needed things inside.
turnin on what we want da most from time 2 time cuz we can not c beyond what lays in our chests. always returnin 2 mind ova heart in da end where a new beginin is a good thing n it feels like its da best.
jus attemptin 2 stay alive b4 our world comes crashin in as da walls fill in da space in btween da lights.
enjoyin 1 more shot @ da title after feelin dead, fightin 4 dat 1 dat fits jus right.

EVREY1S BEEN HURT

IF U KNEW WHERE U WERE GOIN. COULD U GET LOST RUNNIN OVA THE SAME OL GROUND? TRYIN 2 GET 2 UR PLACE U CAN CALL HOME. HOW MANY FACES WILL U OVA LOOK AS U 4GET 2 HEAR THEIR SOUND? IF U WERE 2 STOP CHASIN WHATEVER IT IS THAT KEEPS U DISTANT? DO U THINK U COULD PULL UR EYES OUTTA THE SKY N ENJOY A SINGLE INSTANT? U MAY JUS PASS UP SOMTHIN THAT COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE. CAN U LIVE WIT THE THOUGHT OF BEIN A LIL 2 LATE 4 HAPPINESS. IF UR WALK STEPPED 2 DA SIDE N TRIPPED UR WAYS, FALLIN, LOOKIN UP @ WHERE IT IS U JUS MAY BELONG. WILL IT B ENOUGH 2 WAKE U N C WHAT JUS WALKED AWAY FROM U IF LUV STARED IN2 UR EYES? COULD UR PASSION 4 INDEPENDENCE B UR DESTRUCTION? UNABLE 2 DANCE IN A DIFFERENT SHADE OF LIGHT. CAN U C ITS MALFUNCTION? IF DA WIND BLEW JUS RIGHT IS IT POSSIBLE UD LISTEN 2 DA HAIRS ON UR NECK AS THEY RAISE UP IN CURIOSITY? CUZ FEELIN SUMTIN IS A GOOD THING N UR MISSIN OUT. R U HYPNOTIZED BY DA IMPOSSIBILITIES? NOT STABLE CUZ U DONT HAVE CONTROL OR CUZ IS EVERY1 PAYIN 4 WHAT SOME1 ELSE HAS DONE? LEAVIN U HAVIN A HARD TIME FINDIN A REAL LOVE. IM JUS WONDERIN IF TIME STOOD STILL N U WERE ABLE 2 RELAX IN SOME1S ARMS N LAY 4 A MOMENT. WOULD U TAKE A CHANCE N STOP WONDERIN N A ROAMIN RUN FROM AN EMOTION UV SEEMED 2 TURN ON? N IT GOES ON N ON N ON N ON. WHEN WILL DA CYCLE END? WHEN WILL U ALLOW UR HEART 2 MEND? BEND DA BARS CAGIN IN ALL UR WORTH. ITS NOT GOOD 2 HIDE BEHIND A FROZEN IMAGE OF WHAT A SINGLE PERSON HAS DONE 2 U, EVERY1S BEEN HURT. 2 LUV IS 2 RELEASE DA KID WITHIN N FEEL AS FREE AS U CAN B. DO U FEEL IT? CAN U SETTLE UR DEFENSE N ATTEMPT NOT 2 FLEE? ITS OK 2 WANT WHAT U WANT WHEN U WANT IT, N ITS UR LIFE BUT EVERY NOW N THEN DO U EVER WONDER? WHAT LIFE IS ROLLIN IN BEHIND DA THUNDER N LIGHTNIN WHISPERIN UR NAME SOFT ENOUGH 2 PLUNDER A THOUGHT? SOMETHIN THAT CANT B BOUGHT. CUZ U DONT KNOW WHO COULD B DA 1. UNTIL UV OPENED UR EYES N ACCEPT 1S LUV.

TELL ME

tell me, hows it feel? theres some1 else moldin ur kid 2 b just like them. the kind u hate. there raisin ur seed in2 some1 u will not kno. ur own flesh n blood will dislike what they c in u. cuz ur neva around. callin another man dad. how does it taste? is it bitter enough 4 ya? fuck da bread. its not bout the $money$. quality time is bein taken n ur not fittin in. abracadabra, poof, gone. ur absent 2 the future of ur own bloodline. hell 4 all u kno, they could b bein mistreated. neglected, but do u care? dont look like it. u seem 2 appear as a deadbeat. pawnin ur own of on some1 else. n u wonder y u ur baby mama hates ur fuckin guts. r u serious? please tell me ur jokin. shit, she'd probably settle 4 u just tryin 2 b part of ur own bloods life. b a dad. do u kno how it feels 2 b ignored by some1 uv done nothing 2? lost n found by whom? its not bout the adult problems. grow up. dad n mom don't havta live under the same roof 2 co-exist. where is ur mind @? if ur so bout it, n fuckin real, where r u? can u feel me? ur kind makes it fuckin hard 2 find a decent woman. cuz of yall they catagorize all of us, n i ain't nothin like ur sorry ass. bend ur pride n look in da mirror. ur still the same person. wake up n take a peak @ what uv been missin. use ur brain n think 4 once. who do u want ur lil 1's or 1, 2 b like? n if not u, don't u think u need 2 change somethin within urself? cuz step dad is buildin up points n makin a friend. b a real dad n man up. take on ur weight no matter what. try fightin 4 ur responsibility jackass n tell me how that tastes. if u don't like im what im sayin. good! some1 needs 2 get in ur ass. yet y state the obvious n tell u 2 get a life? it's not like u giv a fuck right? jus remember u don't, they will.

your will

left in a moment, paused n waiting 4 the return of 1 more chance.
abandoned in time, caused by the lack of patience.
drifting away from a vague half smile i have a hard time remembering.
yet memories jump out when i least expect it, breaking me down all 2gether.
it's hard 2 realize your touch is gone somewhere it does not belong.
your a missing link, and it feels everything has gone so fucking wrong.

standing still in that place where emotions were stopped way 2 soon.
i can see your face of the last time we talked, and @ that moment it appeared our future was doomed.
are we all blind? who would've known 4ever never existed?
if i could have i would of held on, fighting n double fisted.
once lived, is upon a time ago i could not bare 2 lose again.
talking 2 myself i feel i became that thing you never saw, a dad wit a firm hand.
attempting 2 think n search my head 4 the reasons we had 2 part.
yet my heart can't find the comfort so i fail 2 build up the courage 2 start.
confused on a time line from dot 2 dot, did u die in 99 or in 1998 when i last heard your lips.
as them n my ears parted, looking back i cant help but 2 feel like shit.

and day 2 day your imagined presents speaks without a sound.
staring out my window in my time of living, @ this thing called life n look @ what i have found.
misery and pain, heart ache that is squeezing and driving me insane.
your a loss that eats me from the inside out, and @ the same time helps me feel the rain.
i am just wanting you 2 catch up 2 the present day of us all dying, trying not 2 give in.
as we wait 4 the sun 2 rest its rays on us as we spread life ever so thin.

i damn near forgotten all the things that felt so real.
i am just wondering with a few more seconds 2 spare, if i will ever heal?
the physical you has had its fun in the sun, just 2 be misplaced as invisible and betrayed.
but as long as i live, you'll make this full grown man fight his struggle 4 a chance @ another day.
4 it is your will that lives in me, never bending so another can have their way.
mama you know what it is when i say, i got your name in my right clinched fist letting them feel our unbreakable way.
we're not crazy by far, just misunderstood in ways we wish a mutha fucka would.
they just don't know the danger that awaits if they ever peeked under the hood.
it's just our way i know, unwilling 2 let a snake fake their way through.
keeping it as real can be, what else can i do?


your still loved, n very well missed!

yrs

yrs blinked n missed. passed by as if another page was flipped. lines read n seen upon the face as wrinkles settle in. showing age sneaking up once a yr as time seems shorter than a flowers petals are thin. where did yesterday go as tomorrow is now here, pushing it further from the memory. things change for everything is subject to change, and change is good and yet it is change people fear. lessons teach as we experience the sludge that clogs the veins time after time and again. forgetting what blood means as it drips faster than water falling like rain pouring out our hearts deepest emotions. songs finding new meanings that fade into pain and heart ache. just to be reborn in anothers smile. always wondering how we got to the present, scrambling for the passed as loved ones parish into ash. crossed over and missed in space once filled with good times that were never meant to last. kids growing more rapidly than ever. eye to eye, staring ones self in the face of a younger them they once knew. and its as if things were not meant make it through the test of times heartless grasp. moments in windows shut by the shades of the eyes blinds, closing out the light is all that we know is certain. breaking cold sweats in the middle of the night when the body is over heating. wtf is that all about? shaking off the bitterness left lingering on the taste buds marinated and drowning on words over flowing the mouth. then there is the feeling of growing closer to the inevitably numbing silence waiting to claim us all. unavoidable to say the least. and yet we rush time for tomorrow to bring us closer to what we want the most. happiness somewhere else where we have no worries. so we think. thing is, we can never get now back no matter how much we beg and plead. the yrs do not care. time will wash us up with the rain in its great cycle of life. recycled and fed back to a chance for a new life, a new creature can enjoy. and most will never get what it means to truly live life. lost with millions of others that never made history. there is no one to tell us what they were like. and if it was not for the etched concrete that displays a name they carried, it would appear like they were never here. yet what is in a name? even i share mine with many other allen morgans. yrs. months. days. hrs. minutes. seconds. moments thrown away everyday as if we really get another chance through religion. blinded by a higher being that offers the mind a cop out. one can not hide the fear they claim that can not heard. shoved away and ignored like it is a sin to think life is exactly what it is. as we are all trying to make the most out of what we hold so dear. as we stretch the clocks hands that tied ours down. just wanting to get its worth before the darkness falls from above as the dirt reclaims what it alone owns.

wantin it back

i neva had it
close freinds 2 grow with
buildin sumtin time can only follow
iv walked my own path n grown empty n hollow
neva hung long nuff 2 hav a crowd
make noise n get a lil loud
watch there kids grow along side mine
look back n tell stories of once upon a time
walkin a line iv chosen
has left me broken
standin still wonderin wat in the hell jus happened
lookin in the mirror chattin
as my own best friend
i feel iv lost myself im bent
dead iv bcum solo away from a past i neva had
troubled by whov i bcum,its sad
there is no1 there 2 call
no1 has my back @ all
i slipped thru the cracks
forgotten i flew unda the radar n i want it back
misplacin my life in the hands of my own mishaps
wakin from this long awaited nap
i jus want those dreams i had
the ones as i slept n passed couldnt grab
but it my b 2 late 4 sum1 such as i
nop time 2 stop on a dime
kids damn near grown n im 16 yrs in
9 left 2 go n i dont really kno where iv been
stubblin as o fool it dawns on my as i realize
iv been damn near swallowed by the tide
my name i all but a memory 2 those iv known
n im yet 2 find that place i call home
iv sorted myself outta a chance 2 smile
cheated my way away from everything that couldv been worth while
n what else is there 2 say as i cant hav it back
jus tastin those things i coulda had
it hurts cuz this is my life
1 in which i didnt wanna live without a wife
i seen myself happy with friends who cared
n yet im not like others, im rare
hard 2 find people that let it hang on the line
be themselves n hav fun enjoyin time
what else can i do 2 express where iv gone wrong
only if i knew how 2 put this in a song
id make sum of them green backs
n then mayb it b worth what iv turned on in my past
i lost a god i could neva c
n it ok cuz i can c what this life means 2 me
like i said i was jus tryin 2 find my way
n i took the wrong road sumhow n wound up here 2day
seachin 4 those happy tears
holdin a new luvr who seesm 2 hear
me wit out sayin a thing
mayb i can giv in 1 day n slip a ring
if i could jus disectin every in my way 2 where im goin
funny thing is idk where im headed or what im doin.

fine print

right there in btween the lines.
can u read its flow hidin the signs?
strain ur eyes n focus.
stare @ the fine print that leaves u motionless.
confused n flustered.
lied 2 like an unwanted bastard.
bein taken advantage of n hustled.
ink tricklin as its used as muscle.
can u understand the wordin?
jaw dropped n hurtin.
its there if u understand the nonesence.
lawyers n busted picked fences.
this worlds not set 4 the workin man or woman.
the only way 2 get by is 2 b as crocked ass them.
scribbling ur own rules.
leavin em wit nothin but drool.

godless

godless. in a world filled with brain washed idiots. not knowin lifes true meanin. purpose. mind shut down in fear. becomin dead 2 soon. thinkin there is so much more. n yet time is all we have. y waste its true power on imagined heros that turn 2 foe when its all said n done. when the light is all but a memory. n u cant remember anything. lost n gone 4ever. darkness has consumed. n where they r left motionless with hope? no where. no1 will ever know thier there.

love hate thing

its good 2 b filled from the inside out.
lettin sum1 in 2 find out what ur all about.
touch n feelin, patchin holes in the heart. becomin alomst brand new with a over due fresh start.
livin with a smile behind sum kinda purpose.
steppin away from ur everyday routine,or circus.
walkin n talkin, layin n sayin, hearin whats needin 2 b said the most.
back n 4th through da heart, sailin from coast 2 coast.
with meanin, pluggin the holes sinkin ur vessel as it stays afloat.
jottin down memories with photos once lived, once takin, once wrote.
who knows what faze guided by an unknown face will control ur next move.
tellin 2 taste the tongues spit wash away all gone wrong with its very own groove.
pushin the pain n all that's been done aside 2 allow it 2 happen.
seems u can only truly find sum1 when ur minds been a nappin.
feelin over whelmed by feelings buildin n formin in2 sumtin thats makes u happy.
consumed by these emotions that dont make u feel so nasty
so whats wrong with givin in when all u want is 2 be wanted by a friend.
takin da bumps n bruises that guide n tell us if it'll last til the end.
its a love hate thing that 4 some reason we can not control.
yet with repeated actions we find ourselves wantin mo.
lettin a stranger grip n repair 4 a brief moment til it fades.
reachin with red slapped hands feelin the left over pain.
triggerin self 2 learn more bout numbero uno in a time of practice makes perfect.
hopin 2 find somethin within some1 that shares the same desires that wont leave us hurtin.

my very own nut house

illusions spread thin. imaginary people bein blown 2 smithereens. dreams takin over the consciousness. livin inna world of superstitions. anything goes. be-friendin foes ridin brain waves as if i were sufferin. in corners of my mind where screams do the most hurtin. blurtin out obscenities. imitatin my very own reality. tearin the subconscious loose, so its seems. pluckin em out n forcin it 2 face its deservin end. its the dark side of the blackened light in which i live. where i have nothin left 2 give. pushin sanity 4 it lies straight faced. nothin is what it appears as even the other side will begin 2 fade. lost as regamortis takes control, settin in slow enough not 2 b noticed @ 1st. so i play in la la land waitin with extreme patience. 4 the day i can relate 2 u my pissed off vengeance. creepin slidin n hidin jus 2 pleasure the freak inside. n it helps 2 crack a smile on the outside long nuff so i can maintain the retaliation bein plotted in my head so u can not hear what sets me free. feelin what i soon will b, no longer steered by what it is thats controllin me. in my overy own nut house im finally becomin 1 as in a whole with self. releasin all the emotional anguish boiled 2 the pop, killin all possibility of recoverin 2 what is considered, anything close 2 fair mental health.

a lil fun

i got this evil built up inside. its got a voice n u n it collide. it tells me 2 do things. do not stop ur bodies drained. its hard 2 fight the erge. as feelins boil as memories reamerge. head games playin tug o war. losin reasons y answers made no sense all i c is the gore. come on in. sit down n attempt 2 settle the nerves. but b careful n choose ur own words. its waitin its chance 2 lunge. actin out all the lil things it never thunk. i try 2 tame the tste of retaliation but it resists ur existance. forcin long deep gulps regurgitated by ur performance. ooooh the hatred is 2 strong. n its been way 2 long. come play with the man in my head. help me ease the pain of his pretendin ur dead. im jus askin 4 a few minutes of ur day. 5 minutes n we can end all thats gone o so wrong n y it must obay. please i beg. release the torment i hold within, let my monster explain 2 u what will make it grin. its beaten n done. its had enough n only wants 2 have a lil fun.

rewritin the book

listenin2 ur body sway 2 a beautiful lil game.
i can hear the fine hairs breath my name.
light dim as u move passionately 2 the music.
easy n steady slowin the internal magic.
side 2 side eye playin with desire.
reachin 2 light a fire as i slip a smile.
burnin candles flirtin as u glide in perfect rythm.
erotic 2 ur core u got it down 2 ur very own scientific system.
knowin u got me sprung n stretched out.
ready 4 ur silky rub i could never b in doubt.
infatuated by the stare expressed on ur face.
feelin lust, luv n all the above, i jus wanna taste.
loosin all sight of any1 iv ever laid down.
listenin 2 the sweet patter of ur sounds.
whisperin a silent breath strokin a nerve within.
emotions n hormones r screamin 2 b treated with sexual sins.
intentions beggin 2 b takin advantage of b4 the nights end.
caressin ur breasts gently up my thighs im sent.
eyes rollin back in2 my mind as u stop @ my sweet spot.
peckin, lickin, helpin a grown man as u take top.
enjoyin how u do u as u do me with great pleasure.
takin whats built up n takin it out on me like uv never.
holtin 2 emerge 2 watch me crave ur irrestable ways.
climbin ur way past my chest landin on ur sit n spin thang.
ridin my face like a freight train wit no rails.
diggin @ my head, scrappin my scalp with ur nails.
creamin n feelin urself bustin loose @ the seems.
lettin go with the tongue, u slide down over the navel.
fightin the force bein penatrated btween ur legs tryin 2 hang on.
rollin, resistin 2 accept the bottom, 4 u wish 2 have control.
wrestlin with a will 2 have it ur way, we fall on the floo.
now runnin playin king of the bed, u spring 4 safety.
cought mid way by what jus may b everything uv been missin lately.
i cling 2 ur backside pushin n pullin as u moan helplessly.
makin our way back on2 the bed so savagely.
burryin ur head in the pillow as i give u my manhood.
hard n strong, deep inside rewritnin the great book.
page after page holdin out long nuff4 cum 2gether.
meltin ur wet n im ready 4 whatever.
with new chapters sweatin as it reads the naughty things we're doin.
n as we're releasin what we were born 2 explore where this is goin.
freakin a touch intertwined b4 its all said n done.
simultaneously givin in2 the eruption as 1.
we sigh outwardly in exhaustion.
hot n over heated, pantin in perfection.

jackazz

iv been 2 a bad place n back.
a good place n turned my back.
iv traveled roads n burned bridges.
stood 4 who i was n realized it was not what i intended.
iv forgotten those what i thought had my back.
just 2 turn n give it back.
looked in2 the future n seen nothin but blackness.
walkin away i found my own piece of happiness.
iv done things i still dont like 2 hear of.
makin my feel who iwas n i hate the fact that i felt done.
voices n faces remindin me of what i had become.
mirrored glass changin me in2 my on true 1.
there is so much i have 2 admit n accept.
n iv done just that as i can face the affects.
im no where near who i was.
fightin 4 reasons i needed 2 get away from me again.
i found comfort in knowin y 1 treats another as if their human.
lessons n scars r 1 in the same inside.
n from these i refuse 2 hide.
pushin me far from what i hate the most.
lonelyness n emotionless with out a conscience. lost.
i can stand now as a man 4 iv made the difference that was long over due.
watchin n checkin me daily cuz i can slip back in2 that same ol fool.
distant n knowin better i resemble the smile that glows upon my face.
4 i kno i am no longer that jackazz id love 2 break in half.

1 hell of a goodbye

1st arguement. those words chosen n spoken 2 b meant 2 hurt. im out, its a wrap, done. its over rated n 2 my ears @ a loss 2 the sounds made mumblin words. im not up 2 a life filled with everything needin 2 b fixed. if we can not talk. there's nothin 2 say. u can have the bullshit. iv been there b4 n i will stray away from the nest. kickin it over without violence, watchin it fall 2 its death. im not good with relations beatin n shaken beyond repair. im not built 2 withstand a luv in a way that no1 cares. n if it comes down 2 no longer bein friends, sorry but i cant do it 2 myself again. when my happiness i hold 2 myself clinched in my very own hands. wonderin if we can co-exist with the pain that everyone dreads. its not worth the lost time it takes 2 get that far n wind up in an empty bed. some things aint meant 2 last n when it gets 2 that point, i wont turn my head n blush. relations has its moments from the very first time 1 lays down their touch. from distant eyes 2 closed fists, i know when nuffs enough 2 say the least. but within each other i believe no1 needs not 2 tame 1 anothers beasts. yet allowin it 2 stretch its lungs as it lives n a window given 2 breathe. it does need its well bein squeezed n tampered with, 4 it 2 bleeds. yes iv faced n i know of the blinks peekin n long stares lookin in the mirror on the past. realizin where it went wrong as i can only try 2 firmly hold on as long as it lasts. thou i'll never repeat a situations i c comin with a bitter sour end. it'll get chalked, outlined. as im livin my life n holdin my fine line in the palms of my hands btween real n pretend. seein what loves bigger picture has planned as we playwith the thought of a safe place 2 remain. tucked snug beneath the days under the nights that gives in2 the breakin of a new day. attemptin 2 stay as i'll hopefully still b here when i lift my lids n awake. i cant go 2 sleep @ night doin impressions imitatin luvs as bait. wakin 2 sumtin that wont make me drift n pass as we c each other by. jus live n let live in our present presence or it'll b 1 hell of a goodbye.

behind the storm

i saw a sky full of clouds 2 day teasin me with a single openin emergin as a beautiful shade of blue.
it closed faster than i could blink n i didnt know what 2 do.
i stood silent n watched its crisp light fade in2 a hole like void sucked in2 open space.
the shade cooled my skin but i was left wonderin as it seemed 2 b erased.
as if swallowed by the rain or waitin 4 a better chosen day 2 escape.
i think i can relate 2 the puffy gates givin it rest so we can appreciate its phenomenal grace.
spread thin on the surface of the crust in which our feet trample n run.
yet it will appear behind the pillows in the sky like it never missed a beat until the storm is done.
patiently peekin thru the slits n openings, it waits 4 its moment 2 shine.
sharin the pinks 2 da blues that give more meanin 2 a chance @ a life time.
behind the storm awaits a scenic view made 2 b seen.
playin hide n seek, waitin its turn 2 set itself free.

da other side

can u hack da pads in ur mind?
da ones strappin ur arms 2 ur sides.
zipped up the back shakin a man inside.
can u fight n win witout ur arms killin 4 life?

can u release urself from what uv been taught?
escape da man they want u 2 become.
movin in opposite directions out ur zones.
can u see urself becomin insane with ur true 1?
can u feel da life tucked in ur jacket?
diagnosed crazy 4 ur own safe package.
thrown away as they sacked ya.
can u think u can really hack it?

can u feel the luv from DA OTHER SIDE?
hows it feel 2 have ur freedom always on ur mind?
locked away within da only 1 who wasnt suppose 2 loose his mind.
can u remember what sanity felt like when u were jus like my kind?

can u think if care to listen?
cuz u cant talk from da muzzle dat gots u moanin.
to da real word u seem 2 b missin.
can u hear4 me as i say we r all witness 2 u slippin?

high life

im all alone. there's no one here with me but my wee e eeeed! giving my lungs some flavor because it's in nee e eeed! absorbing the smoke from the buds not see e eeeds! helping my mind zone out as it gets twe e eeeaked! flying so hi i just can't belie e eeeve! i got this green shit at my finger tee ee eeeps! and i don't have to puff puff gee e eeeve! this time it's for my lips to enjoy thee e eee! as a flame rises to help only mee e eee! i think i'm feeling ee e eeet! the smell of the funk is so swee e eeet! it knocked off of my fee e eeet! i love smoking these tree e eees! they got a mo fo feeling so plee e eeeased! living the high life has got me living the dree e eeeam!! feeling good enough to say hee e eee! like micheal jackson with his hands between his knee e eees! im going to live my life as i damn well plee e eeease! i wish i could find some chee e eeeap! it is my last little bit so this icky is for the tee e eeeam! choke it all up to keep me together at the see e eeems! it's color is so bright azz gree e eeen! it's got my mind floating with the bree e eeeze! golly gosh wow chee e eeese!

Bill MIller's my Hero!

u shouldve seen it, he came outta no where.
i was a rookie, egar 2 do my part fuckin up, n he was there.
1 missed knot n i was slowly becomin a slidin goner.
an out line on the side walk, i thought i was a loner.
eventually smashin in a splat, free falling outta the clouds.
stainin my endin moments broken, decendin 2 the ground.
i remember it like as if it were as still as fresh as yesterday.
my life was saved n hes still my hero 2 this day.
we were jumpin over 2 clean sum glass as i was the first 2 go.
fresh in the chair with so much 2 learn, there was so much i didnt know.
sittin in my wooded seat oddly slippin downward n wonderin why.
then zooooom, i saw him out the corner of my eye as if he fell out the sky.
doin back flips he was air born, flyin proud n brave.
2 my rescue for i could not escape.
his dirt bike flew 1 way landin on its kick stand as it leaned as he tossed it with ease.
i thought i was in some kinda marvel comics dream.
n with his left hand he revealed his secret hero wardrobe, freein his true identity.
it was as real as u n i, as i speak with perfect sensibility.
he shined as if the sun was his right hand man.
n wasted no time 2 save a needy man from his world endin grand slam.
with his cape a flappin in the wind.
he made a life long fan n a friend.
the tights he wore clung as if they were painted on or was his actual skin.
decked out in a motor cross fashion, BM on his chest he hovered smilin with a grin.
grabbin ahold of the ropes i forgot 2 knot.
on a dime i came 2 a sudden stop.
i focused in, n realized he was levitated usin a single pinky finger, showin off hs strength.
as his side kick chizzy chad pulled me back over the wall with out a blink.
bill miller is my hero as he n his partner gives life 2 those in death defyin acts of survivin.
n out there waitin patiently 2 do his part 4 humanity, he finds it excitin.
this man actually saved my life
thanks man!