introvert...

magically misplaced is emotion somewhere in the heart...

mysteriously forgetting the shape of names carved...

as embedded in the mind once lived curiosities cure...

as the mind has forgotten how to give chase to wanting more...

hands like the warmth of pockets where it's safe...

not having to touch an other's transforming face...

as eyes roll into the memory hoping to find sign of life...

coming up short of thoughts hiding what resides...

sighs rustle in frustration wanting to understand it all...

there's a blockage in between the head n chest known as a flaw...

n it cannot be reached for a change to take place...

the emptiness is a comfort settling nerves without a trace...

it lingers within the walls of the core as it is felt...

needing a flushing to rid desires of the confusion dealt...

stuck in a rather strange mindset where the puzzle begins...

unable to comprehend why there's a what might have been...

only if the loosening could redefine a subtle soothe...

maybe a miracle can trigger a better use...

living with how one once had free will...

to give a lil chase so passion sparks a new thrill...

yet deep beneath the skin a twist has transformed a smile...

as what's needed to remember how self was versatile...

is to open up to enjoy someone without the fear of being hurt...

though the sleeves now wear a different kinda introvert...

wishing to overcome the nights craving to live...

even when asleep to feel a body would be worth the dip...

but it's come to be a stillness that rests in depths hungry to survive...

wondering how was it ever possible to believe in the hype...
caring only of self at the end of the day...
in the silence an unknown presence has taken interest in others away...

no treasure left...

upside down the glass tilts... filled with a getaway for the imagination to build... emptying each round attempting to forget... getting sucked into the music banging n fuckin with the mindset... slowing with every bottom the goes up... the tempo feeds the feel of becoming lost without luv... drinking potions recall details locked in the head... bringing them to life in a moment staring off into what's next... from the rim to midway around the ice... careful not to waste to poison thinking about paradise... jus wanting to relive better times for a lil while... avoiding the reality that it'll be gone come mornings lonely profile... there's no treasure left that helps tips up the fucks not given... for there's nothing else to remember but the has beens sailing on the horizon so forgiven... so it's a matter of resurrection so the heart can tingle somehow... having a nerve awakening that wants to reach for another yet found... as taste buds accept the flavor drank to get drunk... going back n forth in the mind over what the fuck is wrong with emotions being sunk... tapping into a place self jus doesn't belong... listening to old tones connected to the past with every other song... vision blurring to focus a lil more on faces that can no longer be seen... with the sway of the numb reminiscing to escape a reality that can only dream... slipping into a trans from the booze having it's effect... chuckling as if it's funny where one winds up once everything has been wrecked... stranding in the middle of a chaotic world all alone... hoping the beauty of having someone has a chance to be shown...as the hand grips a shot taken straight... loosening the body to move with a vibe easing the weight... opening eyes to notice the night needs a different outcome... so the smile stretches able to acknowledge what was no longer beats the drum... for there's still a bottle that has not been drained... an understandable image that gets the mood to remove restraints... gulp gulp pour another one waiting it's turn... getting on with the now of having self worth...

setting the pace...

i'm scared n no one knows it... anxiety in change is hidden from the texture of lips... there's a way others wanna get close to what they consider something real... emotion i something i truly fear... the next phase of my life has my pulse racing n my heart beating outta my chest... as the thought of the kids not having me around sends a vibe shooting through me that won't allow me to rest... i'm so sick of the sacrifice n jus wanna live... to ease back n enjoy a lil of life bcuz i have something to give... yet the i am petrified of everything outta the norm it telling me i havta deal with a lil while more... it's like everyone else gets to do all the things i thought i'd be doin instead of hiding what wants to pour... seems i ain't got no quit is still trying to get to that place in my mind... jus outta reach yet so far from what is occurring within known as the divide... trust got hear in this never ending cycle of pain... suffering from memories i'm don't wanna remember as i jus wanna escape... there's no room in my head for me as i'm so done feeling so fuckin empty... but i have others depending on dad that need a better way so they can be happy... i don't even live for my own smile as it's others i try to entertain... there's times the solitude drives insane... but i'm safe from tucked deep enough away others think i'm fine... n i hope one day i to can enjoy a lil thing called time... it's like i'm missing out on my own life always having to work... n the times i can do something i can't bcuz i havta hold on the the money so everything doesn't go berserk... i'm terrified of what it to come if i cannot find a way to slow down... faces are changing with age as there's no one to luv around... imma be one of those lonely old men that is found a few days after i expire... n it makes me wanna cry bcuz there's something in me that cannot seem to light a fire... as it's been dark enough in the stillness in which i lay... having to switch shit up one more time before i can ever consider a friend to stay... the secrets others don't know lives in depths strangling sighs... causing havoc behind the ribs that resemble bars as desires are trapped in the clink... i jus wanna be free to fulfill the dream lost in the mind's confuse state of what the fuck... even though my patience has been the key to getting closer to the rush... flowing freely to watch my luv'd ones gain from my will power paying the cost... n there's a minimum of two more yrs before i can ever reflect on the thought of a pause... n people wonder why i stay in my own lane... i'm not only rebuilding my life but giving a reasonable chance for mine reign... n it hurts but is worth every second it takes to set the pace... bcuz i know one day it'll all be over n it's on me to link the chain...

too much...

having relations past a friendship is jus too much work... it's like having a weight to drag around always demanding worth... constantly being so needy the fun ends freedom to be self... n so many believe it to be healthy jus bcuz the comfort within depends on an other's help... as the rotation of faces leads to heartache attempting to force the feel... with a mindset of attraction being the key ingredient for the heart to never heal... continuously wanting to know where someone is at all times... when this n why that can cause one to lose their mind... don't talk to this person to even judging friends that have been around longer than relationships tend to last... n the thought process overlooks individuality like a shadow on a rainy day as if something of the past... neglecting the fact that it takes two to maintain a mindset healthy enough to make it... n then comes the matter of having to fake some shit... space being invaded by a stranger turned into someone that jus does too fuckin much... having no alone time when it's the only true feeling knowing why the smart ones do not wanna fall in luv... jus to left due to selfishness that seek something different... as that's when one realizes it was all for nothing wishing they could get back the time spent... it's a capture n release for the game of saying one tried... jus long enough for the sake of filling a void that settles in to life... n when it seems to be ok it really isn't... there's always something that keeps the mood from transforming into the distance... as what becomes in between two can never be the same ever again... feeling the presence of birds lifts the feel from the knees as fingers rise to an occasions that ran... running for shelter back into the solitude where a real peace of mind resides... n self of all things never hasta hide... free from the restraints that trap intent... it seems when giving to someone one isn't allowed to vent... for the volume of conversations are turned up n tones get distorted... n yet, this is what everyone calls proof of what need to be aborted... claiming only cowards don't have it in them to stick it out... when in actuality what's best for ones own is a moment where the lips do not havta make a sound... n listening to the silence is as pure as the harmony of a favorite song... without having to cater to what another wants to hear, so why belong.?.

short n sweet...

everything has its very own unique kinda process... n i've been in situations that help me determine relations take time... i'm in no rush for relation to become stale as fingers do not feel the same when they touch the skin to caress... everyday is a good day to live life... n everyday one gets closer to what doesn't come over night... as patience feels the anticipation of luv evolving... taking into consideration that hope is created in the mind... with hinges on the hearts doors that keeps a continuous rotation revolving...

new beginnings

to allow self to live... moving with the change that gives... past a life so wanted luv felt as if it died... finding new beginnings moved by thoughts as actions play out to be life... to evolve n accept the terms that nothing ever remains the same... as smile reason with new faces that settles in the memories space... gaining fresh thoughts so time isn't wasted... adapting to what is to come from a different type of equation... able to resurrect the will to involve others wanting in... as people come n go making their own way through what they havta consider within... finding joy n chaos that go hand in hand... living to predict ones own future through choices made so an ease can wrap it self around how bodies land... so moments made are a feeling so crisp true purpose is moving forward like the nights ending days... to be is to refusing to hold back what could be if self is applied to spark a fire blazed... letting go of periodic trials that have a proper place in the head... it's what makes people uniquely different in experiences yet all in the same when determining what's best... n to keep the reality of it ain't over is to rotate with hope... it cannot be lost no matter the feeling that drags it down n away from home... to continue to have the tenderness of another opening up... for the keeping of friends to settle in for a cause to fulfill the emptiness' that cuss...

the painting of panting hearts...

they wanna feel what i have tucked away... n at times it's the girth that rest down between my legs... it being jus one reason to get a lil closer to who it is i am... damn, i gotta be careful with hands wanting to touch me with all the flimflams... there's always more to the initial interest that consumes eyes that go blind... as emotions aren't to be trusted without a friend that's good for the getting on with life... slow n steady is the rush they over look when coming straight for the heart... changing images in the mind of how the once came into focus wanting to tame what isn't easily disarmed... the mental concept is the lacking there of how even sex is to be on another level to ever get beneath the skin... though it's the comfort sought out that they tend to confirm as a reasonable win win... yet, it comes with a overlooking of facts trying to relate to what creates more than jus a thrill... if two cannot get to the adaption of relations there's no truce to ever sharing bills... for the seek hides behind walls where the most honest gestures wait on timing of knowing doubts have no grounds... n they wanna provoke feelings with demands to open up to a stranger into a norm that is yet to be found... but i gotta say the need to be had is a necessity as sexual preferences is as rare as raw intent... i'm a lil different n somehow they can see through the nice guy jus wanting to live... even finding a curiosity that strikes a nerve to roll around for the chance of an attachment to form... it's hard to keep self safe when natural tingles jus wanna spread their legs for the diving of a lil homemade porn... taking the mind on a trip somewhere off into daydreams fuckin with hormones that get me in trouble from time to time... as they ask why i remain single when good women would luv to enjoy a good man for once in their lives...

help me...

give it to me straight to point in which i need to know... from a perspective i can only assume sits upon its throne... i'm willing to come back down from the cloud i ran off too... yet it's gonna take a moment to relate truths coming together for a common use... help me understand the other side n correct what it is i believe i know... i ain't perfect, i jus came up with my train of thought due to what i've allowed with false hopes... but i ain't broken by far as the cover smiles with the clown everyone can see... i'm jus trying to get on with life n wind up where belonging doesn't always havta dream... so tell it the way it needs to be said as it's ur lips that babble that i'm listening to... like u i need a lil proof that what rests in the mind is real or a gathering of bad times that needs cut loose... help me comprehend a better image of another in a way it's not one sided... n the flow of a deeper friendship jus might open up so i don't havta hide it... i wanna hear what i've never been able to feel as i pretend others are all the same... there is no stone written on until i can wash the memory of all these played out games... there's jus too much bs in the head keeping me from witnessing worth the way it was meant to give... n i'm tired of resisting the recreation of something better due to my own stubborn shit... talking about my angle as it's the only one ever to exist... lemme sit in silence n take in someone else's drift... maybe i can learn a few things that'll help me confirm what was isn't what will always be... but don't touch me until we can communicate properly... jus go back n forth with me so we can openly admit a few things that hold us back... i'm not scared to flip the tongue for a rotation of words ready to spew of what's considered to be intact... for the jugular u should extend ur version of life n what you've come as u somehow evolved... i have this endless puzzle i cannot seem to be able to solve... n i'm thinking i could use a friend to help me with the pieces that do not tend to fit... from the other side of the equation that isn't as clear as an emotion believed to be so counterfeit...

rainy day...

during the downpour of rain coming from the sky... lets play under the drops that drip from above... loosening up our inner child n allow them to have a great time... running around with a heart wanting to live beyond adulthood's lusts... play with me without a care in this unreasonable world... showing life how we choose to spend time shaking of its yrs forced upon us... as wet as the waterworks slipping from clouds as in circles we can twirl... we could even become better friends as we jus do not give a fuck... enjoying the cool breeze flowing with the smiles created from within... beneath the trickling that touches the skin in a way it drenches the body that fits like a transparent glove... able to feel the joy of the chest chargin... awakening to a presence forgotten some time ago that revives a moment to adjust... come outside with me n release the restraints that restrict u from being who u truly are... laughing n having fun is the only thing that can knockoff the settled dust... lets dare to come back to life jus bcuz the chaos is what we need to rip apart... as we stand together when the moon gives a certain kinda light for us to reason with falling in luv... taking what is there for what it's worth... the freedom awaits for u to do whatever u want... we could go somewhere out in the wide open where chuckles doesn't hurt... like a work of art caught in a pause moving as we become flush... as it's our heat that keeps the pulse reaching for the puddles we dance in... for a lil while we can go halves the same as goin dutch... jus celebrating seconds that turn into a day well spent... making a memory as we give what it is that craves to open up...

harmony...

a lil rockin rolla mixed with a splash of soul... ooh the adversity settles the nerve listening to the stories to be told... take a bit of country n spike it with the funk that finds a groove as the pleasure tends to create a smile... filled with the ease of jazz jus to turn up the volume to the flow of hip hop's freestyle... the feel is in the vibe that loosens the peace within... right around the time the blues is slowed to ground back out jus before a lil instrumentals sounds off goosebumps upon the skin... goin back n forth through moods that adjust to the comfort sought out... reggae navigates its way through the system so the pop can come with a different kinda style down its own isle switching up sounds... tapping into the masterpieces forming a sense of relativity to ease life... goin to the extreme with rap n metal banging in the head to amplify the hype... as the alternative riffs slide into place for rnb to bob the head... at one with the rhythm giving without ever wanting anything in the return of a song well said...

lost in a moment to be found...

up under a tree on a hillside over looking nothing but peace... as natural as life can relax the nerve wanting to unwind with the need... lost in a moment to be found to ease back n rest with the sights of having no one around... out in the middle of nowhere where self cannot be found... done with the chaos n the games of social silliness... clearing the head of all the polluted thoughts in tuned with my own happiness... as the clouds form shapes in the early mornings rising... as quiet as the breeze that gives to the mood with no compromising... jus as is with the clearing of the mind to get back to what truly exists... settled on the thought of how lovely this world can be if one stops to admire its greatness... feeling the roots of life touch the heart shedding weight... as untamed as a the face smiling listening to the birds celebrate... whistling a song as the sun has wrapped back around to show the beauty of it all... as still as forever could ever be witnessed as a pause... without a flaw to the naked eye the scenery is such a sight to see... with today being the only thing promised for the mind to think...

help me relate...

what's the mood in which u seek.?. forgive me for asking but the answer is something i need... there's too many falsifications playing the mind for a fool... lips babbling on about one thing jus to find out intentions wanna take another to school... even the emotional type get ahead of themselves when they don't know how to act... as being to mental is a glorified justification of self being worth more than what others under attack... where's ur mind when it comes to heart.?. are u keeping everyone out due to the comfort you've found on ur own... finding peace within so fine u jus don't feel like opening up for another show... in all fairness, what's ur angle of operations.?. what is it u tend to release upon free will looking to find a friend n not castration.?. define ur level of communication here in the now of coming forth... there's no better time to adjust to the feel of the force... loosen up n help me relate to ur expectations so i can respond accordingly... the selfish intent hidden in mixed messages is boring me... mirrors can also be used to see the past... n that's where the games will rest with u if u intend to ur afraid of these questions i ask... so how is it u wanna spend ur days when looking into the abyss.?. in what atmosphere is it u wish to live.?. are u empty jus wanting to be filled with some sorta norm that makes u feel whole again.?. yet to twist another into a spiraling downfall of betrayal as within them u land... who is it ur wanting to locate in this chaotic world made of characters.?. to breathe knowing the heart has a caretaker... along what lines of comprehension is it u have come to be.?. are u wound up from something that occurred some time ago or are ur actually free.?. move to the left n look beyond me standing in front of u... do u see something else or is there a crave to rotate ur eyes back towards me waiting on a use.?.

when walking the edge...

what is it u think when u think of me.?. as the doors to ur mind open up n i appear in ur dreams... what roll do i play when walking along the edges of the backside of ur eyes.?. taking on ur thoughts to be as free to the way u feel me in ur mind... do i give u a chuckle from time to time.?. helping u bare this world n all of its swallowings of life... or is it more subtle as i'm jus someone who jus is.?. being no one of importance as all we wanna do is live... giving a friendship a shot to find a comfort in another who don't mean u any harm.. n ain't trying to dig the sanity outta ur very own heart... if i were to come to u in a daydream jus as easy as a breath taken... who would i be in ur visions when they come to terms with when u awaken.?. is there a tingly feeling of wonder that u keep on a hush... never to say much other than a respectable trust... as lanes do not merge for the better cause of remaining safe n sound... able to adjust emotions interest in secrecy as ur days move with the motion never said aloud... where is it i fit in to the periodic glimpses u see in ur head.?. am i even in there somewhere causing a ruckus in thoughts misled.?. or is there a deeper passion over flowing from desires waiting for the right moment to pounce.?. or is it there's no chance to even take up the space in which is in between ur ears as i would be denounced.?. whether it be friend, foe, stranger or other knocking to get in... where would i rate on a scale of one to ten.?.

luv'n some me...

i wasn't made to feel a certain type way... 
never once ever meant to hide my honest use...
i jus got sick of the mood leaving me to never be the same...
so inward emotion went to become whole again by focusing on being recluse...

years got lost n the smile took a hit...
it got old as fuck constantly having to redefine myself...
changing into a different version i never knew could exist...
n when speaking so many say that my words are felt...

mastering the tucking of behind doors not wanting anyone to find me...
i waved with toodles to what once was...
to reconstruct my mindset doing away with useless dreams...
when i found me in a mirror wondering what the fuck...

shoulders didn't even lift in disgust as i flew the coupe...
i was not meant to continue with the chaos in which i had gotten lost...
as hard as it was to step back it was even easier to accept the bs let loose...
as it was evident that i was a lil more than wasting around to the rot... 

as i looked myself in the eyes fixing the issues i had allowed...
creating a mixture of depths surfacing for the mind to adjust behavior patterns...
wrong was expressions falling in luv with the feel of exaggerated frowns...
as life itself reasoned with me to tell me i mattered...

n how i forgot this lil detail is beyond my wildest thoughts...
stirring the nonsense of corruption that plagued who it was i was truly without...
it was me i had to go deep enough to pull from fear holding my flaws...
using each one against me to gain control so i never wanna come back out...

n yet, it wasn't in me to submit to such standards that gave up on me...
i buried myself somewhere jus long enough to correct the situation staring at me in every reflection...
with a no quit mentality i dug to survive a low self esteem...
n when it was all said n done i turned my back on the depression...

it wasn't for me to be split into two halfs fighting a battle i coulda never won...
so i took consideration in my own will to invest in the cracks to be healed...
n now i can awaken not having to go with the flow as i am my own way having fun...
yes, i am jus one but i am real...

n the lessons that poured sits in written rhymes for whoever chooses to read along...
attempting to relate to the realness of this world... 
awakening the emptiness of solitude's played out song...
i am not a piece to someone else's puzzle when i put myself back together as fingers took a whirl...

as the bottom is where i bounced back to my feet...
believing in there is a true guidance no one else can give...
able to feel my heart intact with a better sense of what character really means...
i stood at my ruins n forced an opposing reality in which i demanded to live...

n now it's jus me n my inner child sown together at the seams...
free from the twist that consumes passion enslaved...
all by my lonesome i've come to terms with what helps me breathe...
n i ain't been this content to jus be since i've been given my name...

daydreaming at night...

it would be nice to hold someone every now n again... just laying still n talking, attempting to become more than friends... in the silence of arms where only heartbeats live in content... it would ease the mind from all the wonders that could be more frequent... just to believe again would be a miracle to say the least... as the lonely feeling comes around to fuck with the mind keeping it free well deserved dreams... where's the hope that needs no words to create a feeling more than worth the extra effort to let someone know they're welcome to stay.?. to laugh n roll over the bed like lil kids lost in the moments tasting just one name... allowing self to open up without picking another apart seeking a will to enjoy natural intent... it would be great to resurrect the emotion settled into the nerve where it feels it's safest n most content... as it's the memory that reminds what's been hidden beneath the smile where life forgets it is still going on... triggering desire to throw a spark to ignite a reason to look up for a different kinda norm... in a new reality where there's another face that gives a lil more purpose to the rotation of days landing in the middle of nights... fading into the darkness as if neither need the sense of sight... able to grasp the realness in a mood never to change... it would be something to actually meet that one who never turns away from uses that need not be tamed... coming around to just kick it until the inevitable sneaks up on the evolution of passion in tuned with the thrill... with on foot in front of the other wanting to make it happen so thoughts can finally be filled...

join the flock...

why do u believe ur so much different than the rest.?. what makes u so unique when everyone jus like u claims to be the best... giving ur all to someone who jus threw it away... n now u don't wanna hear anyone call our ur name... as u hide behind a line of bs n smiles forced to make others believe ur alright... u must be new or still hung up on the bitterness bestowed upon u here in life... n it doesn't look good on to allow what was linger in ur every thought we all can see... we've all been there yet u like others demand for the rest of us to go along with the self righteous freedom u tend to need... knowing we starve for some sorta attention even when we act like clowns.. yet if someone was to get close enough to touch u would u stick to what comes from ur mouth.?. living a well preserved life where emotion ain't worth a fuck... when the silence in the middle of the night tells on u n how u refuse to trust... but i bet it be nice to have someone to hold here n there huh.?. without rushing into the feeling of falling back in luv... we ain't so much much different in the way we go on about our way... some of us can admit it as it ain't no ones business as some remain afraid... turning another page day by day acting as if they're better off than what they truly are... running from the memories long enough to where new ones are needed to believe in the heart... u havta realize we're all in a process in which chapters are written a lil different but the story sounds the same... so what character are u portraying to be trying to find some kinda worth.?. bcuz even i used to be so many other things before i found these words... asking u of ur own angle to a life u live... why do u feel ur so much different like we ain't shit.?. jus bcuz u have or are finding a new u once again... we're not ur enemies but jus some common folk like u trying to make a stand...

as real as it gets...

if my words stumble over my tongue, will u ever forgive my silence lost in a dream.?. as i know u are the one listening for my voice that somehow doesn't sound like me... believe me if i get scared i don't meant to resist the urge to hold u tight... there's jus things i do not trust that i'm coming around to allow someone back in my life... jus wanting to ease in as slow as time will not mimic my past... to be able to reason with u as we make our way through the sighs that eventually gasp... don't be alarmed if i come at u a lil different that all the others have n do... i'm somewhere else in my head taming my emotions so a friend can find me n put me to use... opening me up is the hardest thing to do when i know what i want... n for what i see i'm in no rush to ruin what could very well be like evolving into a rare kinda luv... i don't mean u no harm is i mute intent ... it's jus so i know for sure who stands with me as life is spent... this world is so chaotic it's difficult to tell one loon from the next... n if u ever feel me holding back, jus believe i'm no fool n move with precaution to obtain the best... not as in perfect but for comfort to settle the nerves... it's not easy attempting to create a honest worth... as raw sensitivities are at stake that don't heal so quick.... there's so much more to relations than the tenderness of a kiss... so by chance i don't seem to be with it n ur questions arise... i'm jus doin my damndest to give to u what i have inside... hidden away to be released like a time capsule waiting to be placed in ur hands... as simple as the basics can be show to the naked eyes in which the way i stand... i'm jus one individual willing to see where things go... to witness age claim the face so neither of us will ever by choice live alone...

At peace...

The best music has no lyrics...

Like a heartbeat that's free from lips...

Playing to the soothe of a rhythm...

Easing the details within ones system...

Untouched by twisted tongues...

Without verbal control capturing the hush...

Jus listed to the flow of ones own life...

It's ok to fall in luv with what u find...

Create motion through sound...

N live with the comfort of closing the mouth...

Let the harmony lead the way...

Putting an end to emotions tamed...

Able to enjoy self for once...

Can u hear the noise silence the chaos of the rush.?.

Vibinv to the feel of what can't be said...

Feel it orchestrate a new pulse going left...

Hearing thoughts ride a masterpiece as it breathes...

Allowing even dreams to be free...

Anything can come to life with a tune...

Moving with a melody put to use...

In no need of a song to claim its sway...

Jus being in a moment of ones own gain...

In sync with what one perceives...

Like the breeze blowing through the trees...

blah blah blah...

hold tight ur reasons that help ur comfort live safe n sound... but don't make too many rules for they will pick everyone else apart as self gets lost n unable to be found... tricking the mind into a disbelief of the lies told in mirrors that only mimic a prior pain... stand for what will make u n disregard what u know will break u down in so many ways... yet know if u believe everyone is the same... you'll find a lonely road of insanity bouncing off walls calling out ur own name... have ur list of what it'll take to open back up... jus don't go overboard with nonsense n stick to what u know u can truly trust... from a lesson learned to the evolving factors that have matured... don't become a prisoner within for it's a different place felt to be so insecure... living in the dark for sleep is something set to the side... all bcuz one chooses to dismantle another to be right... as if a haha is a need to show everyone no one is real... don't hide for too long for it gets harder n harder to feel... even if healed the peace n quiet settles nerves unwilling to come undone... chasing off anyone having an interest in removing the gloves... you'll find a friend will havta turn away every time... so lighten the load n simplify the list for potentials to ease ur mind...

resurfacing...

it comes back to the feel jus beneath the skin with a linger wanting to live... giving thoughts peace to come together from the scattered mind shook yet no longer lost in the rambling of lips... n the wanting of a kiss is to hush the nonsense that builds into a silent crave... remembering what it is like to enjoy another pressed against the chest unable to recall any pain... hearing a familiar voice that shares a luv more than willing to adapt to life... evolving in the same direction as emotion eases the smile to lift so high... as the empty feeling of having no one is filled with hope so ready to resurrect pieces hidden within... seeing the light in another's eye shine like a twinkle when self steps into the sight baring grins... yet it ain't until comfort settles on nerves that one can begin to accept how much more fun there would be with someone else... hearing honest tones behind closed doors bounce off the walls n come back needing something felt... knowing how much the heart wants to give a chance to trust once again... for it does have a real sense of expressions it demands to use before the end takes the ability to find that gain... apologizing to self for waiting so long will appear in the dark... making every lil lie told in mirrors see as a way to cover the disbelief in others when the truth is we all come full circle to wanna play the part... to witness a new face trigger reason of why not loosen up... it'll return to the sooth of dreams once the head clears itself from the fairy tales that no longer leap from the tongue... having an ability to claim details tucked away for better moments where reassurance is a thing... recalling the connection in between that creates a mood worth the temptation to thrive with a certain sensitivity that clings... from outta nowhere a single thought will unlock the vault of secrets where pleasure resides in their rawest form... forcing the rethinking of compatibility to admit how self jus wishes to protect a stable sense of norm...

the discomfort in walking away...

falling away n feeling the guilt self doesn't deserve... once the situation forces the issue which friend actually didn't have the right amount of worth.?.  one attempting to give a chance without doubt... n the other who hid details that emerge to no longer having their presence around... both having interest in willing to see where life would go side by side... if they can just make it through the getting to know phase that determines life... when finding monsters unsettled in moments feeling a pause in the heart... the mind goes through thoughts on what's best hearing the blaring of alarms... over looking the red flags always comes full circle when fingers point at the innocent one... with patience in wanting to believe fails to show what's truly needed to carry on with luv... emotions get attached even when they are held back so self doesn't get hurt... it's the comfort in being near someone that tends to grow with metaphorical birds that try not to flip up a chirp... all due to one or the other hasn't corrected a thing or two that is vital to the well being of the mind... something over looked by most claiming to be real enough to lie... believing they're to be accepted as is without fixing a left hook that swings from the blindside of hope... one begins to remember after spending time with another that cannot maintain, why it's alright to be alone... yet, as that image causes unwanted pain in a good way one can feel sanity loosing its shit... it's bothersome to know the struggle to meet someone with common interests is so fuckin hard when someone unknown who gets it exists... to have a mutual like to things without the baggage of dead ends is the goal to enjoy passions fully alive... but it comes around that faces change for reasons so self can get past the hype... in the drift back to the way things were prior to that first hello is the hardest part... never to see the outcome play out in a way where no other arms would ever wrap around a work of art... a nerve is touched by the involuntary decision to remove self from an equation that won't turn out so good... the reality grabs a hold of the basic functions that are triggered by a fear with a different look... from a far as memories are stored safe is the in between of them being scattered here n the there... shook by rational logic another one is to be forgotten as if self never fuckin cared... as the liability is sought out as a fault for leaving discomfort is blamed even though self knows the truth of why it must be... as bad as the connection is to be lost the peace within mustn't be disturbed for it is remain free... like the hand that felt another in the middle of a blink of an eye allowing the pulse to grow softer... patience is a necessity for one to come along to fulfill an empty place that has been reconstructed with a lil dabbling within to comprehend what self has to truly offer... if fortunate enough to see fit of how one is another can be mature with a caring humorous side... maybe then desires can accept relations that never havta say goodbye...

alone with u, coming from within...

i couldn't help but to think of what a few hours alone with u could be... as my mind runs on pure adrenaline n sexual intent craving what we should set free... the attraction alone is something nerves untangle from... reaching for each n every ending wrapped around a night coming undone.. n there isn't a fuckin thing i wouldn't do to u to show u how bad of a thing i have for u... damn i jus wanna touch u as u gasp in the most erotic way as u put me to use... diggin into all those lil daydreams u don't tell any other so they can feel me pushing for u to explode... as i understand what to do with this overwhelming need to undress n please u when alone... tongue having its own tricks from the neck on down to inner thighs that create sighs wanting to live.. hands flowing long ur curves n gripping ur hips as it ur eyes the roll behind ur eyelids... the beast in me wants to play with u in ways 50 shades seems to be soft porn... n all i wanna know is when can we get involved so ur desires can be ravaged as an ongoing norm... for my curiosity caught a glimps of u barred in the nude getting it the fuck in... n i'll never be the same with this fire within that heats up to the shape of ur grin... our bodies can dance in a way they coexist with the mood that fits so snug... in motion n in sync with a groove harmonized by the pulse rushing to every single thrust... i can not lie when i say the enjoyment would prolly blow my mind... as that is the one thing i wanna cross before fingertips ease upon the fine hairs that soothe a tingle moving the spine... from the back to the front n dipping into a drop up n under the way u drip... u awaken something  deep within me i can't help but to speak on so i know if i have a chance to taste ur lips... kissed n made to loosen to the tenderness of real intent catering to the balance of being taken advantage of... mmm, jus to watch u submit so i can have a lil bit of fun...

Why should i.?.

Why would i wanna spend time with u.?. Then sit around with thoughts i cannot use... Missing someone who will tare me apart... Even though not being intentional is the fucked up part... As emotion wouldn't wanna levee my mind the fuck alone... Distributing my well being when silence is heard in the dialtone... Having to let go of something in another dead end... Jus to have to repair the memory of a new list friend... One who's gone n drifting further n further away in life... Why would i want u on my mind.?. To play peekaboo with the wonder of what was some sorta hope... Jus to infect the chest with hidden flaws... Knowing damn well u knew the details laid in ur palms... There's no need in pain unless secrets are not barred... N i don't like to be hurt so who in the fuck cares.?. Friends before foes fail with false interactions... Where would i be if i let u in to lie about red flags infractions.?. To submit to what i do not know... Believing in all ur hyped up demands i can't help buy to think are whoas... It ain't u bcuz it's everyone else saying they're not like u... The same way u claim ur so different so eager to prove... In what sense should i consider the joy to be tampered with.?. As the stranger in me ain't so quick to embed u into my wits... Some shit is jus sacred until a guarantee presents itself... So why should i give u moments of my life that jus may go unfelt.?.

naturally...

only if one could alter a few things to make shit work... knowing no ones perfect it would be so nice to let the heart feel worth... fuck living with a heavy heart having to walk away... even though there are details in each n everyone's design that triggers the ugly to become untamed... jus to reconfigure a piece here n there... allowing another to speak on what it would take so the heart can truly care... yet, true origins from deep will never come to the surface to play... always hidden until one day outbursts feel a need to reconstruct the gestures upon the face... with there being certain attributes that rub nerves the the raw ends of wrong... causing a sensitivity to live with a feeling of always trying to get along... as others cannot see what has not happened as of yet... missing the point of seems woven hasta have some sort of pattern so the comfort can snuggle to the pulse pumped from the chest... most never make it past a friendship that doesn't seem to go on... as from emotion the mind must pry them prior to self being torn... knowing the simplest touch from someone that has that spark has ignited a curiosity set free... jus to believe it to be a different outcome due to what words tend to leak... what if the correction could be shifted to the need of change that transforms another into what someone wants.?. not in an ex but in a reason to stick around bcuz one is safe wrapped in arms that trust... as the option is never natural so it must tic with time to find out... waiting with patience to witness a luv'r have characteristics self must live without... sucking beyond the expressions that follow the silenced tongues afraid to let them go... though in doing so it's felt as another loss as the mind roams alone... wondering if they knew what would shove the desire to want them away if they'd distribute to the struggle hope... n not jus go one with the flow that caters to someone else as false contributions are shown...

boom.!.

boom.!.  conversation goes back to having no one to talk to... right when comfort found what could just be that one friend... left shaking the head at the letting go of ends... knowing their face is gonna get lost in the crowd as contact is to loose trace... n even worse is their voice is to go unheard due to technicalities self isn't capable to embrace... boom.!. strings are cut loose... there goes another friendship redirected by actions that have come out to play... n the feeling of damn comes to terms with sighs so disappointed in the outcome of how tones shape names... when the closer one got the more the tingle came to have reason with a smile finding its way with life... becoming for  a brief moment a chance to show truths of how one conducts motion n thoughts out in the open baring the mind... boom.!. the let went down into another tale of how eyes looked beneath the skin... released by the same hands that felt the tenderness of use coming back around with grins... right about the time of waiting long enough so emotion could snuggle to a moment laid up with a lil more than hope... the chest cavity caves in form signals from the brain that speaks of the pain that is on its way so self must avoid the danger n remain alone... as tasting goodbye once again to save sanity from an other stare gone too far... the misplacement of what leans in disappears before  someone new can ever tare self apart... boom.!. there's an emptiness in the room...

mental health...

it ain't the emotion scared to be felt trying to get to know someone from the inside out... it's the losing of yet another friend if things don't work out if the mind doesn't learn to calm the beating of a certain thumping sound... thoughts linger in a loss that stir up pulsating pounds ripping desires apart... n it ain't until time eases on by that one can feel a lil normal once the attachments are cut from a far... it's the mental aspect of relations feared by those who find comfort in the maturity giving in... for passion itself taking to many blows by the lack of character others possess can rearrange a face from within... thought others may claim most are damaged which only speaks of the ignorance of diving into luv jus to feel something to carry on... unable to step back n evaluate a situation to comprehend if it is indeed a good thing to go from strangers to creating something along the lines of homemade porn... comforts ain't a linger in the chest wanting to explode upon contact with a sexual preference saying hi... but the fact of the matter or two individuals actually coexisting in a harmonic vibe... so to say people are petrified of opening up needs to be clarified as which mindset folks obtain... there's nothing worse than the tingle turning soar as chaos leaps from tongues to destroy any n all pieces of self confidence jus to pretend self is a so called saint... n it becomes unattractive to dug up depths to so many others that never stick around... as the isolation truly becomes a sigh of relief knowing the safety of ones own thought process is well intact... it ain't about the fixations eyes cling to for hormones to get a rise... nor the lack there of to wanna fuck here n there that causes a string to begin a pattern with another that is said to be about fuckin time... the stillness in the head is key to attempting what so many fail to be able to grasp... yet who's to say who is wrong for trying on a smile to see how long it'll last.?. picking at the beast chained to the inner makings so no one gets hurt... there's a reason the restraints ain't coming off for a stranger that bypasses real worth...

conduction...

how would u be able to be the maturity i need so i don't havta sound the alarms.?. jus by being u in the way u comfort chuckles in a world jus getting along... n collaborate with actions to make sure my mind is in no harm... able to be as real as truths listening to more than tones as motion sways with intent wanting to belong... what of emotion waiting to do more than hope for a friend.?. who are u as u come in the moments yet to be seen.?. opening me up with expressions that hold every word spoken... able to conduct outside of thoughts that linger on facts n no other false dreamt up dreams... where do i fit in to ur daily routine adjusting to be held.?. without rearranging the basics of ur smile that took this long to raise on ur own terms... moving in a drift that tends to comfort use when sighs create what cannot be spelled... snuggled up to my side for a good portion of the remainder of life having a worth... do u crave the feel of the tenderness more or the mental aspect of touch.?. felt in ways passion triggers desires due the proof... tangled up in the middle of the chaos that surrounds the mindset wondering of luv... can u comprehend the vibe reaching for a different outlook free to cut loose.?. hearing more than a heartbeat as the individual within would rather relate... playing with a humor so willing to jus be for relations to finally evolve from misfortune... will i be to u what u are to me if fingers were allowed to caress the face.?. on a no bs policy of having one another in mind when behavior is intact with a belief that there is no other fuckin option... is there a reason in the way ur eyes follow me through ur mind.?. whether it be a selfish need for yourself or a chance to give on another level where playful gestures are enjoyed... u see there's so much more than the tingle of things that make a guarantee understand why... so do u have the time to figure out what patience can adapt to to fill the endless void.?. in ur own space n with someone who has corrected what it is u wanna witness grow old... wondering of the content in ur mindset that plays out... knowing what's best for self on my end so i know how to come at u the way the give n take is never controlled... in a bigger picture of getting it in as hands not only lead but are led by having not one doubt...

snip snip..

feeling let down from time to time... accepting interests that wrap back around to remains with no one in sight... having to step back n recalculate the depths of a friendship truly sucks... jus to spent nights alone losing belief in others rushing a false sense of luv... as compatibility comes to a crossroad of what's good for the mind... so it can relate to the heart for its own good that the moving on is nothing more than a sigh... to release what was building a liking due to shit jus changes intent flipped... knowing it is what it is n it's gonna be a while before another attempt is allowed to reach n land for any type of rearrangement wanting to live... disappointment clings to nerves long enough to shake the brief feel of wanting to tenderize thoughts... to get in to the cat n mouse like game in the head jus ain't as fun when proof fails to maintain in the showing of flaws... accepting there's different levels of yes's n no's that are configured along the way... winding up turning attention to prior solo adjustments that are easier to help self feel sane... it's a shame to get so close n be forced to watch a good thing fade into jus another memory... as even convo becomes a tone redirected for it hasn't the same purpose as an added accessory... slowly the volume of voices go unheard while the tingle settles any discomforts that felt their way inside... insufficient expectation unmentioned delivers the snip of strings restricting thoughts to be free of restraints that bind...

it's having no one...

it's having no one to talk to due to everyone always falls through when they're supposed to be flush... n yet, every time the bottom of their words metaphorically allows expression to descend with so called trusts... leaving the tongue without someone to talk to as days are silenced by the hush... seems the loneliness tends to confront the comfort to know where self stands on luv... as emotion lingers on ones own sitting around confused by the lack of use discombobulating thoughts left to lust... thinking who can one turn to to simply speak of the day just spent feeling the fluttering of being what jus was... twisted n gutted as nuts n bolts shake loose from the well being of the mind's comprehension of what the mind believed what once was... flustered on the presence of drifting inward as frustration settles in to the solitude as a must... so tired of giving to a new face that becomes an attachment to smiles enjoying a lil time in a repeat of what comes to end prior to the understanding of taking moments wanting not to cuss... like, fuuuuuck.!. losing the feel of wanting the need of someone to ever get close enough to reach for a touch... it only turns passions against desires in a heart stalling out coming in from the slush... conversation jus isn't as fun with jus anyone smacking gums n babbling lips that bruise the texture of willingness n such... it's having no one to lean in to who makes a difference to the way the pulse races with excitement n rests with an ease that sets a mood made to remain clutch... 

Multilevel tingles n flings...

The first one was a lesson to never settle as round two with someone else was nothing more than a game i played... But we all at some point have a selfishness to gain... As the next one showed me it's ok to open up... Fell into an endless feel to come where i was willing n caught my first twist of having no sign of trust... Follow that up with true intent n how deep emotion can go i realized what's no good for me... I had to dig that one outta my chest as the burial was self inflected on her part setting me free... N in between that one n a repeat of similarities in a damn near identical being i could finally comprehend what tongues are capable of... Removing myself from dreams i had no business role playing as superman n gave up on the rush... N then there was how the recognition of luv'd ones was to be considered for relations to evolve... Complicated the walk took a turn to depart outta respect never to tamper with family as a problem solved... Revolving once again it all came down to having patience in the round about of the last one that clarified being alone isn't so bad... I tried to make a friend who like three of the ones prior to the temptation couldn't hold it together for a better cause that will go down as a story told in a tone so sad... Holding trust tight n wanting to believe in someone is a mental irritation even with all the others i cannot remember that never got close enough to feel me beneath my skin... Each helping shape a better version of me that has had enough of luv's bs leaving the memory with those i can recall tucked in the ribs... As focus truly zoomed in on what's best is a friend if they ever choose to understand everything is mental... Able to establish a rare maturity where desires n passions are safely embranced in the comfort of arms creating dimples... It took seven different tingles on mutlilevels n idk how many flings to wrap my mind around what matters the most... As individually very few actually had my curiosity willing to see where things could go... N as the days have come n gone life doesn't seem to be the same having to restart new beginnings that ended for me to ever enjoy... Missing pieces of where the heart was is what hurts the most when the walls cannot see the light living with a void... Overlooking the misfortune to getting on with life that refuses to wait on halfhearted bests... To hopefully rest with the earnings of actions placed into needed thoughts to remain as what cannot be taken outta the head... One by one they've been placed here as a whole as there was always something that drove a wedge... As i wonder who in the fuck can function with a natural sense of ahh within reason so the silent crave can relax as is... I paused to live a lil so it's me to be known even if others just can't come to enjoy the me i am after so long... Allowing the ashes to set for the wind to carry away all the lingering false hopes that need not be prolonged... Forever in tuned with my smile no matter the situation I'm in... I am only as picky as wanting my joy to shine so i too can relate to someone in sync with their grin...

get to the good stuff...

everything ends so lets get to the point... if there's something i should know let it be known... bypass the flutters of the new feel n come for my jugular... remove the crown n come down from ur throne... why waste time getting to what makes n breaks the bonds... hope never opens doors quite like understanding who's come face to face with the feeling that flows... cripple my thought early is the concept if u can relate... i have shit to do n the malarkey isn't on my agenda to make believe in a happy lil home... give it to me as if friends were to keep it real... show pieces of yourself so raw intent chuckles as moans roam... cripple the hype that wares off ever so fast... i wanna see u at that moment of wtf so i can adapt to the twist hidden yet to be thrown... don't butter me up for a kill to sooth ur selfish ways... make me a witness to something rare in its delivery n switch up ur tone... gimme truths as use awaits to counter punch... otherwise i could care less if u find luv or wind up alone...

chasing luv without a friend to be made...

into the skin they go...
sinking beneath the touch n go...
rushing emotion to feel them hooting demands...
then failing to reason with why should someone open to clinching hands...
they don't know what has settled under the surface gone unseen...
there's jus a high risk factor overlooked that somehow sets them free...
as time tells of twists that make or break realities...
n they wonder why their desires always drift into lonely night as if laid down as yet another fatality...
causing so much pain before relations can truly take off...
sitting around believing if they're not with another their passion is a loss...
left to crave each attempt as a linger in the heart...
unfinished intent motioning to grab a hold n never let go of the spark...
creating an issue of who's who playing gout as differences sets deep in the eyes...
from dead roses that's been plucked to hope floating downstream away from life...
the need instead of want confuses their well being of what's good n what creeps...
being nothing more than a moment in the mind as attachments readjust to silent nights that breed...
having to forget the comfort of a wanna be friend with their own battle within...
pretending how nothing matters all the while of motionless grins...
they chase luv by all means claiming to be different than most as they fade...
as mirrors find them staring once again without a friend to be made...

Fuck em all...

Fuck people n their hidden secrets... Faults n hardships teetering on lips yet to be announced... Let them battle is silence with their so called demons... It ain't worth the distance to be shown in times lingering to be denounced... Fake smiles hold the surface at bay... Drifting as far as the mirrors image can cuckle... Laughing at the use one tries to find in a friend claimed... As ownership os the last thing to ever fot the puzzle... People suck in their own self attempt to create a void filled... Giving off false signals where true intent should be... Dug deep into the curiosities reason to feel a thrill... There's no real expression to laugh with a foe thinking emotion is free... They only want self to feel the comfort in their own... Always talking sideways as if the truth is a besidea the point... Wearing their lies upon the misplacement of thrones... Catering to another long enough to flip realities into opposite directions in which two are going... People cannot be trustes past the individual beneath the seams... Contradicting their own voice spat out in the sounds if tone... Promising they're different than others lost in some sorta dream... N they make u feel home is a place where solitude moans... Failing to prove what is n what will never be... Occasionally floating back n forth in between getting their way n what has lost hope... So many cannot comprehend luv is a selfish game of gimme... Turning a thought of good intentions into another nightmare sitting alone...