ghost like sidekick

Followin the shadows lead i chase the disfigured shapes.
Watchin em disappear in the drizzle of pourin rain.
As silhouettes beneath the feet run from the sun.
Away to the other side like, what the fuck?
N the nights claim the facts that will forever remain.
Into the dark i go layin with the acquired pain.
They all appear to resemble the unconditional need of luv.
N there's only been one that reached for the texture of touch.
Oh that shady figure tryin to keep up has me wonderin lost.
I'm a goner seekin the feel put on a muted pause.
Halted by the storms dribble hidin the truth.
Descendin with the pieces of the moisturized clues.
Invisible to the clouds hoverin up n under the fire.
The resemblance fades with the echoes of liars.
Unable to step in time on their own follower clingin to their soles.
Walkin on my memory of what i thought was truly untold.
Shift changers that could never be the comfort of the pass.
No matter what visual similarities connect the now to the past.
Their ghost like sidekick doesn't feel quite the same.
Unable to go with the hand that lands on my face.
The dance at the toe tips moves somewhat differently.
As the music hasn't the relevant meanin on the emotional indents intent to lean.
Escapin the surface of the feet lays the prisoner I've retrieved.
Cuz it reminds me of what i havta replace as the one thing i did believe.
An image without a face to lie of a luv I'll never receive toeing the line.
Blackened by the shade unable to feel the warmth of light.
Somehow attached as if a second way of comin will ever do.
To attempt my fall n merge unrecognizable to the blues.
I can't pretend to be amused by the abuse of a friend that's not mine.
The display is only a tease circlin the body as it sometimes hides.

the last to ever leave ur side

Out front in the open standin to be seen.
 One step ahead n closer to u i lean.
 The first one there if u ever were to fall.
 Comin til flush with any desired beckoned call.
 More than worth the deepest pain if given.
 Alone in ur presence i would rise from the hidden.
 Camouflaged in movement like no other to be seen.
 Wantin nothin more than to simply live outside my dreams.
 Frontline runnin to emotions design in full detail.
 Before an army of many that'll never for u turn pale.
 Spendin time on the visual as one walkin in rhythm.
 The march is a thump of a drum beatin within my system.
 Connected to the distance shortenin in between the reach.
 There's much untold to be seen in the mind that could be pleased.
 Tell me not upon arrival what it is i mean to u.
 The gaps fadin with the silence listenin to the anxiety accused.
 Attemptin to get lost within the reason of ur luv.
 I lead the pack most interested in the makings of u us.

the smoke

Under the bridge where the fiasco doesn't know it can't float.
 Strikin a match to watch the smoke signals to the old me return to home.
 Flame on! Down goes the wrong turn that curbed me here.
 Blazin thoughts to burn the memory jus to keep it real.
 Driftin beneath the wood stacks that carries the burden lifted.
 Witness to the weight crumble to it's ash, i must be gifted.
 For who I've become swings on a noose up under its path.
 Ooh the relief tickles my freedom in the visual crash.
 Set a sail blowin my own wind downstream to rest my head.
 Done, with a piece of minds peace alone settlin the nerves thread.
 It's time to bounce with the rivets pushin the feel of the reconnection of me.
 Thinkin, what comes must go as if it's as irrelevant as a dream.
 Engulfed in the smoke the burden is no longer mine to hold.
 Not wantin to find either side of the over path that crosses me sold.
 Downstream i go witness to the display light up the night.
 Farewell n goodbye.

possibly, perhaps, then again, it could be, jus maybe...

 Maybe it's I'm dead inside.
 Maybe it's ur fault, or maybe it's mine.
 Maybe it's jus cuz I don't give a fuck.
 Maybe it's cuz I fell in then from luv.
 Maybe maybe maybe.
 Maybe i fell in luv with the way I breathe.
 Maybe its jus the way it goes.
 Maybe, if I could find a rhythm, who knows?
 Jus maybe.....
 Life ain't nothin but a dream!
 Maybe I'm finally fuckin free.
 Yet that's a maybe dipped in the horizon unseen.
 In the dark perhaps my silhouette disappeared.
 Maybe took the disguise hidden from the tears.
 Lets say maybe words found their way.
 With the echoes vibes to the break of day.
 Or maybe time passed me the fuck on by.
 I'm jus sayin, maybe i don't know my own mind.
 I'm probably gone wonderin is the maybe.
 N it could be u to blame for hatin me.
 Cuz maybe i didn't give a reason to ur madness.
 Or maybe i did cuz i felt ur sadness.
 There's so many maybe's that go unsettled.
 But maybe one will tell the tale of fallin petels.
 Maybe findin the disappointment in these lines.
 Ooh, the maybe beyond the hype.
 Of maybe one day to realize it was jus my turn.
 Or maybe I'll jus never learn.
 Maybe its me.
 Then again, maybe jus maybe, it's the need.
 Of maybe it bein u i believed in.
 Shall i say maybe the curiosities growin thin.
 Maybe it's us n the way we are.
 Or, possibly, perhaps, then again, it could be, jus maybe we freed each other's heart....

I'm no superhero

Maybe its u jus don't know how to fight.
 Only knowin how to cry.
 Or maybe its me.
 Fightin for that linger deep in the nights.
 Maybe its u jus do u.
 More worried bout ur own use.
 Or maybe it's the way I luv.
 That scares ur emotion to a truce.
 Maybe u haven't a clue of what luv is.
 Reachin for u to land upon my lips.
 Or maybe I'm jus a fool.
 Still lost in that first kiss.
 Maybe there's somethin about me u despise.
 Like i did somethin along the way in time.
 Yet maybe I'm jus what u need.
 A lil to much on ur mind.
 Or maybe ur heart jus doesn't have any room for me.
 Cuz i can't stop givin to the way u breathe.
 The again, i could be lost in a dream.
 Wantin to much to feel ur lean.
 Maybe i thought it was me in ur eyes.
 That star dust sprinkled gone blind.
 Maybe it was all jus a lil ol lie.
 When we claimed me as urs n u as mine.
 Maybe we jus had or moment set still.
 N ran through it as we spilled.
 Or maybe that shit was actual real.
 Cuz I'm still feelin u within my grill.
 Maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe.
 The truth has been muted like a wink.
 Or maybe it's buried in the sink.
 I'm jus askin, what is it u think?
 Cuz maybe i jus wasn't ur superman.
 Swingin as i dangled before u as a man.
 Is it possible I've done all i can?
 Kneelin with the emotion, maybe again I'll stand.

the length before the end

How many ticker tocks u gonna waste this run?
 So i know what kinda time I'm spendin on a lil fun.
 I'm jus sayin, be honesty cuz i can't be broke.
 I've been there n walked away from the only place I'll ever consider home.
 Listen if u will to the selected words comin outta my chatterbox.
 Even the most tender songs couldn't hear comin out the speaker box.
 I'm unfazed by the connection u don't realize will be gone before long enough.
 Yet I'm willin to display how i feel for u collidin in the middle of the feelin of touch.
 So tell me, are u gonna stick around for a bit so u can lose yet another friend?
 Allowin me to get close so u can confuse me with the end.
 U jus gotta trim ya mind of thinkin we're all the same when it only takes one.
 To show this world not all men settle for any ol kinda luv.
 Do u see yourself come tomorrow in timeout cuz u couldn't come with it?
 It's real n it's gonna happen whether u like it or not on some real shit.
 Cuz we look like we're gettin it now but shit will change.
 N i can guarantee ur character will point out ur maturities age.
 I don't have a problem tellin u the truth in this lifetime losin the hands that spin.
 Jus like u one day will get away from me n go back to the life u say u miss with a grin.
 I know what's inevitable but I'm still tryin to spend a moment to place u in my memory.
 To remember u like the others weighed out on the level of enjoyment that claimed me.
 My thing of the soon to be past come on n go with me n live a lil til everything turns around.
 Cuz i can feel u if u allow me to express a bit of interest goin down.
 This is me livin in reality lookin in ur direction as u stand clueless to the message i spit.
 Nothin is promised yet promoted it finds words released upon the lips.
 Funny how that goes without the facts blinded by emotion as the mind can't see.
 U see, it's a mental thing to know someone n their reason in which the way they lean.
 So witness the purpose of the situation n come to terms with yourself.
 Cuz I'm right here to get to know somethin bout u no one else felt.
 Even if you'll be gone come done once the passion fades.
 N it jus doesn't feel the same to even say my name.
 In the length before the end I'll give what ur worth to wind up alone.
 Jus understand that it's not how I want it to be, it's jus real talk cuz I'm not ur ex's clone.
 I will fall in luv with u prior to u leavin jus for the feel.
 N yes I'm good with it cuz i get to hold u for as long as it is real.
 Thornless like a lavender rose i don't wanna poke at ur pain that never learns.
 Nor lie to the romance waitin on a forever to be given without bein earned.
 Refreshed by ur happy tears cuz u live in the hurt life in luv with every new feel.
 U can't make me believe you'll be here long so jus enjoy the appeal...

broken cracked n shattered

Yeah, i didn't even get to see the velvet sky.
 Jus my reflection in the glass of bloodshot eyes.
 Blended in as if camouflaged in between the clouds.
 Watchin the glossy glaze take it's shape without a sound.
 Broken there wasn't a crack of the shatter within.
 Only a smile faked to assure me I'm not human again.
 Standin close enough to my image lookin back as i turned away.
 As the raindrops rolled down the outside of the windows chase.
 Reachin for the invisible emotion still connected to the lose.
 I didn't witness the color change the skies texture in my pause.
 Jus motionless me ashamed to go eye to eye with myself.
 As if the storm found a leak in my home n landed on my face felt.
 All i remember is i appeared to have lost who i thought i was.
 N the pain that scared the visual left by a selfish kinda luv.
 My head hung on a gelatin swingin in disbelief.
 Tryin to catch up wth my mind runnin circles after somethin to believe.
 I stood opened n bare for the downpour to cleanse me free.
 Behind a locked door imprisonin what use to be me.
 Afraid to let go of what was left behind for me to save.
 As still as the dead my heart i knew was claimed.
 Consumed by a fatal blow that never touched like the graze of the wind.
 Yet slit me deeper than passion acknowledgin feelings spread thin.
 Shattered i broke behind the peep holes that cracked n gave a visual to the hidden twist.
 As i sucked it up n found the resistance grew into a better me not so pist...

It's hard. Luvn you holding another. I'm finding it difficult every moment of the day. Idk if I'm broken in a way I jus can't let go or hurt beyond repair. I do know I miss you one. But to ever go another round with the easy you luv scares the shit outta me if it were ever possible. Time aches for you as I linger through life ashamed of what I've become. Seems I gave everything I had to you of all people. The only one in my eyes that I couldn't help but to lay me on the line for. You once asked me why me, refering to yourself. Why me? And all I could say is, I jus can't help myself. Ur Mandy! As u followed with another question of what's do special about that? I don't think you'll ever understand what you meant to me. What I seen in you and felt and still do tryin this day than prolly live inside of me unused as life will forever drag out without you. Your in my every thought clinging to me. Holding me back from every giving anyone the time they will ever deserve. Guess I truly did fall in luv with you after all huh? What I said was real. I'll luv you til the end of my time and no one can ever take that from me. Do you remember that? Can you recall how lost in luv I was with you? Yeah, now I'm lost in another way damn near begging myself to just let the fuck go. Yet I can't. I've tried. Literally told myself I'm better off because I know for a fact that you are my kryptonite. Only if you knew that the friend I told you I was hasn't given up. Only if you woulda believed in me the way I did in you. I promised you you'd always have someone, at least one person that card enough to be there for you. As that was never a lie. Shit just got sideways and I couldn't help but to save myself. You forgotten who I was to you. But I've forgiven you. There is no hatred in my heart everytime you cross my mind. Just a lonely feeling of living without you til the day I die. I do apologize for my part in the chaos we shared towards the end. I hadn't a clue on how to have the depth of emotions that pleaded not in desperation to stand by your side but because the luv that still remains for you is honestly yours if ever you

the only one

even though my heart belongs only to u.
I will never surrender it's lonely use.
for the easy it felt on it hand to wind up hopeless.
it's emotion turned on me n find me useless.
with every crave that opened up to ur face.
I gave away what I was without a welcoming embrace.
I'll fever be always in luv only with u in my secrets.
yet ever the chance I'd run away with reason.
I was handicapped to ur relentless will.
turn from limb to limb as I ached ached so still.
I fell into u without a way out cuz I had no need to return.
thought my questions were answered as they were heard.
damn near ran outta my mind without u here.
after holding on to the one I wanted most of all I went there.
like a fool believing in actions that never met reality.
u took me from within n rearranged Luvs stability.
I stood next to u through the thick n thin to be left empty.
knowing a lifestyle took u away cuz I know u still loved me.
n til the day life slips from me I will remain urs.
no one has nor ever will dig that deep down into my core.
as I'll remedy what it felt like to feel u on my world.
Mandy Morgan will always be my only girl.
it's jus sad how u felt u need to go live elsewhere beneath the same sky.
cuz what you'll never know is I carry ur touch with pride.
in my mind I've come to accept what we had is gone.
lost due to ur incapability to realize I was more than a pawn.
yet my emotions are all but done n won't allow u to fade.
tryin to find u in others that jus can't compare to u claimed.
here but absent as the luv awaits goin to waste thank prolly never feel I again.
as it clings to the only present that ever made a difference to this man.
in my quietly kept u reside surfing the waves in my heart.
playing in the horizons display laying with my in the sands doing it part.
one in which u jus don't know exists beneath my expressions.
of why I was forced to save myself from it careless decisions.
the feeling lives one, it's unbound by time to want to luv u.
n I'm guessing you'll go without understanding ur use.
as I'd luv to show u once again who u truly are to me.
n give u purpose of what I mean that u are my only dream.
yet days tic n nights find the void laying next to an other that could never be u.
it's an endless luv that refuses to die that holds the proof.
but to actually live my life out with u was never a sure thing.
we wore the bond that satisfied my desires when u put on that ring.
n I'm falling apart still to this day piece by piece.
cuz ur all I somehow jus for some reason didn't receive.
as if the truth were ever to be told, I'd collapse into u as my kryptonite.
I'd set aside the time ur worth in my eyes to figure u in my sights.
it's a brutal reality lingering on not knowing if ur happy or held when ur sad.
cuz I was there with the weight that was never to heavy as u crashed.
leaving me stranded n dis attached from everything I was tryin to do.
walking amongst strangers trying to find a friend spooked.
that if u could do me the way u did, they will to.
n there only thing I truly wanted was to luv u.
funny how that's exactly what I got once all was said n done.
I shoulda been more specific to the terms n told u i wanted to be ur one.
cuz now I'm the only one in this relationship that no one even u knows exists.
sitting in the middle of life i guess ur the only one that'll ever be missed.

tha hooch...

Reinventing the dawg in the middle of the smoke.
He will reemerge as he exhales his last choke.
From within the cloud of luvs faking face....
The beast remembers the selfish games.
Living deep beneath my hidden secrets amused.
Waiting to reveal his own abuse.
The back up out the back door known as plan b.
To the dawghouse n back to the one left that begs to be free.
Lingering in movements satisfying sacred dreams.
Wondering about with ease from backyard to side doors.
Sitting in a comfortable state of mind, it's the tamed male whore.
The me wanting to claim me once again as mine.
A lil here n a bit more over there playing Sancho stealing time.
The anxiety is frustrating the way it feeds the crave.
Blaming me cuz the dawg within thinks I'm afraid.
Yet in between the particles of dust the memory jus wants to be touched.
I know he dreams of the pleasurable lusts.
Selfishly feenin to be flush without emotions.
Exploding with emptiness's false devotion.
It's the dawgs pound that thumps the bump.
Beating in his chest cuz luv is no such luck.
The k-9 times untold numbers stands leashed drooling with desire pulsating through his sight.
The hound in me sits at the edge of me falling into the night.
Howling jus past midnight n gone before mid day.
He remembers the life before captivities cage.
The stray that hadn't a need in being claimed for he was free.
N awaiting is the step of no returns fling.
Chasing tail up the skirts of trees.
He lives for he knows his growl is heard in the way he breathes.
From a young pooch to the legendary hooch.
A Theroux bred ladies man behind the truths.
Set in the glossy glazed eyes unfazed by chains.
Jus wanting to be let loose to own his reign.

enjoyin what becomes the past..

Through u, imma live.
Cuz I've forgotten what it was like.
How strange the concept....
I never thought it be me that hides.
To feel a bit of anything.
Jus to wanna be alive.
I count on u when i know i shouldn't.
Cuz you've captured my untamable mind.
Here in the now i fear.
Endless moments that soon will fade.
Another loss buried in the misplaced past.
Another luv undenied by hate.
I move within cuz of u.
At terms with the pain that follows.
Opened up wide, jump on in.
Feel me, complete me, leave me overflowin til my drain is hollow.
I'm a dead man walkin.
Heartless i feel only u.
As our fingerprints connect n press.
We to will become an afterthoughts uselessness.
So fuckin glad to have met u.
Jus to watch me go.
The emotion simply can not live forever.
As the mind releases a lil place called home.
Driftin into u i remind myself.
Time only lasts so long.
As precious as the memories made.
At some point it can't be prolonged.
I feel u settled in my nerves.
Adjustin the tingle in my rib.
Helpin self to my own.
N i cherish the blink in which we live.
The absence prior to u will come again.
As I'd die one more time inside.
Lost n ruined by the touch that escapes.
Til then I'll believe ur lies.
I'll be ur everything.
The only one you'll ever want.
The best thing that happened to u.
N enjoy the luv that chizzles the numb.
Stomaching tomorrow hasta come.
Eventually takin u away as my paradise.
As irreplaceable as the feel of knowin u.
Outta the back of the mind one day u will climb.
Stuck in the imagination of u n i.
Stranded as I'll face this world alone.
Abandoned n betrayed.
Ur king, my queen, dethroned.

swinging with times thought,

Unseen lines trip every promise that lies.
Losing the battle before the end of time.
Tipping a toe close enough to feel endless life....
Invisible edges disappear n plummeting is the heart down the side.
Limitless devotion fades into the horizon that changes.
As emotion crashes within n confusion rages.
Distance of dreams redirect lookin on in strangers faces.
Becoming a duel stepping with a turn in ten paces.
Words echo n bounce off the canyons deep within the mind.
Repeating memories lost in the rock to the archaeological find.
Forevers slingshot boomerangs n returns to far outta sight.
Believing is giving in to the hype.
What's shared is a selfish act of gimme what i deserve.
As the calm of luv ends up on the tip of nerves.
Seems truth is never expressed so it's never heard.
Left in the past back when honesty becomes a blur.
Falling from the imaginations state of false hope.
Dangling from a cloud by the threads of a rope.
Reality reshapes the ends which is the only thing luv knows.
Swinging with timeless thoughts that eventually lose their moan.
All in the same with the exact effectiveness lingering in mid air.
Meanings lose purpose in worthless pieces suspended in the skies tare.
A leak letting go of danger hanging on to
a stars anchored hair.
Blowing with the breeze out in the middle of nowhere.
As a laughter forms like thunder reaching the pulse that vibes.
The drip that defines the blind is only the matter of time.
Pride from the hands is ripped n deprived.
For this world flips upside down to see u in plain sight.

A single grain..

You do not know me.
I am unchanged by time.
Owned only by dreams....
A single grain of sand unseen in the mind.
In between the toes.
With millions jus like me.
Side by side feeling the breezes flow.
Yet there is only one of me.
Clinging to the texture upon your foot.
Wanting to be near you.
I am jus a piece of the scenery as you look.
Down on me as if I have no use.
As if glass looking through me to see the show.
What makes you think I do not matter?
Am I not part of the display that is shown?
It is sad I can not find my way into your chatter.
Seems you are to lost in the waves.
Crashing.
Washing me away.
As the water at your tootsies' comes smashing.
Where the ocean reaches for the shores edge.
Never thought of twice.
My lil ol' world in which you step.
Is only for your eyes as paradise.
For I am jus a simple speck.
Overlooked for the bigger picture.
Yet every piece digs into the chest.
As only the horizon claims the stars that glitter.
The sun that rises & sets so soft.
Changing colors in the distance.
& the moon that glows is a breathless pause.
Taking away from my own uselessness.
I am here for you to stand as you gaze.
Into a more comforting sight.
Beyond the grit that somehow appears to stay the same.
Yet, I am the one that feels your life.
As your soles walk upon my back.
& your body uses me for the moment.
I am the reason memories find a past.
Connecting heartbeats so diligently as if I am the one who's stolen.
I could be anything, only if you knew.
Your imagination set free or your wildest dream come true.
Only if you had it in you to witness what I can do.
With a little bit of curiosity you would see I have much use.

FINGA ROLL!!!

Two curled n clinched gripped fists flickin finga rollin fuck u's as they stand together in the obvious gesture released with so much pleasure. speakin unspoken secrets with slits sore n bleedin. pist with each drip that's $pent a waste as a couple of birds soar before ur eyes for u to witness how they dance in ur minds sky from the hearts enhanced pain that no longer matters. as if they're the definition of art in perfect form, worn free up in ya face n erect ready to be sucked by the blow hole up n under ur nose. The double fisted flippin fun fuses r lit for that boom in ur mind to explode as i will always remain as the tension u hate...

MUTED BY THE CHEW...

Singling out syllables muttering n untamed.
Playing within the fetish of the minds secret games.
As the muted tone on the lips has fled.
As the shape of the reformed delivery embeds.
Deep beneath the surface in the thoughts afterlife, buried.
Ancient secrets are locked away with dead fairies.
With those that said they were the one.
Landing in the head as a lusting crutch.
Tripping on the curves of untold truths.
Every letter seems to remain singled out n accused.
Remembering the abuse set still in words.
Actions outspoken as intentions lurked.
In the shadows behind Luvs selfish will.
Stranded in the middle of lifes high priced bill.
Paid in full is the twisting of trust set a sail.
Feeling ripples crash like waves behind the tale.
End of times repeating within the overloaded dome.
The images linger as the memory roams.
Capturing a language reinvented by emotion.
Here is the outcome of fondling devotion.
Another tender attempt to capture the design.
In frame & unable to fucking hide.
Tasting yet a new passion reaching for an answer.
Lost between A & Z scrambling is the panther.
Thinking pink lace with the prowling interest.
Griping a written style clinched by playful fists.
Individually unique the pronunciation rips loose.
In the empty spaces in between words separating the clues.
The puzzle of the depths surface to connect.
Piecing me together for I could never be perfect.
In expressions lapping thoughts on the other side of ur eyes.
Smeared in every babbling twisted line.
Real facts are infected by the past.
Falling forward with life in a wiser grasp.
Use me.
By passing mercies weakness to set me free.
I'm zipped up as if stitched in.
The raw untouched truth is as of yet, without a grin.
Now the rhyme switches to every other line.
Prolonging the imagination to make time wait.
For a different feel stretching the mind.
Yet always on point & never once fake.
Going unheard n unspoken.
All cuz ears don't care to hear Luvs slave.
With purpose in the rhythm less tone.
If ever the meaning could reach the spotlight upon the stage.
Imprisoned within the walls of the mouth.
Forced to obey & maintain.
Dissecting self in every inch repeating ouch.
Building up speed as if a locomotive train.
Truths lay in shreds upon the tongue.
Tasted to learn.
Lessons of letters torn apart jus for fun.
Losing & missing out on their own worth.
Words.... Muted by the chew.
Screaming between the teeth.
As the lips were taught never to show the munch without proof.
Swallowed with the never ending reality.
Quietly still as the silence lurks like a shadow inside.
Ready to choke from the restraint that gags.
Trapped as the alphabet rearranges in time.
Speaking a different kinda vocabulary with every toe tagged.
It lives beneath the cracks crumbling the skin.
Changing the expressions craving thought.
With a flavor sautéed for grown azz men.
Hanging on to the enamel as if plaque caught.
Drowning in the slobbers slick crusade.
Is the past reconstructed & awaiting its day.
Redefined to be freed with a spine no longer enslaved.
Tickling the change of selfs own misinformed hate.

cheese as if u r them...

Smile for them.
Put on a pretty face.
Show them u you can be what they are.
Play the part.
Stand for what they believe in....
Let them own ur depths.
Become someone other than yourself.
Be a good pet.
Repeating commands obeyed.
Follow the leaders that followed an other themselves.
Be like them who'll accept you for giving away individuality.
Give in so you'll never be felt.
Let them feed you the poison eating your mind alive.
Blinding your existence to stand as you are.
In true form daring Anything or anyone to enter.
Turning on yourself, be a sport.
Take one for the team controlling your train of thought.
N don't forget to take a grin.
Tryin to be like them to satisfy their ignorance.
It's your life, spread yourself thin.

PAIN!

Pain! Mmm...
The dreadful reminder of life.
Inflicted to feel the only thing you've been given....
Wishing for death to come from time to time.
Pain! Ooh...
The agonizing torture felt.
In many different forms it captures holding ones own.
Building strength as another notch under the belt.
Pain! Ahh...
Not exactly the comfort that's ever so wanted.
Pushing the limits to unknown depths.
Coming away with a memory earned n flaunted.
Pain! Hmm...
The thought cringes in the mind.
Better U than me giving sympathy.
No one likes what it feels like to cry.
Pain! Noo...
The begging always seems to come to call.
Please, riddles in turns taken so intense.
The hopelessly enslaved pleads to the walls.
Pain! Boo...
It'll sneak up on u n touch ur collapse.
Sending unpleasant thoughts through ur mind.
Then release u for a bit as it retracts.

moonwalk

Walking backwards in a forward motion.
In reverse mode, blown back under emotions.
Looking straight with driven legs....
Losing steps stomping towards the gain.
Crushing the shadow wondering wtf.
A moon walking glide loosening the lunge.
Going nowhere faster than a stand still.
Moving outta reach of comforts thrill.
From where I've come from marching on.
From birth born till the day I'm mourned.
Strides rotate under my torso, left right left.
Trying to get to where i havta get to rest.
Drifting in the wrong direction within my footprints.
Taking turns the knees are bent.
Slinging the feet flung into place.
Right where they started, stalled out in pace.
Maneuvered like a bubble in a breeze.
Against still air unable to lead.
Leaning into where I have never been.
A soldier sort of speak, nowhere I go, repeat n again.
Making it look good, unable to be stopped.
Looking more n more like the king of pop.
Under the spotlight for the world to see.
Jus to combine my reality with my dreams.

cuz i deserve

I'd take from the rich n give to my fuckin self.
Fuck u n u n u cuz not a one of u ever gave me shit.
I came from the bottom n it was all me puttin in the work.
Stood on the platue n dripped from the lip like useless spit.
Fell n wound up in the mirrors gutter figuring a fingering fuck....
Was the best way to pass some time til shit wrapped back around my mind.
Waiting on my light bulb to come on lingering above my head.
Time has no waste when the money grows a spine.
Ripped out n taken for keeps sake jus as greedy as the rest.
Mine is mine when it touches the palm that grips a fist in it's fold.
I'd drain myself of my blood before I'd part with a single copper Lincoln.
All cuz i get the point of gettin mine in a world so cold.

id luv to

Ooooh... Damn.
Mmm Mmm mmm.
Do u mind if i say what i can?
N say it like a man.
Even though u got it....
What i want isn't exactly explicit.
You see, u do turn me on.
Flick of the switch without even makin a home made porn.
Lil woman I'm in luv with your mind.
N to hear my name bounce from your lips like they have the time.
I'd match the mental level of understanding in life as you I'd nab.
Standing next to what it is I see that you already know you have.
Don't take me wrong, I ain't giving in to the over used emotions.
But your personality has me putting on the lotion.
Unlike Ted Bundy I wouldn't hold you against your will.
But I gotta let you know there's a secret place within me for you that spills.
In my thoughts jus to get close enough to better my life having you in it as a plus.
I'm jus straight up feeling you from the floor up.
I ain't seen nothing quite like you in all my days.
N I'd luv to be the reason for your happiness to blame.
To be at fault for your ability to open the fuck up.
On a whole new level of maturity where like lives before luv.
In all seriousness that vibe you're working with is bouncing quite nice.
I'm feeling it tap at my own drum pounding as it's spliced.
Ready to connect with the pulse n ease up on your world.
Cuz you're what they call a catch, a lone pearl.
Yet it's the stability of your mind that's got me sprung.
A satisfaction draped in my desire to come undone.
But you'll never know for reasons never spoke.
Sitting here without a name as true intention are wrote.
Breaking the silenced truths in ink jus beneath the look down to be witnessed.
Right in front of the attention taken as a secret could be what's missed.
It's real n goin to waste cuz I value even the thought of you.
Lil do you know, quietly, I think of putting it to use.
Yet there's things in this life I don't wanna part with.
N you being one in which losing would change the depth of my very own ditch.
Dug up n filled in to cover up a loss like no other.
It's the only term I come to of why I don't bother.

slits open up the back...

What turn wound me up here.
What really went wrong switching gears.
I jus woke up looking around wondering wtf.
Seems i paid the ultimate price in the name of luv.
I think I've came down a one way street....
Sitting face to face with a dead ends treat.
Met with a four way stop sign standing in the middle of life.
Everything points to the now n I feel it's spike.
Unable to return from which way I've come.
One lump or two George as I've awakened with the lumps.
Sucked in daily attempting to figure out where home went.
N for the life of me i believe my patience is spent.
Damn near outta options my mind runs wild.
Extracting the lack of truth I've kept on file.
Shit jus doesn't add up to wind up being betrayed.
As I'm doing everything possible to swallow the rage.
For everytime i turn around slits open up the back.
But at least i can not see what faces my past.
Restless n fighting for an end result.
Shaking my head cuz the final word jus doesn't come without a pause.
Captured by time for a better way.
In all honesty it's all the same by the dawn unchanged.
With pouring rain as far as the horizons edge.
Like tears overflowing the windows ledge.
Watching the seasons change as if tomorrow doesn't exist.
Stuck in idle mode as the head nods to the b.s.
I've landed without the bounce withstanding the memory.
Cuz the past is back in a fresh set of eyes capturing the testimony.
Same ol' let down collapsing n dragging behind.
Somehow the three sixty set me in a dead centers rewind.
Replaying relations I can not escape the threat.
On a personal level I thought I part this test.
Seems the feel is apparently identical every go around.
As my profile attracts the candy looking for burial grounds.
It'll never make sense to an outer shell shallow n needing a fill.
A fool to reel in n mislead as willingness is only words for cheep thrills.
I've awakened to this pulling me in to be devoured.
All cuz the want n think they have the fuckin power.

the switch

Spending life right back at it's own.
Folding up days within the creases bullshiting moans.
Laying the struggle to rest at the needs foot rest....
Turning to the pillow to concur what's worth to invest.
Escaping reality to less chaotic dreams.
Slowing down the rapid rhythm in the way one breathes.
For givin a fuck is in something of a dying need.
Deep beneath the covers, leaping from the feet.
The sliding underdog jus wants to slip away.
Flipping the switch on the logic running through the brain.
Worn down n finding the lack of comfort has confidence shaking.
Yelling at life of what is felt here as of lately.
With a good night n a fuck you to.
The string of use is confused n cut the fuck loose.
Untying the constant restraints resistance life has to offer.
Freeing the leg from the ball n chains roster.
For the living proof has claimed a wicked disappointment.
Within another day that shoulda been avoided.
Putting into life with no returns.
The will fades into a drift like a ostrich into a whole.
Character is vulnerable to crack catering to the caress of time.
Bein feed the fuck up with the feast for words remain a lie.
Handin over the noose before pushed over the ledge.
Jus sittin calmly within findin what functions at the edge.
Unable to lunge into what can't get right with the mind.
There's to many canyons with a horizon worth a sigh.
But very few echo with passions tone makin luv to thy name.
Steppin back from emotional suicide goin insane.
The drop jus isn't as tender to the heart plummeting.
This change is answered by truth surfacing.
Catching up to slow the poser smiling in make believe.
Worth reached in n flipped the switch of relief.
The beloved disconnection released the hooks feed.
Shit jus ain't what appears to the eyes that peek a simple lil look-see.

Influence by lies seen coming from get go.
Never having a chance buy going for the gold.
It's a twist to enjoy something fingers just wanna touch.
Knowing the end beginning rounds reach mornings hush.
Only wanting a bit of time to hold a memory that cracks a smile....
Digging into the comfort of being alone with an other for as long as it lasts.
Somewhere in the middle of the feel of having them before the clash.
Making the most of owns truths as life goes on.
Opening up for their presence to become worn

goin down...

Down is the only and best way to go.
Listening to her sound as she grabs ahold.
With a fist full of head between her legs.
It won't be long until she begs.
Destroying her memories of what she thought was great.
The skills unleashed force her tone to call out thy name.
Dropping down one level to peek at the spreads display.
Simply following the tongue to her drought moistened by a moment enslaved.
Owned by the twirl spinning around and flattening out.
Stealing a taste flavored by exploding hormones caressed by the mouth.
Lips to lips making out with her moans counting orgasms.
Pulse to pulse bouncing and vibrating into spasms.
Feeling her rip loose and cumming completely undone.
Enjoying her desire to be a few hours of fun.
Beneath the waist lookin up as hands wrap around the thighs.
Held in place givin everything to blow her mind.
At one with the way she moves to the tender touch.
Teasing time buried in the art where she glides upon the rush.
Becoming her play thing that pleases a never ending g-spot.
Jus under the navel a few inches past what has been chopped.
Trimmed for a delightful treat in which there is no match.
Breaking out the bag of tricks following her path.
One, two, three times the feel down on the knees.
Rising flush in full control as she feels the meat.
Inserted two lil, four lil, six, eight inches and a bit more at a time.
Worked in to her fantasies within her mind.
Deep inside where she craves the depths to be felt.
Wall to wall, bottomed out as her passions melt.
Dripping in a flow as the slide is so fuckin smooth.
Spinning her thoughts outta control finding her groove.
As low as the pelvis can swing and slide side to side, round and round and plunging just right.
Slowly playing her gasps against her that accept the girth in her with might.
Where she claims to imprison hearts unable to leave.
Down, is the only place you'll ever get her to pleads.
Begging for more the stiffer it gets.
Never desperate, she's just in need of some real to good to be true dick.
Popping, her body tightens and clings to thy hips.
Squeezing out an ooh my fuckin.... Squeezing the covers in her fists.
Just to drop below and do what she never saw coming.
Round two, Mmm, deliciously nummy!
Touchdown, through the uprights up and over the shoulders.
Extra points just for the pleasure that unfolds her.
Rolling a swivel, stroking a drooling untamed breathe.
Telling on her sweet spot exposed and expressing nothing less.
Than the exertion of secrets deliquently fondled.
As fingers interlock and intertwine on thoughts surrendered.
Owning another bust faced close enough to witness the ripples.
Finding the hands running for her nipples.
Forcefully flipped and climbing to the back of her neck.
Strengthening the pulses satisfaction laying down ones best.
Filling her nature addicted to the correction.
Moving with ease, she takes full advantage of a true erection.
Breaking barriers of a language never spoken and reckless.
Settling her lost untold sensitivity missed.
Just to feel the grip of her walls grab hold of the shaft.
Arching the back and pressing into the pursuing fact.
Enjoying how the feel takes her away.
Screaming harder as she's drained.
At the tip of the climax bursting out loud.
Rescued by the release doing her proud.
She's a tenderoni of pure perfection.
Down to reinvent a more reliable resurrection.
Sitting motionless in her depths as she finishes her twitch.
Going down to the tips of her toes curling for the fix.

the change

Watching them change before your own eyes.
No longer the one you fell for as you have to say goodbye.
The desire that fluttered faces the fear of never seeing them again.
Teaches the faces torn decision to made a stand.
Finding happiness left as they can not find you in their heart....
No matter what or how long you stood next to them doing more than your part.
The change of pace paves an exit strategy with reason.
Settling nerves merging as reality wraps the bends meaning.
Who one was is not who they've turned out to be.
As wasted time was enjoyed behind the eyelids lead.
Blinded by the emotion believing in what will never seem to become.
Letting go as the ease of understanding singles out the definition of done.
As arms release the comfort that holds time unjustified.
Not once wanting them to be perfect but to simply just be life.
The way it was meant as the day luv started to build.
Yet, reaching for them dropping the mic to scream what spills.
It just isn't worth the attention given to waste moments that doesn't mean shit.
As the audience of friends in the head chatters on a sad reality that has flipped.
Turning on a pivot so self doesn't travel back down the same road.
The mind wraps around how useless it would be to claim framed walls as a home.
Hiding the distance in between a luv coming to a close.
Attempting to protect self misguided and misplaced by the roast.
Tearing devotion apart within each word ripping the r.i.p. From the p.i.n.g.
That bounced off the head getting caught up with what was more than a fling.
But to every beginning there is an end.
Everything is subject to change as u lose another friend.
As the choice was made to stand in the presence to fit in.
Seems the real individual beneath the surface lives with a different kinda grin.
Luv is a disease that kills that fuzzy feeling of connecting strengths.
Unraveling in the actions intent bold faced enough to breathe.
Faces change but the same ol game surfaces to play.
Flat out, no one believes in you in motion just before the hate.....

ur super hero

Watching the spike shed u from limb to limb.
Sucking u inward as ur figure shrinks thin.
Owned by the domination of getting away.
Mummified into a comatose state of escape.
Drifting outta reality u slip into a trans....
Unable to cope with this world again.
Gone n outta reach of the good u possess.
Beneath the head u lay a waste in the chest.
Numb to the poison that taps the vein.
Without a care ur worth has been tamed.
I'm witness to u fall up n under a spell.
As muted words to anyone I jus cannot tell.
Hidden away like ur true self safe n sound.
Only if u could see, in u, what I've found.
Yet ur strength gives in as it's given up.
Unable to feel anything that resembles luv.
N daily, I sit in wonder of the reason why.
For my eyes are in need of new sights.
Damn near dead u teeter with death.
As this lifestyle I jus cannot accept.
You've become the opposite of what I want in my life.
N it's sad to say, ur losing my fight.
To bare to visualize u fade with every tie.
Hurts as another piece of u escapes my mind.
The display of the lifelessness' ur blinded to.
Has settled in the design of my eyes truce.
Alone in ur own world u drift away.
Soon to awaken to I jus couldn't stay.
Leaving this burden that is not of my own.
No matter the depth of luvn here that is shown.
My friend, please understand ur monkeys don't play nice.
As ur weight is to heavy for me to live a lie.
It's as if I'm the one at the end of ur string.
In pain, injecting the bittersweet into ur bloodstream.
The ache u cannot feel is losing it's mind.
For there's nothing I can do but redirect my time.
In another life, distant from this so called hell.
Only if I woulda known this was the real u, I wouldn't have fell.
Ur addicted to the feel of the needle changing ur face.
N it's ur life it owns, with it's cape.
Ur super hero that comes n makes everything all better.
Floating on a high as if it was made of feathers.
Weightless, ur to heavy for me to carry the distance.
Luv, it's almost as if u have no existence.

Gone.....

One more peek at the endless luv.
A split second in a glimpse.
To curve ur face....
Ooh, these eyes wouldn't flinch.

For the blink would take u away.
Lost again forever.
Gone in the mind runnin.
From the shoulders I jus want u severed.
Dumpin the head.
Freein u once again into my reality.
Here where it matters the most.
It be so nice, into me if u could lean.
Held safe.
Back to ur roots.
Standin with the fraction of time.
I'd promise never to take my sights off of u.
Jus for a bit.
To sit n hear ur voice.
To show u the luv left here for u.
Only if I could fill the void.
You've been gone to long.
Lost in the past.
Followin the linger into the now.
As days become years that end up gone to fast.
Seems I hold u still.
In my emotions ache.
As thoughts remind me of what we couldn't have.
U coulda never have left a lil to late.
U remain welcome in my life.
Yet the end came for u.
How in the fuck can i relate?
No one else will ever do.
U were the best ground I've ever had.
There's no one here quite like u.
It was u n me til the end remember.
Two of a kind livin loose.
N ur outlastin the pain.
Livin an eternity in my heart.
But now it jus seems...
Yeah.
Ur gone!
As it's silent here without ur sound.
Cuz u simply jus vanished.
N ooh how life now jus drags out.
Shit ain't been the same since u went ghost.
Guess that's how it goes.
Those worth a damn jus havta go.
Creasin the heart into a permanent fold.
Tuckin a memory to come back to later.
In my own story written without u.
Invisible in my mind ur fadin.
Needin pics to show the proof.
Of the life we once lived.
The life that escaped.
Damn...
What I'd do jus to see ur face.
So here's a pic for u to remember us.
Ur babies.
What u lived for.
The ones that need u more n more here lately.

no mans land

Trapped tryin to get back to u. against my will, theres no excuse. fallin into a life i cant excape. held within my own face. beneath the expression that misses the smile. so i retreat deep inside. stuck somewhere else jus wantin to go home. n im losin hope. fadin is everything i once knew. ive been imprisoned in a place in which i have no use. so much is wromg here. slippin into my deepest fear. unable to return to u. ive been captured by this silent abuse. as the rage has r...eplaced the pain. diggin into my own untamed. this is not where i belong. this side attraction has been prolonged. there is no help where i stand. n all i think about is u in my life again. ur there but ur too many miles away. as im the one to blame. jus know this is not my life. im jus tryin to make it back to u by my side. as it hurts livin this way. hands tied or homeless are my only options year to date. in the now i sit n miss ur face. fightin what u cannot see. u are the reason for in which the way i breathe. my will lives cuz u still believe in me. n im comin jus as soon as i figure out this horrifyin dream. im in no mans land. swimmin in quicksand. lost without bein able to make things right. but im on my way n that is no lie.

the dawgs pound......

Reinventing the dog in the middle of the smoke.
 He will reemerge as he exhales his last choke.
 From within the cloud of luvs faking face.
 The beast remembers the selfish games.
 Living deep beneath my hidden secrets amused.
 Waiting to reveal his own abuse.
 The back up out the back door known as plan b.
To the dawghouse n back to the one left that begs to be free.
 Lingering in movements satisfying sacred dreams.
 Wondering about with ease from backyard to side doors.
 Sitting in a comfortable state of mind, it's the tamed male whore.
  The me wanting to claim me once again as mine.
A lil here n a bit more over there playing Sancho stealing time.
 This anxiety is frustrating the way it feeds the crave.
 Blaming me cuz the dawg within thinks I'm afraid.
 Yet in between the particles of dust the memory jus wants to be touched.
 I know he dreams of the pleasurable lusts.
 Selfishly feenin to be flush without emotions.
 Exploding with emptiness's false devotion.
It's the dawgs pound that thumps the bump.
Beating in his chest cuz luv is no such luck.
The k-9 times untold numbers stands leashed drooling with desire pulsating through his sight.
The hound in me sits at the edge of me falling into the night.
Howling jus past midnight n gone before mid day.
He remembers the life before captivities cage.
The stray that hadn't a need in being claimed for he was free.
N awaiting is the step of no returns fling....

we both know

I need you to tell me you can't do it as you let me go.
 Because we both know i simply can not leave on my own.
 You reside in a lifestyle that wasn't made for me.
 And it feels as if I'm giving up on my gagging dreams.
 No mans land is the reality you choose to retreat.
 Sadly, all that's left here is the one you use to see in me.
 Release me if the truths are to hard to mention.
 I'm at the doorstep as your mans reinvention.
 If it's the opposite of your words that can't be told.
 Please don't invite me into a luv so cold.
 Watch me walk away and face the facts that remain.
 For you've got me going completely insane.
 I can't escape what you can't rid from your life.
 I'm only inserting the blade of my own dull knife.
 But if it's me that you can't live without even in the thought.
 Ease my mind and react to the touch so soft.
 It would speak without words that'll carry us on.
 Back to the place we talked about as the norm....

the moments past

Filtered, for you eyes will never see my depths.
 Stay in the presence of your own defense.
 I do not feel the exploitation the way you do.
 You couldn't handle the angle of my untold truths.
 So do not attempt to dig for what think you want to know.
 We are not the same in this worlds fucked up side show.
 I am only the moments past waiting to be hated.
 I can not give you what you desperately imitated.
 You need not find interest in the wonder of what I am.
 Your part time survival skills at will not be felt by these hands.
 You'll only hate me in the end as you drift away.
 Unable to fight for me the way I would for you to stay.
 A believer in words is a fools thought that he matters.
 They're only chopped up pieces of endless chatter.
 Do not step to the plate unless you have skills.
 I am more than a chapter of cheap thrills.
 I will not allow you to walk freely through my core.
 Thinking I an the one til I am on my knees upon the floor.
 The realness here has reason for a purpose you do not poses.
 For my worth will not settle for nothing less.
 Stay to you own still in need of completions armor.
 And I will stand true to the fact that I never meant to hurt her.
 For you are not ready to be seen in a gaze you can a stare.
 Time is to valuable to waste when it is meant to be shared.
 You do not witness me as a factor longing to become unique.
 Yet a mistake I will remain in your minds untamed physique.
 Do not play with what will haunt you as it is not yours.
 I, my friend, am not on tour.

what am i to u

Allow me to poke you with a point direct to your dome.
 Then again I shouldn't havta extract what should roam.
 From your mind exploring to ease the numb.
 At your jugular pressed I ain't the one.
 Take it sexual if you must think I'm so shallow.
 There is no need in speaking of power.
 This is a two way street so which way are you going?
 But then there I go again, what am I doing?
 If I gotta remind you that I am your friend.
 My best guess is we've come to the end.
 Damn near buried in a luv losing the language.
 Dig deep and witness who it is carrying your baggage.
 To strengthen the effect expressed in plain sight.
 Mornin noon n night.
 Hear me say what has no voice to be heard.
 Because not a single letter could make the words.
 Do I need to say anything more?
 In direct contact reachin for my worth for sure.
 It should of been obvious of actions that live.
 This piece is to the neglect set off and pist.
 At the rope that dangles in the winds take.
 From get go times been shaping up a mistake.
 Don't be another thought put back with the rest.
 Stand in and take part in what's goin on in the chest.
 This is it as the moment has appeared to come to be faced.
 I'm in this yet I can't see me bein the one misplaced.
 Spoil me in the soil that grows the design of luv.
 Is it a must that I gotta reinsert me into your mind, flush?
 Reinstating my reason in your eyes checkin the facts abused.
 For the verbal relapse of what I thought we already were is loose.
 The clues in your time is on the other end of proof.
 What am I to you?

Don't own me.
 Accept the one i am.
 In me.
 Like a grain of sand.
 In between the toes.
 With millions jus like me.
 Side by side feelin the breezes flow.
 Yet there is only one of me.
 Clingin to the texture of upon ur foot.
 Wantin to be near u.
 I am jus a piece of the scenery as I look.
 Down on me as I have no use.
 Yet, how do u know?
 What makes u think I do not matter?
 Cuz I appear to be similar as if a clone?
 So sad u can't hear my chatter.
 Seems ur lost in the waves.
 Crashin
 Washin me away.

the after thought

After the thought of interest.
 Somewhere along the lines of livin.
 Wtf went to the figment of the imagination.
 Wantin it more in the end as something's missin.
 Drained by a so called hells forfeited help.
 Once the mind wrapped around the proof.
 Warped it knew it was lost.
 From under the tongues unguided truths.
 Held in to forgive n not in a biblical sense.
 All cuz a smile mattered briefly, on time.
 Easin into erasin bein failed, carryin the weight.
 Memories dive into the nights.
 Suckin the life outta the comfort.
 Past the initiation of luv.
 Before standin within self all alone.
 Somewhere else sufferin from what appears as Alzheimer's totally numb.
 Shit jus gave way.
 Emotion gripped the pain with a creature named hate.
 Squeezin the stare of anothers cruel grin.
 The after thought is always the same.
 It's really to funny for a clown to smile.
 Expressin what doesn't need to be said.
 Steppin out the backside with survival.
 Seems someone's always gotta go astray.
 Unable to hack it.
 Gone n steppin out, becomin a blur.
 Well before they coulda let a mo fo know.
 In the change of mind confusion occurred.
 Sad the heart seems to back it up.
 Followin the lead of lust instead of luv flush.
 In a way, used til somethin better comes along.
 Gapin wounds open to the blind eyes simply unjust.
 Yet, who could possibly want them more?
 We know what we feel for them night n day.
 In our expressions we claim you'll never find another me.
 As the chuckle giggles in our irresistible face?
 Somewhere near the end we truly change.
 Tryin to hold on to who we wanna know.
 Desperate or fed up.
 Either way, characters take a blow.
 Snatched from the depths.
 Suffocatin in the pillows talk now muted.
 Screamin at the silence buried head deep.
 Emptied secrets ask r we ever undisputed?
 Then we blink n wake up years from the pain.
 N not only is it over.
 It's as if it were jus a dream.
 N u can't remember what it was like to hold him/her.
 There's nothin left to be felt.
 Memories shut down n become vague.
 As self has reemerged stronger.
 Wiser than a prior self engaged as luvs slave.
 N more aware to fall to the same ol bs...
 Windin up as a thought gathered to land on reasons list.
 If the eyes were to shut for good.
 Would the dream live on the way we'd like to remember it?
 No longer chasin the passions will.
 Runnin from the reality under the pressure of the past tense.
 Only if the thought would occur in pre game.
 Would any of it ever make sense?
 Back when the music made us who we were.
 Findin the expression in the movement.
 Madly in luv n comin undone.
 To rest in the finales end well before one could realize what it truly meant.

be suspect

Why is it that sad is not ok to feel?
 Like ones truths jus don't cut the deal.
 As we tell ourselves selfish lil catch phrases.
 Yet we ain't no better than the next two faces.
 How is it we lie to the one that knows us?
 Tryin to convince self to rise up in the mirrors lack of trust.
 Like shit doesn't matter comin outta the battle.
 Attemptin to shake off the mind of what's been rattled.
 Knowin damn well the emotion is as real as air.
 Not allowin it to run it's course to be more well prepared.
 Half steppin with a false state of presence.
 Smilin back at this shallow world as if self is irrelevant.
 All cuz it's viewed as a weakness for anything to make a difference.
 Jus to hide behind the past tense of silent remembrance.
 In all honesty self worth does get misplaced from time to time.
 N every now n again one feels like losin their own mind.
 Strength is not appearin to be better, off in another life.
 It's knowin what u had beneath the hype.
 Applyin it to self the next go round for keeps sake.
 Joinin a reality where shit happens to even those refusin to be naked.
 Figuratively speakin that is, as the tongue bounces syllables every time.
 Why's there a need for fake expressions as another is to pay the price?
 For u can't break inside to crack a leak in over ran wells.
 Shame on u for not enduring yet another thing this life can not sell.
 But u don't havta live in reality, I give no fucks.
 Be suspect!!!
 In the side show of selfs lack of respect.
 Linger in ur b.s. Like everyone else fakin the funk.
 Unable to endure lump after lump.
 It's not my feet that'll be screamin cuz they don't appreciate the way I walk.
 Real talk...
 When the pressure pushes in on the chest.
 It's ok to be a mess.
 To feel the weight applied collapsing the lungs.
 Jus a lil hint, ur not the only one.
 Even the struggle gets fed up.
 Back trackin n relyin on lusts.
 Cuz what appears to be real can only stand next to u for so long.
 Truth of the matter is, we're all alone so enjoy everything that will go wrong.
 N fuck u if u don't agree.
 I won't sell myself short of my truths caught n left to my dreams.

I'm not the one

My mind doesn't leave realities sighs.
 dreams r blackened behind these hazel eyes.
 maintained I know the cost of luv.
 for it touched me n bounced the fuck off.
 u couldn't dig deep enough on the journey hummin nah, nah nah nah nah, nah.
 my smile freezes like my frown weezes ha.
 never scared to be what ur afraid to admit.
 this piece is for my truths as self is the fix.
 I'm as real to me as I am to u as if u were my reflection.
 rare n the same beneath the surface as I am in my intentions.
 I've always been me as the man in the mirror can not lie.
 face to face with my image that could never hide.
 in a true state of mind absorbin the only thing I'll ever be.
 as wells dried once drippin the color of blood freed.
 there's no comin back to the world in which u live.
 I'm different n in a way u all tickle my rib.
 twisted inside I am the rearrangement u fear.
 a fragment in time cut loose by evaporated tears.
 in my depths I rip into the consistency that forms my frame.
 in me n me alone I take the blame as I hear the tone of my own fuckin name.
 spoken in my voice to remind me of the betrayal of countin on anyone else.
 I'm callin me out daily cuz its me I felt.
 slippin under surveillance followin my shadows silhouette.
 what else would I be if u were to guess?
 I'm not the one mentally tamed by repeated actions unclaimed by my worth.
 yet these letters will go unheard as plucked out words.
 chosen to shed light on the facts that exist between u n I.
 as I find a chuckle in this thing u called life.
 pledgin my alliance to the only one that's had my back from get go.
 wishin I could put this shit in a funky flow.
 so thumbs down to those that deserve two flyin birds.
 lost on societies stage tryin to be more than what lurks.
 one the other side of the curtains in which u rehearse.
 lil do u know ur symptoms r gettin worse.
 performin in a play directed to entertain those jus like u.
 this is y I went solo n became a ghost to the undergrounds proof.
 of the realism untold that can not be taught. I'm the the one that is said to be insane n so fuckin lost!
 Bafflin, I'll remain me goin outta the inside of my mind from the outside in.
 as I keep my proud yet not so arrogant grin.
 From this side of the finger raised to ur occasion.
 Here's a look at my angles irritation...

cold

The diamonds in her eyes out weighed the gold in her heart.
 Lost n dividing what's left she's the one that took part.
 Like a star shooting through the night skies burning out.
 Looking up is one in the same as face down.
 The twinkle in her eyes can only see the payment she cannot hide.
 Sprinkling stardust to seal off fantasies in with every emotionless lie.
 In her own world where self is the only thing that matters.
 As in her mind it's better than luv beating her down n leaving her battered.
 Searching the end of rainbows trying her luck.
 Never in bed of another craving to touch.
 A solo artist playing emotions to her sway.
 Pointing fingers n placing so much blame.
 She resists the passion that will simply never last.
 In out for the taking of some cold hard cash.

due to the flame

As i packed up my imagination n left my dreams for u standing in my reality.
 I left something behind that defined who i am that u never got to see as me, being me.
 For some strange reason it slipped my mind as i stepped outta my heart n into yours.
 Thing is, i forgot how to be me in the real world standing next to you making a home soon to be torn.
 In out for the right reasons that never stood a chance cuz lifestyles couldn't line up.
 Yet the enjoyment felt in ways even the tongue couldn't twist was exchanged through touch.
 Not always in a physical manor it found it's way riding vibes in between the compressed air.
 As our bodies was as one whether flush or miles ran through the middle of our luv that wasn't spared.
 Seems a stumble wound me back up within as i remembered my prior self.
 Stepping away from you proved what i knew all along misplaced in candles i watched melt.
 Due to the flame the wax takes a new shape in form that resembles what's never been seen before.
 Put to the heat of ending relations to be remolded as it's to be used at a later date dripping a pour.
 Yet that feeling of how i ran n dove into u jus to fall straight through as if u were in n out.
 A quick job is that of i that opened up as ur actions only half the time met the words u routed from ur mouth.

a buildings teardrop

We are what we are!
 Hanging in the sky like self made stars.
 Fearless to dangle in ur eyes.
 On the other side of the glasses surprise.
 Letting in life one stroke at a time.
 We are the ones, out of our minds.
 At one with the thrill on display.
 In our own world, the so called brave.
 From the top of mans designs.
 We ride the ropes to let in the light.
 Misfits that don't fit in anywhere else.
 Leaping away, every edge is felt.
 Free we are distant brothers.
 As one in many different colors.
 Claiming skylines from city to city.
 Touching man kinds break of insanity.
 With chuckles that giggle, stuck to our ribs.
 Swinging about n accepting what life has to give.
 The selected few with guts that never heel.
 A buildings teardrop knowing life is real.
 We are a unit, a family watching one an others back.
 Equivalent to a circus act well intact.
 With sight of an eagle to survive each day.
 As our instincts are sharper then the wild catching it's prey.
 A rare breed of individuals that descend from up above.
 In love with the feel of the rush.
 Our step is different than that of ur own.
 It's a ledge into the unknown.
 Where we face our fears n dare our death.
 It's how we breathe til our last breath.
 Like a monkey in a civilized zoo.
 Attached to a concrete jungle as we hear the woos.
 Topside looking down on our hometowns.
 We grind as ur hearts pound.
 Shoulder to shoulder, side by side.
 We are the rare n unbreakable type.
 No height will ever drain our pockets.
 No limit in any horizon is beyond our eye sockets.
 We'd trade or life for one another.
 In a bond like no other.
 We are the high rise kings so unique.
 Repelling the walls til we stand upon our feet.
 Capturing what we do with pictures from our phones.
 Wanting nothing more than to make it home...

in thought with what's left after u

I get lost in my thoughts, thinking how shit would be if u still stood ur ground. Above that place where ur remains rest without a sound. Yet reality invades the imagination clinging to the drift away. As crying for u in my own self pity like I'm the one that faded n escaped will comfort or bring u back from ur grave. I'm happy jus to be ur son even though the best years we never had a chance to share with memories disappeared before we got to making them. Fuck shit damn. The empty loss nearly 16 years ago sux in ways you'll never know as time without u we spend. Falling further from one an other as if ur blood wasn't enough to bond us til the end. Fam ain't foes by far, but something definitely broke in the bend. We're more n more like strangers the more weightless days climb on to our backs. Carried as if air in the breeze cutting through the winds meaningless facts. One day we won't know who each other as relations are lost back when eye to eye was never heard cuz silence couldn't speak. N we're to strong to give into anyone to even attempt to repair what no one in this world could ever replace that seems to have misplaced it's need. Brothers til death comes to claim us individually losing moments passing away. Hell, i can't even water the drought myself so i can't blame no one for doing the same. All i know is life is a lonely situation running outta the possibility of fighting this world together. N in all realness, it jus may be a lil to late as the disappointment is our endless forever...... If u could cry for me I'd cry with u cuz i believe i ran out of anything that makes me give a flying fudge stick. Yet the second part of that is a lie that jus gave up for what makes us, us, is gripped in useless fists. I can't wish u here n i surely ain't praying anytime soon. Only if u knew how i know all of us miss u n would luv to sit alone with u on a room....... Luv u mama.....

play

How do you like me now?
 Flipping script, changing sounds.
 Switching up who you were.
 To who you are you play behind your words.
 Approaching the danger zone.
 Where your alias is your clone.
 Different from who you come off to be.
 Times hidden truth is set free.
 Faking the funk ever so fake.
 But as usual never a moment to late.
 Two faces rip you from end to end.
 Exposing the secret in the way you pretend.
 Fitting in, in a false state of mind.
 But i dug and didn't like my find.
 You seem to be with it til doors close.
 Guard down, ooh no!
 The transformation is a disappointment.
 One if I knew woulda been avoided.
 Shady in the presence enabling eyes.
 What they don't know can not hide.
 Guiding them further more into the lies.
 Your as shallow as the come.
 Dragging out the end til its no longer fun.
 Coming undone when an other figures you out.
 As conversation is brutal from your mouth.
 Unable to hold a tongue with a reasonable tone.
 Crossing over in plain sight, dethroned.
 Falling from a crown not big enough for your head.
 Give it back and go find yourself instead.
 Something you jus have no clue how to do.
 So if u need a pointer, here's a finger to use.
 Your a gamer that doesn't know how to play.
 Helpful hint, your on the wrong side of fame.
 But I bet it feels good to be you huh?
 Piling up excuses that refuses that your jus duh.
 Happy hunting's for you ain't catching shit.
 As these are the final words that will ever drip.
 And land into what you truly are.
 It's a shame, how you play your part.
 Act one, scene to many to count.
 From luv to drama gloves come off in the middle of the bout.
 Entertaining only in the dark.
 I dare you to try and deny that remark.
 It's time to come forth for once in your life.
 And choose one of those within to be, all bullshit aside.
 Your a lose that could never be missed.
 Resist me please, I insist.
 Or would you rather I push you from the edge.
 In which you live that you even dread.
 Be real. Be you. Be what you don't allow anyone to see.
 Come up a level and move to a different beat.
 That vibes from the depth in your chest.
 As shallow as an empty pit full of others bests.
 You drain the good and suck so good.
 Sexual or not, test me, you wish you could.
 I ain't the one cuz I know the inner feel.
 The frustration of what's under the peel.
 Yeah its coming out as your going down.
 For that's the only enjoyment in you I've ever found.
 So play and clown with your immaturity showing it's ass.
 You've been put on display finally and for once, at last.
 I play your tune back atcha turning up the heat.
 In your hell, never again will we meet.
 Your a sad song setting fire to the lyrics.
 Burning a blaze when no one wants to hear it.

question?

Have u ever turned around n seen a heart break?
 Watchin what they held so tight escape.
 Or made it seem like shit jus doesn't matter.
 As the tear within is at fault with silent chatter.
 Did u ever walk away dead in the middle of luv.
 Jus all of the sudden show the truth to evade the touch.
 Have u ever broke down in the midst of becoming human?
 Twiddlin the questions til insanity feels as if u were to blame.
 Maybe got good at the game n fell to ur own b.s.
 As u felt what it was you've done to so many wantin to feel u in their grip.
 Have u luv'd n released the one thing u never wanted to see leave?
 Findin the lies in every word expressed was a selfish need.
 Gained n lost a friend that was never what they seemed.
 Did u ever have a moment where u could care less bout luv?
 Told yourself they're all the same n jus wanted to fuck.
 Possibly felt u needed rehab for the healin.
 Or simply unlovable knowin it wasn't ur fault but in whom u were dealin?
 Have u fucked up n became the problem at hand?
 Found yourself in a situation u caused that they couldn't stand.
 Did they visualize u as something misunderstood?
 When in fact everything u did or are doin is for the better good.
 Who's to say we all haven't at least once felt like a disappointment?
 When in actuality we bent n bend backwards as if double jointed.
 I bet u to were careless cuz u knew shit wouldn't last.
 Welcome to the real world where shit happens n it winds up in the past.
 Where u are the question that remains in ur head?
 Unable to see what they've all individually said.
 We're all the same hiding fears that effect us somewhat the same.
 Depending on what side of honesty one actually finds the gain.

i had to come undone

Remembering how it used to be.
 Luv was a stranger caught in a dream.
 A blurred out silhouette standin alone.
 As eyes closed every night as I went home.
 Jus to leave in the mornings unchosen wake.
 Back to the real world in a wondrous escape.
 Tryin to pluck the imagination free from captivity.
 From the shadows of the minds endless creativity.
 Afraid she'd think I'd find an other.
 Not knowin i wanted her n nothin more than her as my luv'r.
 My thoughts shaped her sexy curves.
 As i believed in her every word.
 She was always there waitin when I returned.
 Unchanged, the way I remembered only her.
 Waitin for me to shut down my endless day.
 So she could enjoy me for as long as I could stay.
 Runnin through the nights inside my mind.
 The luv we shared was right on time.
 N as her face formed it's cherished features.
 She came to me as the most beautiful creature.
 Standin apart in a sea of women.
 As I was the one she chose of all other men.
 To take her side as she sighed with every kiss.
 I remember how it felt to taste her lips.
 Yet time skipped a beat n we fell off track.
 From where she came she ran straight back.
 Findin her way to me here in my reality.
 She jumped back in to my fucked up insanity.
 Afraid to luv n scared to feel.
 She was the saddest thing that was so fuckin real.
 N as the darkness within my head swallowed her whole.
 I retreated myself as a disappointment growing old.
 Deep in my daydreams I've forgotten the way she looks.
 N the good times she gave me are long gone n shook.
 Free from a dream come true I realized she was the one.
 That pushed the limits as I had to come undone.
 Findin me in a situation so I'd never get lost.
 Comin full circle for a moment to pause.
 A pitch black memory jus can't seem to remember.
 Unseen n deleted from the shores of my mind she's lost forever.
 As I know now the meaning of lifes roadside show.
 N now I to, can finally go home.

later in life

 Meanwhile, later in life.
 I look back n realize.
 I awakened the dead one inside of me.
 As truths faced were dared to think.
 Yeah. I touched the depths crawling from within.
 Towards the surface I dug out of my pathetic grin.
 Fell from my eye like an emotion outta control.
 Jus to come full circle as the tongue unrolls.
 Alone in a room I was played by my own flawless game.
 Left in solitude my box was not padded as I remained.
 Unrestrained yet chained I cracked in silence.
 Filtering through worth n regained purpose without the violence.
 Real n intact, I came forth not giving a shit of what anyone thinks.
 Slipping once, as self was spent n spread thin as I blinked.
 Back into reality I reemerged a bit more of what appeared to be insane.
 My scared heart was a pin cushion with a band aid.
 Wrapped in barbed wire as I forgot my own name.
 Truth is, I enjoyed the snap that makes me misunderstood n strange.
 I admit n accept the terms that I was embarrassed by luv.
 Yet loosened grips of the hands eventually eased up.
 Allowing shit be what it really is.
 My mind attached itself to the words upon my lips.
 So I can hear my thoughts strength released.
 In between every breath I was dying to breathe.
 I'm no longer fazed by the one thing that's plagued my faults.
 Free, I know why the imagination dreams in sleeps pause.
 Some things belong behind the curtains of the mind.
 Never to take the stage for applause to fade in a sigh.
 The show will end a few moments later in life.
 As what's left for a while, is what even I couldn't hide.
 The reason pointed at my choices I alone made.
 N somehow I drifted into a fucked up image, mentally framed.
 Lost, I settled in n found me as my home.
 N there's no walls or locks to where I roam.
 As I come from a place I nor u can even pretend to see.
 Seems all along I've been following my own careless lead.
 My comfort will never lay in a bed safe n sound.
 As who I am to an other has never been found.
 It's a gamble I took that changed my train of thought.
 Peeking through holes in others that leak the cost.
 To stand so close to what absorbs like a sponge.
 jus to be rung as if tears were to pour when done.
 I'm good n different here later in life.
 Waiting on no one to turn into the lie.
 For I know it's only a matter of time before the escape.
 I've met myself under the radar n now I can relate.
 Me n I as we are one united adding n subtracting.
 Anything that catches interest or becomes a distraction.
 For I've come to understand luv should be a mirror.
 Luv'n an other as if self is witness to someone they do not fear.
 As the temptation is only a mask to lure one into their world.
 It's that face in the morning that's raw n untouched by lifes swirl.
 Spiraling as if flushing away the outer beauty.
 Yet, one still hasta simply hold on loosely.
 Untamable I wonder if I'm the only one.
 Tasting words that could be lyrics sitting on the tongue.
 Patient n unspoken til the day that may never come.
 I'm at peace here later in life as the ink is slung.
 Opened up as a purebred resembling who u hide behind ur bars.
 Content knowing even a deck of cards only has so many hearts.
 Trumping the family blood that should be thicker than a friends.
 The concept of relations is a sad dead end.
 Take me as a rare breed that never leaves the facts of reality.
 As I see through the bullshit of so called individuality.
 For I've pushed myself to the limits falling in luv with the pain.
 Listened to every sad song imaginable so I never become a victim again.
 I forcefully felt myself drained by wanting it's feel.
 N now u get what u get til I know ur shit is the real deal.
 Untouchable by anyone to shallow to simply be.
 Later in life, this is me.

foes in disguise

being in luv is the same as kissing the enemy.
sad thing to say, yet the all hate you eventually.
using your secrets against you.
your truths are never as safe as words that have no proof.
spoken to instill honesty of forever more.
those will fall short exposing your core.
falling in and dropping out of no such thing called luv.
it's only an enjoyment for as long as it lasts within the touch.
kisses to will feel different upon the lips wonder.
as the expression of the passion that once lived there will plunder.
foes in disguise as a friend til the end.
yet, even that comes sooner than the expectancy you can't mend.
live and luv loose til worth refuses to let go of you.
so the battle within can come to a truce.
as the wait simmers on how everything is subject to change.
and how you heart your own name won't seen to sound the same.
released from another tone telling more lies.
bottling up the honesty you try to hide.
knowing you only have so long with devotions betrayal.
then again, if you reach around that angle you'll find you never failed.
for time didn't stand still s the mind accepts the inevitable.
we are all alone spending moments that make memories of agility.
we're all camouflaged looking out for self.
not once putting another before the one we truly help.
so say hello to the reality beating down the gates locked.
because if you weird it any other way, you're fucked!!!

the greatest book of all...

can I write a chapter or two in ur book.
so we can see how the story goes.
so I can be a part of u for all time.
it might be chicken scratch to what's shown.
jus cuz no two people r indeed the same.
I'd jus luv to figure out I could follow ur character.
maybe be the best thing or the worst thing in ur life.
with a chance of my own to reason with a miracle.
whether I can be read within the same line as u.
or never make it to the end of pages.
it's worth the moments chasing every letter. Right behind the flow of ur pen upon ur stage.
is there any depths in the thickness attached to the bind?
from cover to cover so we can read together.
tellin the envy others can't help but feel as we spill ink.
spread as our legacy of how we became more than luv'rs.
in the greatest book of all we can stand forever.
side by side in inside minds like Romeo n Juliet.
in a way we r seen as the passion of pure emotion.
cuttin the strings so we don't havta be but yet another puppet.....

I'm not the one

my mind doesn't leave realities sighs.
dreams r blackened behind these hazel eyes.
maintained I know the cost of luv.
for it touched me n bounced the fuck off.
u couldn't dig deep enough on the journey hummin nah, nah nah nah nah, nah.
my smile freezes like my frown weezes ha.
never scared to be what ur afraid to admit.
this piece of for my truths as self is the fix.
I'm as real to me as I am to u as if u were my reflection.
rare n the same beneath the surface as I am in my intentions.
I've always been me as the man in the mirror can not lie.
face to face with my image that could never hide.
in a true state of mind absorbin the only thing I'll ever be.
as wells dried once drippin the color of blood freed.
there's no comin back to the world in which u live.
I'm different n in a way u all tickle my rib.
twisted inside I am the rearrangement u fear.
a fragment in time cut loose by evaporated tears.
in my depths I rip into the consistency that forms my frame.
in me n me alone I take the blame as I hear the tone of my own fuckin name.
spoken in my voice to remind me of the betrayal of countin on anyone else.
I'm callin me out daily cuz its me I felt.
slippin under surveillance followin my shadows silhouette.
what else would I be if u were to guess?
I'm not the one mentally tamed by repeated actions unclaimed by my worth.
yet these letters will go unheard as plucked out words.
chosen to shed light on the facts that exist between u n I.
as I find a chuckle in this thing u called life.
pledgin my alliance to the only one that's had my back from get go.
wishin I could put this shit in a funky flow.
so thumbs down to those that deserve two flyin birds.
lost in societies stage tryin to be more than what lurks.
one the other side of the curtains in which u rehearse.
lil do u know ur symptoms r gettin worse.
performin is a play directed to entertain those jus like u.
this is y I went solo n became a ghost to the undergrounds proof.
of the realism untold that can not be taught.
n I'm the the one that is said to be insane n so fuckin lost!
baffled, I'll be me goin outta the inside of my mind from the outside in.
as I keep my proud yet not so arrogant grin...